Personal self-development. Personal development methods. A complete list of things to work on
Our personality is shaped throughout life. Change and its absence, harmony and imbalance, new acquaintances and old friends have a tremendous impact on us. No matter how independent we are, external factors influence us. But there is a mechanism that helps control and guide changes in our personality. It works flawlessly, and if it is not neglected, then a lot can be achieved in life. This mechanism is called « self-development » ... Regular work on ourselves, as a way to develop our "I", deepen and expand knowledge, hone skills, helps us to realize ourselves in life. Self-development does not allow our brain and feelings to "ossify", it gives an impulse for new beginnings.
Self-development psychology includes a number of areas: family psychology, psychology of personal growth, foundations of leadership, efficiency. There are many ways of personal self-development, and here are a few of them.
1. Get an Idea Diary , in which you will write down all the ideas that have visited you, all ideas and projects. Periodically returning to the notes, you will weed out ideas that are unsuitable for implementation from successful ones. After a while, the number of unrealizable ideas will decrease. By constantly generating and analyzing ideas, the brain will learn to filter your "insights" more effectively. Self-development is aimed at improving intellectual and personal qualities. "Diary of Ideas" will set the vector of movement, will motivate you to new and more interesting thoughts.
2. Learn to cherish every moment in every place. Wherever and whenever you are, feel yourself "here and now." Every minute you gain new experience, new knowledge that shapes your personality. Realize the uniqueness of every moment. An attentive attitude to every minute will help you better understand people, objectively assess the situation and make the right decisions.
3. The psychology of self-development is multistage and built on planning. Self-development, like physical development, cannot be instantaneous. Personal transformation takes time and effort. In any fitness center, you will be offered a training program that is not designed for a day or two, and not even for a month. Various kinds of exercises are distributed according to the schedule and are of a regular nature. You can't take a lot of weight, run too long, or build abs from your first workout. The same applies to inner work on oneself. Self-development is an ongoing process. If you do it somehow, then the personality will be superficial, shallow, boring. After reading two or three books, you will not become well-read, from visiting a couple of museums - multifaceted, and from mastering one language - a polyglot. These qualities require regular study and practice.
4. Reincarnate into yourself a new one. At the stage of mastering something new, imagine that you already master this knowledge or skill. Of course, it is difficult to imagine yourself as an academic when you are just starting to study the basics of any discipline. But imagine yourself, for example, as a lecturer to a student audience, reading educational material. First, by speaking out loud any text, you better assimilate its meaning, since more nerve endings and receptors are involved. Secondly, you develop associative thinking and memory, and it will be much easier for you to reproduce what you read. Third, you facilitate the learning process by making it playful. And finally, fourth, just improve your mood by acting and portraying.
5. Allocate your time. Build a schedule for your day. Break the day into blocks by hours or periods. This will make it easier for you to plan things.
6. Take what you need from life. Self-development should be based on healthy egoism. Stop neglecting your interests. Of course, the psychology of self-development does not urge you to "go over your heads." But you must clearly separate your needs from those of others. Learn to refuse. For example, a friend, constantly pulls you to some kind of parties, parties, and so on. If your plans do not match, do not be led. Firmly defend your position, do not let yourself be blabbed and do not be afraid to offend your refusal.
7. Choose your environment. The above situation with your party buddy can rob you of his company. But is it worth it to be upset about this? Those around you directly and indirectly influence you. Therefore, you need to be selective with people. If you want to become better at something, find people who have already succeeded in this business. Playing with a good chess player will improve your results faster than tournaments with mediocrity.
8. Live in balance.
Well-being, a stable psycho-emotional state and physical strength contribute to personal growth. Take care of your health: balance your diet, exercise, consult your doctors if you feel unwell. Control emotions: do not be nervous about trifles, be balanced. Fight bad mood overweight, improve immunity. Decide which methods will be most effective for you. Shape your inner and outer appearance. Self-development is the process of creating a new self.
9. Take personal notes. Record your thoughts, feelings, actions. From such elementary ones as: I woke up, brushed my teeth, to such global ones as: I defended my doctoral dissertation in oceanology. Note the misses separately. In the future, it will be easier for you to avoid such mistakes. Record your accomplishments and reward yourself for your successes.
10. Meditate. Take some time during the day to be alone with yourself and just reflect on something. You can make a list of topics ahead of time and choose them one at a time to ponder, or ponder over what suddenly comes to mind. Every time in your thoughts, try to abstract yourself. Reason objectively, build logical chains, analyze, strive to grasp the essence of a situation or problem, look for cause-and-effect relationships. Self-development of a person is impossible without thinking about oneself, about people, about life and about the world.
