How to find the right girl. How to find the girl of your dreams: do not chase "standards. Small tips for a big business
Finding the perfect girlfriend for a stable relationship is not easy. How do you know if it really suits you? Know yourself as a person, realize your own desires and look for a companion in suitable places for this - all this will help you find that one.
Steps
Part 1
Preparing for a relationshipLive a fulfilling life. An interesting and fulfilling life will make you attractive to potential partners. After all, would you like to date someone who has no personal interests, hobbies, or friends? Become a self-sufficient person, spend time with friends, pursue your own goals and develop talents through hobbies. In this case, you will give a lot in return to the girl when you finally meet the one.
Show confidence. Don't expect love from another person until you love yourself. Each of us is not without flaws, but you should not dwell on them, otherwise you will not attract a soul mate. If for some reason you are unable to get rid of the flaws, ask your friends to describe your best sides. If that doesn't work, work with a psychologist, therapist, or a trusted member of the Church to build self-confidence.
Don't get discouraged. Emotional addiction can easily alienate potential partners. And those who are attracted to despair are unlikely to be the best candidates for healthy relationships. When you meet the right girl, do not try to immediately respond to her every whim and do not attack with countless SMS messages or calls.
Identify the qualities that are most important to you. It will be easier to recognize your ideal partner if you know ahead of time which personality traits appeal to you the most. Perhaps she should be devout, cheerful, kind to animals, or child-loving and well-educated. You are more likely to recognize the right relationship partner when you understand what you are looking for.
Identify the traits you don't want to see in your partner. Each of us has qualities or manners that make it difficult to build strong relationships, be it deliberate actions or ones that we do not notice in ourselves. Take some time to think about what personality traits you would not like to see in your ideal partner. For some people, dishonesty is considered a major negative trait, while others are put off by cruelty, prejudice, drug abuse, or lack of ambition. Identifying these traits is just as important in building relationships as having attractive personality traits, and it saves a lot of time and effort when a relationship gets stuck.
Stay flexible. Just because you were able to identify attractive personality traits for yourself does not mean that the ideal partner will have all of these qualities. In fact, people often find themselves in amazing situations when they find love where they never looked for it. Treat attractive character traits as a guide to action, but not as a permanent rule.
Don't judge people by their looks. Most likely, the choice will be wrong if you start looking for a partner based on his physical characteristics, such as hair color or facial features. Even the most beautiful girl withering awaits with the onset of maturity and, despite the importance of animal magnetism, the relationship will certainly be doomed to failure if you choose a partner based on external data alone.
Show persistence. Don't give up trying, even if you're not very lucky at first. Just because you haven't met the perfect woman on one of the dating sites, during a blind date, or in dance class, doesn't mean that it won't happen at the next opportunity. Don't give up trying to meet a woman in one of the above ways just because you got unlucky once or twice. There are a lot of people in the world and finding the right partner is like playing with numbers, when you have to meet many unsuitable companions until you finally find the one.
Part 3
How to know when you've met the right girl- As a result of the conversation, you can either directly tell her: "Listen, you are a very interesting girl. Maybe we will meet this week for a cup of tea?" - or do it in a romantic manner: "To tell you the truth, I was amazed when I first saw you on the other side of the room, and after our conversation I liked you even more. Would you agree to go out for a drink with me?"
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Choose a date that is familiar to you. It's okay to ask a girl out for a drink together on a first date, especially since a short meeting will not allow you to get into a difficult situation. You will definitely not like a seven-course dinner at a restaurant with an unfamiliar girl, especially if it becomes clear by the time the food is served that no chemistry has arisen between you. Choose an environment that is familiar to you in order to feel as comfortable as possible; in addition, the chosen location should please both of you.
Chat a little and get to know each other better. Chances are, you know very little about your companion, so try to find common topics of conversation. Remain yourself. Don't pretend you like food or know everything about a movie you haven't even watched just to impress a girl.
Find out if there are qualities you don't like. Sometimes it is difficult to determine whether a potential partner has those qualities that will subsequently annoy you, especially at the beginning of communication. Ask as many questions as possible on the first date in order to identify in advance all the negative features of the companion. Does she have plans for the future? Does she love children? What kind of relationship does she have with her former partners? You already know what you want, what you need and what repulses you, and therefore you will easily understand what features you need to look for and will carefully ask you about them.