A lot of people are now engaged in self-development. But the trouble is that really positive results v independent work a very small percentage of people reach above themselves. And there are very serious reasons for this, which we will consider in this article.
Questions to be answered:
- What is Personality Self-Development?
- The main mistakes that 90% of people engaged in self-development make
- The laws of effective self-development - what is needed to achieve super results in development
In order to understand what Self-Development of a Personality is, you first need to understand in more detail what Development is and what a Personality is.
Development- this is a change in a person, his purification and strengthening (disclosure of potential).
- Cleansing- from delusions, mistakes, vices, weaknesses and evil (negative qualities, emotions, programs, habits and reactions).
- Gain- the formation and disclosure of the necessary virtues (qualities, talents, abilities, feelings), the growth of the power of Will, the power of the Spirit, energy strength.
- About what is Personality – .
That. Self-development Is a process of independent human development. But I note that this does not mean that a person develops alone, without a mentor or Teacher, which means that he is completely self-sufficient and has all the necessary knowledge and techniques to ensure his growth.
Basic illusions and mistakes of Self-Development
The first mistake is when Self-development (development) is confused with cognition! Where cognition is the accumulation of knowledge without its purposeful practical application. When a person absorbs tens and hundreds of books on development, but purposefully does not implement anything from what he read in his life, but only accumulates information. This cannot be called development or self-development, it is nothing more than hoarding. I can say that in this way arrogant “smart people” are born, who, in fact, are unsuccessful losers.
- About what is the Spiritual Development of a Human - see on
The second mistake is the use of many sources of information for development. When a person in his head from disparate and contradictory pieces tries to assemble a consistent whole. At all times, only a few people could solve such a problem - these are the great Spiritual Teachers and the founders of Religions. So the majority need to get down from the throne, take off the crown and stop imagining themselves cooler than Jesus Christ, they say, "I'm now pushing for information and blindness to something of my own ...". In order to synthesize knowledge, especially knowledge in the spiritual sphere, you need to be at least a genius, or an unreasonable person with delusions of grandeur.
The third mistake is when a person bets on one thing, and discards everything else and does not take it into account. For example, learned one sacred mantra and is trying to apply it like a magic pill wherever possible and where not, to solve any problems and problems. Of course this won't work. Each law, principle or technique of development works in its own area: somewhere you need strength, somewhere a word, somewhere feelings. Prayer, for example, won't pump up a muscle; you need a barbell and daily workouts. How meditation and thoughtlessness cannot make a career. To make a career, you need other actions and techniques.
The fourth mistake is the rejection of authorities, teachers and mentors. Let me remind you that according to statistics, 99% of all successful people necessarily had a mentor, teacher or coach, and they worked on themselves constantly, many until their death. Probably they understood something in this, since they achieved success. You can indulge your self-esteem as much as you like, but without a look from the outside and the help of professionals (healers, mentors, coaches), it is impossible to move forward and up effectively. Know, no matter how you justify yourself, but if you think that you do not need any mentor, consider yourself “the smartest” - you have problems, the diagnosis is Pride. And pride is the main and most serious obstacle on the path of development, from which big troubles always begin in fate.
The fifth mistake is problems with motives. Or, when a person has no motives at all, that is, he is engaged in development for the sake of development, in this case he will never have significant results. Or, when a person's motives, why he is developing, are purely selfish, selfish or, even worse, negative (to take revenge on someone, cause harm, etc.).
Self-development motives- this is the first and most important thing that will maximally influence the effectiveness of development and disclosure of human potential. Let me remind you that the Higher Forces give good to the disclosure of all abilities, talents, and all the potential that is in a person. And if a person does not deserve something, for example a third eye, if his motive is not pure, this ability will be blocked and whatever the person does not, is inaccessible.
Of course, these are not all mistakes of self-development, but the most basic ones.
Basic laws of effective self-development
1. Clarity of vision of the final and intermediate results - the goals of your development. You must clearly understand what you want to achieve, who to become, what to feel, what qualities to possess and the abilities to master.
The goals of your self-development - be sure to prescribe in writing and in as much detail as possible so that you clearly see the result you are going to. How to set and achieve the right goal -.