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- Likewise, you should not rush to the altar at the first sign of sympathy and common interests. Often the essence of a person manifests itself only when the exciting minutes of the first stage of communication are already behind. It's important to have fun together and date a girl without unnecessary commitment, before you get to know each other better. At the same time, the happiest couples are those who did not make loud statements when they were overwhelmed with physical passion and had not yet had time to experience disappointment.
- Akin to how you want to gradually learn more about your potential partner, it is better to postpone physical intimacy. Get to know each other better and determine if you like the girl primarily as a person, before deciding to take the relationship to a physical level.
Ask your girl out on a date. As the saying goes, you never know for sure until you try. When you come across a woman you find interesting and attractive along the way, don't be afraid to ask her out on a date. Do not think that she is not a berry of your field and do not expect from her the first step towards. What's the worst that could happen? If she says no, you will switch to someone else - that's all. Just be straightforward and honest when asking a girl out on a date.
Accept rejection and move forward. A stable relationship cannot be built by force. If she doesn't call or doesn't agree to go on your next date, don't let the rejection affect your persistence or undermine your confidence. Just believe it wasn't the right couple for you, and be grateful it didn't take weeks, months, or years to build a relationship with the wrong person.
- You can listen to different opinions, but it is up to you to decide whether this girl is suitable for a serious relationship or not.
- You are not perfect, so don't look for perfection in your companion.
- There are always problems in relationships. Do not jump to conclusions and assume in advance that your relationship is doomed to failure.
- A girl is not suitable for you if you have to change yourself for the sake of a relationship with her. But consider that she is simply making a positive impact on your life if she tries to help rebuild. bad features character (but does not require it).
16:14 - 18.01.2018
How to find your love? The answer to this question is not so easy, and it is even more difficult to do it. Poets and writers have consumed tons of paper trying to give us their thoughts on this matter. Despite the popularity of love themes, the centuries-old literary experience is hardly applicable in practice. The point is that the experience of one couple is often completely unsuitable for another. And even more so, it is even more difficult not only to find your love, but to find an ideal partner with whom you can walk in grief and joy until the very end along the road of life.
We will upset men, there are no golden rules for finding the perfect wife and there cannot be. Otherwise, everything would be extremely simple and completely uninteresting. But there are a number of steps and actions by taking which you significantly increase your chances of meeting that very desired ideal partner.
Mathematical logic of love
Let's try to estimate the odds very roughly mathematically. There are roughly 200 thousand people living in the average settlement of the Russian Federation. And only half of them are women. Out of 100 thousand women by age, 15% are suitable for you, this is 15 thousand people. How many of them do not have husbands and regular partners? About a third. 5 thousand people remain.
How many out of 5 thousand women will suit you according to a number of criteria (beauty, intelligence, education, social status)? Let's say 10%. These are 500 women. And finally, how many of the 500 women in potential can deem you worthy. Let's say another 10%. As a result, it turns out that in a city with a population of 200 thousand people, no more than 50 women can suit you. And this, according to mathematics, in the most ideal scenario.
Of course, our calculations are very controversial, but they carry a certain undeniable logic. Meeting the ideal partner and creating an ideal family with him is very difficult.
First and foremost
1. Decide
First of all, if you decide that you are ready to share your life with another person, you need to decide what your wife should be like. Keep in mind that you are deciding on the most serious step in your life, the haste at which it will certainly turn out to be the most negative consequences for you. As with any truly serious business in life, this issue must be approached with full responsibility. You must understand what kind of woman can become your ideal wife, friend, mistress, mother of your children. Without a clear baseline, you won't get the add-on you want.
2. Don't let society influence you
When deciding, listen first, second and third to yourself, your soul, your heart, and not the opinion of society, which imposes a wide variety of concepts on us. It is for you to live with a specific woman, to experience joys and sorrows together, to raise children. And the road along life path lifting children to their feet is not only joy and flowers, but also the most serious work that can be done well together, and not alone. And even more so, nothing will work out if your partner also interferes with you along the way.
3. Strive for perfection
And don't forget that perfect wife can only be found by a man who himself is capable of becoming an ideal husband. There are no other options. Watch your appearance and health, set goals for yourself, achieve success. By being strong in every sense, you have the right to count on the right partner.