2. The positive motives for your development must also be identified and realized. In fact, this is an answer to the question - where and how you are going to apply, apply and direct the revealed potential, acquired strength, etc. Self-development should always serve a Good Deed: the development of society and people, the creation of something worthy and important for humanity. If the potential is not used for good, its opening will be karmically blocked.
The motivation for development, if you want it to be really effective, also form in writing, and at the same time be as sincere as possible with yourself. Article “How to effectively motivate yourself” -.
3. A single source with an integral system of Knowledge(answers to the maximum number of questions), with the depth and breadth of knowledge that satisfy you both theoretically and practically (everything is realizable). There should be no contradictions in the Knowledge, something unreasonable, illogical and not practical. Otherwise, why then such knowledge that cannot be applied in life, which is full of contradictions and mistakes.
4. Availability effective technicians for self-development- to solve all possible problems, disclosure of the necessary qualities, abilities and achievement of the set goals. For effective self-development, a whole range of techniques is needed: from the formation of understanding and decision-making, to energetic working out, working with programs, beliefs, sensations, states, roles, emotions and reactions. Such a set is provided only by the system.
5. Worthy authority, mentor, teacher or healer- someone who can assess, correct your development, someone who goes a few steps ahead and will help you not to break or get lost. The one who, among other things, will descend to Earth from heaven, tear out from the world of illusions, because the path of development is simply strewn with dangerous traps and trials.
I wish you not to be arrogant, and to find the system of knowledge that will give you the maximum!
Self-development and self-improvement is an integral part of the life of any person who does not want to stay in one place, but strive to be better, go forward, call for something new, set even greater goals and reach incredible heights. Development is the foundation of life. You cannot achieve anything more if today you are the same as yesterday.
I am sure that many of you understand this, and it is the desire to develop and get to know yourself that brought you to this site, and to this article.
| Related article: |
Today I will tell you about 10 effective tips that will help you improve, develop, get to know yourself and your hidden capabilities. I will say right away that these tips are not a dry theory that was taken from other sources and skillfully copied, this is experience, first of all, my experience, my knowledge, and what I have tested on myself. A couple of years ago, when the realization came to me that drinking beer and nibbling seeds on a bench in the yard leads to a dead-end branch, I thought about self-development, about how to start new life, to become better, to achieve quality new level... It was then that I found 10 self-improvement tips online. Honestly, only now I understand that I just opened the first link and rewrote everything that was there. After several years, I can supplement these tips, make my own edits, describe personal experience and how they helped me. I am sure that each of you who really wants to be better tomorrow than today should read the article to the end and take note of my personal experience laid out as 10 tips.
1. Sleep less
Scientists have long proved that a person needs no more than 6 hours of healthy sleep to get a good rest. While most people sleep for 8-10 hours, they wake up feeling tired and heavy. Why is it so? What is the problem? The thing is that the main thing is not the quantity of sleep, but its quality. You can sleep 12 or 14 hours, but you will still feel unsatisfactory.
Regime is the first thing that you must develop in yourself. I used to sleep when I wanted to. He went to bed at 5 in the morning, woke up at 14-15 in the afternoon. It happened that all night long did not sleep at all, and only fell asleep in the morning. I liked this regime, but over time, I realized that my working capacity declines, I become irritable, I don't like everything. Then an article came across that the most optimal hours for sleep are from 21-00 to 01-00. It is then that the brain enters a special phase and the whole body rests as much as possible. I taught myself to go to bed at 21, maximum at 22-00, and wake up at 3-4 in the morning. It is very rare that I sleep until 5-6 in the morning.
Six hours is optimal. This time is enough for me to get enough sleep and actively spend the whole day. Now imagine that you will sleep not 8, but 6 hours every day. In this way, 14 hours are saved per week, and 60 hours per month. In a year you will save 730 hours, which is equal to a whole month. Just imagine, you will have a whole extra month, which you can use much more useful than just sleeping.
| Related article: |
2. Take time each morning.
You should make it a habit to devote about an hour to yourself every morning. I'm not talking about showering or other hygiene procedures. No, you have to wake up, think about yourself, about your plans for the day, for a month, for a year, for life in general. Imagine, visualize how you achieve your goals. Personally, I started practicing meditation, and it helped me a lot to structure my thoughts, overcome internal dialogue. Put on calm music, gain strength, realize that you are an endless source of possibilities.
How was it before? The alarm clock rings, you jump up, you are late, you wash your face quickly, get dressed on the go and grab something to eat. The day begins with chaos, this is how it goes on, and this is how the whole life passes. In a hurry, not understanding where and why we are running, why all this is happening.
After you sleep less and devote some time to yourself, you will definitely learn to live in peace, enjoy the moment now. Learn to analyze your actions, thoughts, judgments, desires. This is already a very big step towards the beginning of serious self-improvement.
3. Prioritize
In life, there are always important things that need priority attention, and there is something secondary that you should not worry about in the first place. As a rule, we often interchange these concepts, and do not pay enough attention to important things at all. We are eternally chasing something big, without understanding why we need it. And when we receive it, we realize that this is absolutely not what we wanted. And again we set ourselves false goals, we are engaged in what does not bring pleasure in order to achieve these goals. Now I'm talking about a job that you absolutely don't like.
Speaking to graduates of Stanford University, Steve Jobs said: “Every morning ask yourself if this was the last day of my life, I would do what I plan to do today. And when the answer is negative for several days in a row, then think about the fact that it is time to change something. "
Many may argue, they say, if I do what I like, where do I get the money, how do I make money? Why do you dismiss the idea that your favorite business is capable of bringing good earnings? Look, the biggest money is not earned by those who work, but who simply enjoy a high-paying hobby. Sergey Brin, the founder of Google, once said: “Money has never been important to us. We did what we really liked. I am very pleased that this has brought us a good fortune in the future. "
There is only one advice - want to develop and improve, want to be better? Prioritize, do what you love.
4. Stimulate yourself to positive thoughts
Positive thinking and a vision of the world is another important aspect of human development. Remember that positive thought has tremendous power, it is creative, it creates us. Remember your state of mind when you met a friend whom you have not seen for a long time, or when you learned about some joyful event, or when you hugged your girlfriend, after several months of separation. These are wonderful emotions, bright, pure. Now remember the most negative ones: anger, envy, resentment, desire for revenge, hatred. Even when you read these words inside it becomes uncomfortable. Therefore, you need to learn to think positively.
Personally, I used the "rubber band" method, which I learned about a couple of years ago. I wore a regular rubber band on my wrist, and every time a negative emotion came into my head, when I wanted to be unreasonably angry and curse, I pulled on the rubber band and clicked it on my wrist. Thus, I did not allow myself to concentrate on the negative, and go deep into the "dark side of me". Over time, you will get used to thinking only positively, and life will change dramatically.
| Related article: |
5. Smile
Whoever you talk to, no matter how you talk (by phone or live), always smile. I'm not saying that it should be faked Hollywood smile, but you should smile sweetly, making it clear to the interlocutor about your good and positive mood. If you smile at a person, he will also smile in return.
Sometimes it's so nice when you're on the bus and you see a sad girl at the bus stop. And in an instant she looks at you, you smile at her sweetly, she smiles back at you and that's it. You may never see each other again, but the feelings remain wonderful.
6. Have a notebook always at hand
Why do you ask? Everything is very simple. When you are positive, open to the world, want to develop and improve, then incredible ideas will begin to come to your life, into your head. Perhaps you want to start your own business, or improve the existing one. Think about it for several days, and now, while riding in the subway, at some overcrowded station, when everyone is pushing and buzzing, you indulge in yourself, in your thoughts and experiences. And it is at this moment that a brilliant idea comes in. What do we have to do? That's right, write it down. And how to write it down if there is no notebook and pen in the bag?
You can never predict the course of your brilliant ideas. Therefore, you must always be prepared for the fact that they will come to an unusual place and at the strangest time. Write down everything you think about, everything that comes to mind.
I always have a notebook in my bedroom on the dresser, so that when I wake up I can write down my dreams. Very often in a dream there are interesting moments, rereading which I can start thinking, fantasizing, thinking something out. Very useful thing, take note.
7. Planning
Every Sunday night, do not devote to entertainment shows, or watching a TV series with beer and chips, but planning. Analyze all that you have done in the week, praise yourself, thank God (no matter what you call this power) for help, think over plans and tasks for the next week. You do not need to paint a clear plan, set specific tasks. Just define for yourself what you should do, when, and most importantly why. And most importantly, if something goes wrong, and your plans for the week are partially not fulfilled, then you should not be upset. If you made every effort, and did not lie on your side for 7 days, then everything is fine, everything happened as it should.
| Related article: |
8. Communicate more
Remember that your quality of life also depends on your communication with other people. Try to communicate more, learn from their experience and knowledge. If there is an opportunity to attend a lecture of some famous person, then go there. Always learn new things, always try to discover unprecedented horizons for yourself.