Small tips for a big deal
1. Look for a woman a little younger than you
According to statistics analyzed by representatives of the European Journal of Operational Research, the most successful marriages are those in which the wife is five years younger than the husband. It is worth emphasizing here that this is only a recommendation based on statistical data, so you need to treat it accordingly. In fact, the ideal marriage can be between a man and a woman of all ages.
2. Search among people in your social group
A business woman is unlikely to appreciate a man without ambition. When communicating with a person from another social group, the risk of various difficulties arises. In addition, a lack or difference in life experience can also lead to serious disagreements. But this, of course, is not a rule, but only advice to help increase the chances of finding the perfect partner.
3. Don't get hung up on perfect looks
Unfortunately, we all have a sad tendency to grow old. Only that woman whom you continue to love will always be beautiful in your eyes. It is love that makes a woman beautiful.
Quite simple but amazing effective method to evaluate a potential partner in absentia today exists thanks to the development of the Internet. Most of us have profiles on various social networks, and girls are especially happy to share their life details, photos, thoughts, plans and dreams in them. Thanks to social networks, you can evaluate a girl's appearance in advance, learn about her habits and friends. It is very simple and, most importantly, convenient.
5. Don't be afraid to meet the girl's parents
Even if you are just starting a relationship. The apple, as you know, falls not far from the apple tree. Therefore, by visiting the house in which your potential chosen one grew up, you will learn a lot about her, about her character. And, of course, you will be able to assess whether you can get along with potential father-in-law and mother-in-law. This is a very important factor that cannot be neglected.
7 ways to find the perfect wife
Seven simple ways find the perfect wife. The effectiveness of the methods will increase if you use all of them in combination with each other.
1. Create a profile on a dating site
There is nothing shameful, unusual, or even more vulgar in creating an account on dating sites. Dating sites have long been a popular and effective platform for finding life partners. Therefore, it is not surprising that dating sites around the world have laid the foundation for many happy marriages... They provide a wide freedom of choice from thousands of profiles, behind which their owners stand - just like you, who want to find your ideal soul mate, a representative of the beautiful half of humanity.
2. Look for a wife among work colleagues
Women who are employees of the firm or organization in which you work have at least a common professional activity with you. And this is already quite a lot to begin with. On the street, not everyone can call a stranger on a date. Invite a colleague you like for a walk or lunch. This is quite a common thing if you are at least "nodding" familiar with the girl. You can come up with and implement a more neutral plan, invite her to a cafe with other employees, or "legally" bang her at a corporate party.
However, try not to meet with subordinates. Familiarity and the appearance of favorites in the team will not have the best effect on the atmosphere in the team.
3. Get your friends involved
Spend time with friends more often, meet new people, expand your social circle. Make it clear to loved ones that you are ready for a serious relationship. According to all the same statistics, every sixth married man met his chosen one through friends and acquaintances. But at the same time, remember that the final choice is made by you, not your friends.
4. Visit bars and entertainment venues
People go to nightclubs and bars not only to have fun, but also to meet a partner. Of course, in this case, there is a greater chance of getting a fleeting affair, and the "walking" ladies do not go to nightclubs so often, but in combination with other methods, this option is quite viable. Who knows, maybe ardent love story can develop into a big and bright feeling for life.
5. More often visit where people who have common interests with you gather.
If you are fond of sports, you have a hobby, an interesting hobby, you can do things that you like, together with other people, in the appropriate clubs, sections, circles. The more like-minded people around you, the higher the chances of getting to know the woman of your dreams. And it doesn't matter what exactly you are fond of, the main thing is that your potential darling shares your preferences. If you are a football lover, for example, you can easily meet a beautiful cheerleader at the stadium.
6. Start your studies
Resume or start your studies, decide to get a second degree. According to research by the social network Facebook, more than a quarter of family users met their spouses during their studies.
7. Look back in time
Resume communication with people of interest to you from childhood or adolescence. A common past can become a guarantor of the emergence of a strong bond between people. All the same will come to the rescue in this matter. social networks that will help you remind your former classmates or old girlfriends of yourself. At the very least, remembering the glorious days of the past is a great excuse to resume communication.