Communication with other people is necessary, but also pay attention to communication with yourself. If you are confident in yourself and your strengths, are set for a positive result, then you will definitely achieve what you have in mind.
9. The main goal, not the end result.
Old and wise Rockefeller said: "If your ultimate goal is money, then you will never have it." In other words, you shouldn't focus on money as a result of your work. Have broader goals. Do what you do for the benefit of society and specific people. Here I immediately recall an interview with Mark Zuckerberg, who said that their goal was not to make money, they just wanted to help students communicate, to make their communication more accessible and faster. What happened as a result? The biggest social network in the world, and Mark at 23 became the youngest billionaire. And even now he says that he did not think and does not think about money. Its goal is to improve Facebook, make communication between people even easier and more accessible.
You ask, what about money? If you are doing what you love, you do not do it out of a desire to just make money, then the money will come, of course, and there will be just enough to satisfy all your needs.
10. Laugh every morning
Someone advises to induce artificial laughter and laugh in front of the mirror. Honestly, I couldn't do it at all, and I looked stupid. But there was another way. I have several dozen tracks that make you smile, are associated with something positive. Every morning I turn them on, dance, laugh and rejoice.
You ask, why laugh? Quite simply, laughter triggers many beneficial chemical reactions in our body that lead us to a wonderful and joyful state. Laughter also brings the body into balance.
Everyone has heard about the word "self-development". Everyone puts their own meaning into it, but for someone it becomes the meaning of life. But still, what is self-development?
Definition
The word speaks for itself. Self-development is personal development (or growth, to put it another way), which is a very popular topic in psychology. A lot of money is earned on this these days.
Initially, the term "personal growth" was coined by well-known psychologists Maslow and Carl Rogers. It refers to the secondary (higher) spiritual needs of a person. As already mentioned, many people want to develop themselves personally, but not all. Self-development includes a wide range of things, such as career growth, achieving inner harmony, the absence of negative thoughts, being kind to other people, self-control, realizing one's talents / desires / goals, building social connections, reading useful books, getting out of the comfort zone, balancing self-esteem, dealing with fears and more. This can even include physical development, since a person who pursues the goal of self-improvement usually wants to comprehend it in all its diversity.
pros
Personal self-development has many benefits for a person. For example:
- Achieving spiritual tranquility. This also includes getting rid of apathy and more serious things. Many people do not know what worries them. It seems to them that they are spending their lives aimlessly if they do not do something useful for themselves and others every day. And it is for them that self-development usually becomes higher meaning life.
- Career. A person working on himself can often find himself in some business or move up the career ladder.
- Self-development can become a pleasant part of life, entailing the improvement of many areas, getting rid of a lot of stress.
Minuses
Self-development and self-improvement are two very related concepts. The pursuit of them, as such, may not be the goal. It is a long process with no end. And this is a very big drawback of self-development - a person can get carried away with it too much, but in the end it will come nowhere, because personality development has no ultimate goal.
And unfortunately, it is not uncommon that people who are keen on self-development are overwhelmed with pride, feel much superior to other people only from the fact that they are engaged in spiritual development.
But let's move from bad to good. Even without spending on trainings and psychologists, you can make great progress on the path of self-development, the best and universal advice will help you with this.
How to achieve personal growth?
You have already understood what self-development is and what it means for you, and now let's move on to action. First, of course, you need to tune yourself in the right way, realize what you can do to develop yourself and make a list (mentally or on paper).
Below we will talk specifically about personal self-development... It should be borne in mind that some people see the meaning precisely in spiritual self-improvement and religion, so everyone has it differently.
Now let's move on to the next most popular steps.
Meditation
Often times, people are prone to stress, in order to relax and calm down, you need something special. Meditation does not take much time, but it allows a person to be alone with himself and his thoughts. It will help you filter out the unnecessary and teach you to concentrate. Meditation can be practiced for only 1-3 minutes or more (optional). But it should be borne in mind that this method of relaxation is not suitable for everyone, because with a certain type of character, meditation does not help at all, but even annoys.
Healthy lifestyle
Everything here is unambiguously simple. V healthy body- a healthy mind. With good health, you can do other things, for example, career, social relationships, family and other important things. It is also much cheaper to be healthy than to end up curing diseases from which no one is immune. By the way, you can reduce the risks:
- Proper nutrition directly affects your well-being. Here it is only enough to reduce the amount of harmful products (for example, fast food) and do not skip meals (especially breakfast).
- Adequate sleep (6-9 hours on average) every day.
- Sports - just go for a jog 2-3 times a week, do fitness or dance, depending on your preferences and physical indications for good health.
Leaving your comfort zone
You should not jump above your head. If you have certain goals that you have been planning to achieve for a long time, but still cannot start, then now is the time. This is also a kind of way out of the comfort zone, but without any madness, which is not needed at all.
Have you been planning to write a book for a long time, quit your job and become a freelancer or take a trip? This is all much more real and very feasible. The main thing is to start and take the first step. In the case of travel - save up, with freelance - find your niche, etc.
spring-cleaning
The next point can also help those who decide to engage in self-development. The psychology of general cleaning is simple: you need to clean up and filter out everything that is unnecessary in our life. And this applies not only to the home, but also to the environment, affairs and other things. Although regular house cleaning will never be superfluous.
Thoughts
It is also important to control yourself and not allow aggression, because of which relationships with people can deteriorate.
The next point that a person can do for his self-improvement is to let go of the past if it holds back and interferes. It is not always easy to do this, but you need to look into the future more often and live in the present as well. In extreme cases - to a psychologist.
Lists and diaries
It was already mentioned above that it is very convenient to write everything down on paper. Lists are useful because they organize plans and to-do's. And a diary can sometimes replace a psychologist. The more you open your thoughts to paper, the easier it is to understand yourself. A diary can help all the way. First, they write in it what self-development is for a particular person, as well as all their thoughts and events. It is worth noting that even small successes should be recorded more often.
Books
Reading fiction is an incredibly rewarding activity. It will not be superfluous to read at least one book a month (preferably classics). This enriches speech, broadens the horizons and more.
- “Be the best version yourself: how ordinary people become outstanding ”, Dan Waldschmidt;
- The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Story of Fulfilling Desires and Finding Destiny, Robin S. Sharma;
- Transcend: Nine Steps Towards Eternal Life, Raymond Kurzweil, Terry Grossman;
- “Get out of your comfort zone. Change Your Life: 21 Methods to Improve Your Personal Effectiveness, ”Brian Tracy;
This is just a small list of books. In fact, there are a lot of them for every taste.
Instead of a conclusion
What is self-development? It can be spiritual, physical, personal. This is what develops a person in different ways and prevents degradation. A person can improve himself, even if he does not think about it. But you can consciously try to make yourself and your life a little better.
Sooner or later, any person ceases to be content with the skills and abilities he has and begins to think about self-development. In childhood, the process of self-development proceeds naturally: we grow, learn, learn about the world and look for our place in it. However, as adults, we lose this inner strength, which pushed us forward towards the new and unknown, we acquire many habits, complexes and everyday worries. And now it begins to seem to us that life is over for us, and instead of it a long and monotonous journey towards old age has begun. Then a person has a choice: whether to continue to drift limply with the flow towards inevitable death, gradually losing the inexpressible sense of the joy of being acquired in childhood, or to try to break out of the cycle of routine and gray days. Most prefer the former, and only a few are able to discover a new path full of joy and amazing discoveries, which we call human self-development.
There are a great many theories and ways of personality development, therefore, an unprepared person usually has usual and largely naive questions: “What to read for self-development?”, “What is the most correct way of self-development?”, “How not to be mistaken with the choice of not to waste your time? " All these problems of a beginner who decides to practice personal self-development arise from typical delusion used by many unclean "gurus" of all stripes. There is one significant difference between teaching an unintelligent child and self-development of an adult, and it lies in the fact that the child is taught to conform to the standards of thinking accepted in society, and any practice of conscious self-development is based on freeing the human mind from social patterns and stereotypes. Therefore, there is no single correct path for personal development, suitable for absolutely everyone, but everyone must decide for himself what he wants and how far he is ready to go in his desire for growth and self-improvement. The center of self-development is a person's personality, his self-consciousness enslaved by countless conventions and dogmas, in dire need of purification and liberation. A simple conclusion follows from this: a good teacher helps a student to free his consciousness from everything superfluous, and a false teacher, on the contrary, clogs the student's head with all sorts of fantastic concepts and fictions in order to confuse him even more.
Self-development: where to start?