Last but not least
1. Probationary period
Even if you have met a wonderful person and there is not a single cloud in the sky of your love, take your time. Any relationship needs a trial period. Take a closer look at each other in a common life. Even if you have made an offer, wait, for example, a year. And if your relationship grows stronger despite possible problems, if you are ready to support each other in any situation, it means that you have chosen the perfect girl.
2. Be affectionate and caring every day.
When you are married, remember that your wife is not your property. Both the man and the woman in the family are free people who have entered into a voluntary alliance. Do not stop being caring and gentle, attentive and empathetic with your beloved. And most importantly, be sure that all the love invested in a real woman will return to you three times. This is one of the main charms of ideal wives.
3. Make surprises
Everyday life and routine are common occurrences in established relationships. You, as the head of the family, can and should even bring variety to your family life... Do not forget to please your wife with original little things and, albeit small, but pleasant surprises. This will make her feel like you remember her and love her as much as you did when you swore at the wedding.
Maslow argued that no more than 2% of people reach the “stage of self-realization”.
I will add - self-realization has nothing to do with the state of "happiness". You can be happy only in childhood, living in a fairy tale created for you by loving parents. Then you go to kindergarten (school, institute, work), where you will definitely meet those who did not have loving parents, and the idea of happiness is completely different. This is what they will actively drive into all those who disagree, justifying their behavior by the need to achieve their own "happiness", which is called "self-realization."
(According to tradition, the epigraph has nothing to do with the narrative part)
…
The food in the restaurant was not tasty, but pretentious.
A friend of mine explained the choice of the establishment as follows: “What is the difference between a good restaurant and a bad one? It is good if the Olivier salad is the same in taste on any day and appearance, but not so that today is bland, tomorrow is peppery, the day after tomorrow with shrimps ... Here "Olivier" is always the same. With meat! “In general, he was very fond of giving detailed philosophical assessments to everything. That is, "to define for oneself, as an acting and cognizing subject, the significance of a phenomenon or object."
Dinner and conversation proceeded as usual. For an aperitif general phrases about the weather, the dollar rate, traffic jams and parking in Moscow. Over the salad, an anecdote about Pikachu and Dmitry Anatolyevich pokem. For hot talk about who and how will meet New Year... For dessert about women ...
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- Why were all the women with whom life brought together were bastards, why !? - Classics of the genre. All the time I hear this from friends who have changed a couple of families and dozens of expensive, long-legged and well-sucking browbearers.
- Do you know how a reasonable person differs from a fool?
- ..?
- The number of repetitive stupid acts of the same type. True, there are still creative idiots, but every time they make mistakes in a new way and call it spiritual quests.
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Are you saying I'm a fool?
- Why so..? You just make mistakes of the same type without creative attempts. - In this place, without giving the interlocutor time to take offense, I slip the guilty one, - It's the women to blame. They always cheat in a new way. How many women did you have in total?
- Depends on the evaluation criterion. - He pulled the "milfey" to him, took a dessert spoon and continued: - If the relationship, then less than ten. If mistresses, then a few dozen. If in bed, then you can count the hell ... Well, more than five hundred, per circle.
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- Weird. After five hundred, whether you like it or not, at the instinctive level a filter for the bitch should form. If there is no idiosyncrasy for such people, then they are needed. - I pressed the button to call the waiter and began to leaf through the wine list. A good brandy was needed under the topic of women.
- But in fact, - the friend was clearly interested in the philosophical aspect of the transition from the number of babatrakhs to their quality. - How many women do you need to fuck to find the ideal?
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- The question, of course, attracts the Nobel Prize !!! I think everyone has their own number, only the stages are the same. The stages are the same, the conclusions are not encouraging.
- From the first to the tenth you fuck everyone who gives. - The philosopher began to breed antimony, apothegma was not available to him.
- Usually in this interval they get married for the first time, - putting the knife and fork on the plate "at half past five", I looked into the eastern eyes of the waitress and ordered instead of cognac green tea with a glass of "Becherovka". In a restaurant where Kazakh women work as waitresses, there can be no good cognac by definition, no matter what is written in the wine list.
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- Yes. But getting married doesn't mean having sex with others! - The friend continued to enthusiastically pick the dessert, looking for raspberries and blueberries in mascarpone. - But from the tenth to the twentieth, a certain type is developed, which always stands up.