The first question of a person who has decided to engage in self-development: where to start? You can download self-development books from the Internet or sign up for special courses, the organizers of which promise for short term and a lot of money to turn anyone into a real titan of the spirit, capable of solving any problems as if by magic. I am certainly not suggesting that all self-development books are bullshit, and that the courses are invented solely to take money away from simpletons. Of course, this is not the case, but even if you are lucky enough to find good literature or a knowledgeable mentor, it is not a fact that this will bring you tangible benefits. The thing is that universal methods are suitable for solving universal problems, and the more extraordinary a person or his problem is, the less will be the effectiveness of standard "recipes".
To distinguish good books on self-development from the bad is quite simple. The author of a bad book (or course) will first of all claim that he has developed a "unique and unparalleled" method of personality development that is suitable for absolutely everyone. Such claims are false for two reasons. I named the first one a little higher: there are no universal recipes for helping all of humanity, because people have different abilities, life experiences and the degree of mental contamination. The second reason why you should not trust the loud promises of charming charlatans is even simpler: absolutely all the practices of self-development that have come down to us from ancient times or were created already in modern times are based on the same general principles and provisions, and nothing new can no longer be invented here.
For example, the theoretical differences between Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism are colossal and undeniable, but the practical methods developed by these great religions are remarkably similar and use the same methods of concentration of consciousness. In Buddhism, there is the practice of nembutsu ("thinking about Buddha"), which consists in repeated and continuous repetition of the name of Buddha Amitabha ("Namu Amida-butsu"), in Christianity, to purify the mind and heart, it is recommended to constantly say the Jesus Prayer ("Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner "or very briefly" Lord have mercy "). In Hinduism, there are numerous mantras for the same purpose, such as the sacred sound "Om". In all three religions, these words are spoken not to flatter a deity or an impersonal absolute, but to curb the everyday mind and acquire firm concentration skills. The first task of any practice is to teach a person to cut off the daily hustle and bustle and look deep into himself, therefore, self-development of a person begins not with books or concepts, but with self-knowledge.
Self-knowledge and self-development
There is no self-development without self-knowledge. Comprehending the world, the child, first of all, learns to know himself, his desires, opportunities and shortcomings. With adults, the situation is more complicated, since they are convinced that the presence of a passport, certificate and work book automatically makes them intelligent, independent individuals, but in practice the situation is different. An adult, unlike a child, obeys a myriad of vowel and unspoken rules of behavior in society, and eventually ceases to notice that he has lost control over his life, having transferred it to bosses, neighbors, friends and all kinds of “idols”. It is these “idols” and the whole society as a whole that implicitly inspire an adult with goals, desires, thoughts and ways of acceptable self-expression. Most people cannot even take a step without looking back at others and at what they think or say about him. A person practically does not know anything about himself and in every possible way avoids this knowledge, spending everything free time in idleness and amusement.
Self-knowledge is often confused with silence. Some people think that after sitting alone for a few minutes without a single thought in their head, they already know everything about themselves and can move on. This is a very dangerous delusion, since it gives a person only the illusion of tranquility. In fact, learning to meditate or pray is not so difficult - the lower stages of these practices are available even to small children. However, their essence is not to spend time calmly and relaxed visualizing Buddha or chanting Our Father, but to curb the everyday mind. Only he knows how to meditate, who can concentrate on himself in the midst of a noisy crowd. And only he knows how to pray, who calmly and humbly turns to God in the most terrible life situation. A significant part of people who practice meditation or prayer are not capable of even the slightest concentration in a stressful situation, which in our turbulent age is fraught with the most serious consequences. This, in short, is the danger of the illusion of self-knowledge.
True self-knowledge does not begin with a feeling of peace or peace, but with shame, or perhaps even with disgust. People are afraid to look into themselves, not because of laziness, but because they are afraid of what they can see in the darkest and most secret corners of their souls. We all did things that we never confess to our relatives and friends. Over time, we have learned to justify ourselves or simply forget bad memories, but this burden of the past continues to weigh on us, imperceptibly influencing our daily life... It is necessary to free oneself from this heavy burden, and for this it is necessary to look deep into oneself with wide open eyes. There is no other way.