“This is the first time they get divorced, realizing that having a wife kills the hope of finding an ideal,” I added. A Kazakh waitress brought tea with "Becherovka" and left without picking up a plate with a knife and a fork "at half past five." After all, a good restaurant is defined not only by Olivier.
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- From the twentieth to the thirtieth you understand that in the phrase "I love you ..." all women have an unsaid continuation, - "... for the fact that it is convenient for me to sit on your neck," - homegrown Diogenes characteristically shook his head and lost his head.
- There are many who despair. Remarry and bury themselves in the family's zoo. - I pressed the button to call the waiter again.
- Exactly! After. From the thirtieth to the hundredth, light perversions appear, you switch to FMJ, BDSM and often visit a venereologist, - a friend clearly gave away something from his own experience. Personally, I didn't have BDSM even after the first thousand.
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- After the hundredth woman, you finally stop believing in love and the opportunity to find an ideal. You start to be aesthetically pleasing. Fuck only young ones with an athletic figure, tight tits and a perfect pedicure. Better twins, at worst bisexual girlfriends. - I could only nod in confirmation, my friend continued.
- You know, - he suddenly changed, something forgotten human emerged from the depths and flashed in his eyes, but immediately sank to the bottom. - You know ... After five hundred, satiety comes. A toned belly, plucked eyebrows, long legs are no longer so important. You value more for your ability to suck, listen, and forgive. For confidence and consistency in everything. In good and bad. For predictability. I brought in an unspoiled sixteen year old Thai girl six months ago. I trained for myself according to the “give-bring-…” scheme. But all this is not the case. Not that! There is no soul ... There is nothing to talk to her about.
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- Well, if we talk here we need a drunken peer with children from previous marriages. Hereditary alcoholic with a family recipe for moonshine inherited from her great-grandmother.
- There is one. I sometimes visit her to understand if I did the right thing when I got divorced for the first time. Living with a peer is a constant reminder that you are not a boy either. FIG. I don’t want to grow old! - The friend decisively opened the wine list on the "Cognacs" page.
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“You make the same mistake all the time. You are led to a bright appearance, not noticing unmasking signs. What does nature teach? The more attractive and brighter the form, the more poisonous the content. - I started to press the call button repeating the "SOS" signal. This time the waitress noticed the dirty dishes. My interlocutor ordered the most expensive cognac. Out of curiosity, I did not dissuade him and continued.
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- There is an easy way to distinguish a really normal woman from a bitch. A real woman shouldn't have ... - he took a lunch mat and began to write on it:
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At first.
A decent woman should not have a single expensive branded item. There should not be the latest iPhone and, in general, any item that exceeds the average monthly salary in value. This means that she does not and did not have sponsors before you, who managed to corrupt and spoil.
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Secondly.
Decent must work, therefore, without drawn eyebrows, hair removal to infant fluffiness, complex manicure and other garbage requiring constant adjustments with material and time costs.
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Thirdly.
Should not be tinted red. Redhead, these are reflections of a fire in my head.
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Fourth.
Must not smoke and have never smoked. Smokers always have problems with nerves, and the habit of howling at night with the removal of the brain to others. And those who quit, this is only for a while. Believed from personal experience.
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Fifth.
No large tattoos. I will not explain for a long time. Read The Importance of Tattoos in Diagnosing Mental and Behavioral Disorders. Everything about it is there.
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Everything!
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If you fuck a hundred of these girls, and you have to try, they are not funded for money. Among them will definitely be the one with which there will be something to talk about.
By the way. People who do not have millions in their accounts do just that.
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My friend silently reread what I had written on a napkin. They brought cognac. He took a sip and winced.
- Shit cognac. How is that? This is not Jenssen Arcana !? A hundred-year-old cognac cannot give away like a booze!
- Have you ordered Olivier here for a long time? I asked.
- Never ...
- So where did you get the idea that this is a good restaurant?
- The secretary ordered. Redhead, by the way ... Fuck him with the restaurant. The question is the ideal number of women. That is, you think it's enough to fuck a hundred, guided by your list, and among them there will be an ideal and only one?
- I do not know. Neither you nor I will have the opportunity to verify this. A man who has fucked more than a hundred women will no longer be able to stop at one.
- So let's go to the record for fucking bitches! - The practitioner easily and without regret changed the philosopher.
Well, all I had to do was ask him to introduce him to his secretary, for a long time I haven't had redheads ...