There are a myriad of tools and techniques to cleanse your past from negative layers. Among the most effective ones, I consider entry-level meditation (Buddhism), recapitulation of one's own life (Carlos Castaneda), and repentance through confession (Christianity). All three are presented in detail on the Internet, so I will limit myself to only a brief description of them. Meditation brings harmony to life and helps you focus on the positive aspects of life. It can help overcome the negative impact of past actions on today's decisions. The recapitulation of one's own life, described in the books of Carlos Castaneda, means “a re-experience and a complete revision of the events of life in all their integrity”. It helps to recognize the past precisely as a product of one's own will, and not a coincidence, and to get rid of the habit of feeling sorry for oneself and demanding special treatment from others. Confession in Christianity is, perhaps, the most difficult practice for a modern person who is locked in a small world of private individualism, however, if other methods of self-knowledge turned out to be ineffective, an honest confession followed by sincere repentance simply cannot but help. Through repentance, a person is freed from the invisible power of the past.
Self-development theory
There are a great many theories of personal self-development, and often many do not know which one to choose for themselves. People ask: "Which of the paths of self-development is the true one?" Obviously, a bum and a slob will not succeed at all, at least until he cultivates a habit of self-discipline. And an intelligent and perceptive person will be able to find something useful for himself even in an erroneous teaching. Since the center of self-development is not a concept or a guru, but a specific person, the true path of self-development for her will be the one that makes a person freer and wiser. And vice versa: any teaching that enslaves man and reduces him to the level of a primitive animal should be recognized as a false path.
In my opinion, one should not trust any newfangled esoteric and occult movements that originated mainly in the West in the last 200 years. Many of them are based on incorrect or erroneous translations of the religious texts of the East and are built around the ambitious personality of some self-proclaimed guru who suppresses his followers. Of all the teachers born in the twentieth century, I would especially single out Carlos Castaneda, George Gurdjieff and Rajneesh, whose books not only contain useful information, but also broaden the reader's horizons, demonstrating new approaches to solving boring problems. Nevertheless, I strongly recommend avoiding organizations operating under their names around the world, since nothing good has yet come from their bowels, but many good people have disappeared into them irrevocably.
In general, upon close examination, one can find that all modern and modern practices of self-development do not contain anything fundamentally new, different from what has already been created in the depths of world religions. Often, ancient practices are simply described in pseudoscientific terminology and presented to the inexperienced public as a "unique and advanced technique" for personal self-improvement. Unfortunately, a modern person is not very interested in history and is very skeptical about religion, but at the same time all his skepticism disappears somewhere when it comes to effective shamanic practices (to which real shamans have nothing to do), magic or astrology ... A person is still ready to believe in any nonsense, if only it flattered his pride and gave the illusion of his own greatness. But a slave who thinks he is free can never be free. And only those who recognize their slavery position have a real chance to find freedom one day.
Self-development process
Self-development is never easy. Modern man psychologically unprepared for systematic and purposeful practices of self-concentration. From an early age, we are taught to consume information from the outside, but the most main source information is inside us, and it contains everything we need to know about ourselves and about the whole world. This wisdom is present in a person from birth, but parents and educators suppress it so that the child obeys only them and in no case listens to himself. She never stops, but a person does not hear her, because all the time he is busy with something else, which seems to him more important than the voice of his own soul. A real teacher and mentor does not transfer his knowledge to the student at all, as many think, but helps him find his own source of wisdom, which will remain with him for life.
Self-development is a way into oneself, and not outside. The endless pursuit of new knowledge and new teachers gives a person nothing but devastation and depletion of strength. It seems to people that they are constantly busy with something important, but if you ask any person to remember what urgent matters he had last week, last month or last year, then he is unlikely to list more than a couple of dozen. Just think, not a second of free time and only 10 important things in a month, and after all, the whole life will fly by. Many believe that one day everything will somehow miraculously change, and life will turn into a fabulous journey full of joy and adventure. But the years pass in vanity and worries, and the magical moment of transformation does not come until a person is on the verge of death, exhausted by the solution of everyday problems that have persistently pursued him throughout his life, but have not found a final solution.
Vanity steals people's time without giving them anything in return. The person wipes the dust off the shelf, and the next time it gets even more. He buys a mobile phone, and six months later a new model comes out, which he also wants to buy. He makes repairs in the apartment and immediately starts saving for the next one. He doesn't have a second of free time to stop and ask himself: who am I? What am I doing here? why is this all? Modern system mass consumption will do everything so that a person does not have such thoughts, and if he nevertheless begins to think about such problems, the consumer view of the world instilled in him will destroy all his good undertakings. It should be understood that self-development is not consumption, it cannot be bought, like a computer or a car, and used to solve utilitarian problems or just for the sake of entertainment. Self-development is a creative process in which a person creates the purity of his true essence, and in the whole world there is nothing more important than this.
