Why is it important to understand what I really want? Everything That Happens In Life Is The Best That Could Happen # 2 Self-Acceptance Affirmations
“After all, every circumstance -
it is a gift and there is a treasure in every experience. "
Neil Donald Walsh
How well you live your life, in what direction, negative or positive, depends on you.
Skill plays a significant role in this. accept any circumstance: and unpleasant situations, and painful conditions, and social conflicts.
In order to acquire the skill of "acceptance", we suggest that you figure out what it is and how you can learn to accept.
What is acceptance
Acceptance is new level understanding.
This is the understanding that everything that happened to you, for some reason, you need.
Understanding that the problem always comes from within you outward, and manifests itself from within by external circumstances. You get what you broadcast to the World.
The Outside World signals to you, through the situation, for which pay attention to YOURSELF.
Understanding that to accept the situation does not mean accept injustice what is happening in relation to you does not mean submitting to circumstances.
Accept this:
- Agree that the situation has already been created and that you need to move on based on the presence of this fact.
- It’s possible to agree that it’s impossible to change events, but you can understand them differently.
- Find the reason why this situation has arisen in your life, and understand how to act, so that this does not happen to you.
What is important to learn to accept
# 1 Accept yourself
It is difficult for a person to accept himself when he dissatisfied with myself.
Accepting yourself means agreeing with all your strengths and weaknesses. Agree that human being imperfect.
Admit that you have the right to make mistakes that you don't have to be perfect in everything.
And that you don't need to live up to others' expectations of you, no need to please.
# 2 Accept other people
It is difficult to accept others if you do not understand that the people who are hurting you (from your point of view) are in reality are not the source pain.
Through such people, circumstances show you what you need to pay attention to in yourself.
You will not be able to accept the situation with one person, you will blame him, a similar situation will arise with others.
Because the world will signal you “pay attention to the source in Yourself” until you realize the essence of the problem itself.
When you accept the people around you, you realize that people are unfair in relation to others.
At the same time, you do not assess the actions of people and do not condemn them. Do you understand that people can't match your expectations.
Accepting another person can be compared to maternal acceptance. The mother easily accepts the pranks and any actions of a small, unreasonable child.
Acceptance is the ability to understand that a person Will NEVER change.
# 3 Accept the situation (circumstances)
To accept circumstances means to agree that there are things in this life that do not correspond to your vision and perception of the World. What everything has a place to be.
Both what you perceive positively and what is perceived negatively.
Since the concepts of "positive" and "negative" are relative. As well as the concepts “good and bad”, “difficult and easy”, “pleasant person and unpleasant”.
All these qualities are endowed, when is the assessment... And it is not at all necessary that what you liked will please others as well.
Or, what is unpleasant to you is likely to delight others. Because the criteria for assessment and perception are different for everyone.
For example the weather. After all, there are days when she is not pleasant to you. But you accept This fact and don't try to change the weather.
And the fact that, for example, you do not like rain does not mean that all other people do not like this natural phenomenon. There will always be people who like rain very much.
Why Learning Acceptance Is Important
Not accepting, the person thereby spends a lot of energy, energy and time resisting circumstances.
If a person cannot accept the circumstances, he constantly replays what happened in his thoughts, and worries every time on this occasion.
In doing so, the person only destroys itself both emotionally and physically.
It is also important to understand that in your life there will be no less unpleasant situations and disappointments, but having learned to accept, you will thereby begin to act not to harm yourself.
First of all, the ability to accept you personally need, and not to participants in unpleasant events for you.
It doesn't matter what events take place during outside world, it is important how you react to these events.
Rejection can be compared to a poisonous drink that you drink yourself, but expect harm to be done to the “bad” person.
That is, to accept, this is first of all take care of yourself.
Having learned to accept, a person becomes a more harmonious personality. It becomes stronger, calmer, more balanced, free from dogmas and opinions.
Such a person difficult to manipulate.
How to learn to accept
Step 1. Agree "Yes, it happened"
Don't confuse this point with humility.
Acceptance means accepting that the situation is inevitable, that you are ready to drag on the hardships of adversity for the rest of your life. Put up with it obey the circumstances.
And to accept the situation means to agree that it has already happened, but at the same time to understand that there is always a way from any situation, and from this one too. And as a rule, there is more than one way out.
It remains only to find this way out.
Step 2. Find the reason "why it happened"
Each situation contains "Pearl of wisdom".
Think about why this situation happened to you. Realize what's important it flashes to you.
Thank all the participants in the events, do not forget about yourself, for a new vision of what happened.
Step 3. Move on without looking back
For example: you left the house and it is raining outside. You had to go back for the umbrella. You will not be offended and complain about the rain that it is out of place for you.
Even if you purr, you will certainly not hang out in this state for a long time.
Take it for granted and proceeding from this position, another time, before leaving, look out the window and grab the necessary items immediately so that you do not have to return.
3 techniques for adoption
Technique # 1 Inspiration of Acceptance
We offer you a very simple practice for accepting everything and everyone.
It is called Inhalation of Acceptance and is performed in the morning as soon as you wake up.
- Go to the window, greet the new day and declare your readiness accept any events in your life that will happen to you today.
- Ask the Higher Forces to help you and guide you in difficult moments.
- Express intent see depth and wisdom in every step, in every circumstance of the coming day.
- Take a deep INHALATION, gladly accepting all the gifts of this day!
# 2 Self-acceptance affirmations
Want to increase your acceptance of yourself and trust in the world by doing everything 5 minutes a day?
Chakra affirmations will help you. These are simple, and, at the same time, unique practices that will allow you to "pump" important personality traits easily and quickly.
Technique # 3 Wave your hand at everything
At one of the webinars for clients of the Mastery Keys Learning Center, Alena suggested the following practice:
“There is one gesture that difficult moment breaks out in most people.
When you raise your hand up and in your hearts say "Fuck it ..."
We are cultured people, so we will call this gesture "Give up everything."
It means that you pass the decision this situation UP, for example, to your higher self, your mentors, your spiritual teachers.
Instead of to bump into closed doors, enter the semi-meditative state, raise your hand and sharply lower it down.
Thereby you abdicate responsibility for all the grasp of the 3D world and transfer to higher powers for the highest resolution of the situation and the highest good. "
Many wrote after the webinar that the gesture worked in difficult situation... Experiment, too.
And don't forget to keep in focus, what is really important to you.
To prove injustice to you or to take care of Himself?
Family relationships
Lack of knowledge of how to behave correctly in certain situations, misunderstanding of the differences between male and female nature, ignorance of the peculiarities of the male and female psyche, ignorance and failure to fulfill the duties of a husband and wife - all this can create big problems in family relationships, which often happens in modern families.
Vedic and modern culture family relations
As you already understood, the material is taken from the ancient wisdom - the Vedas, or rather, from the lectures of O.G. Torsunov and some other Vedic authors. This article is only general information, short review important points that you can study in detail by listening to the seminar "Family Relations" ...
(fragment continued below - Yu.K.)
audio Yuri Kosagovsky - CONFLICT OF THE SPOUSES* Muzeum Rondizm TV
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT UNDERSTAND IN CONFLICTS
today we will act as we did in your childhood and tomorrow we will act as in my childhood
it is important to understand that the other party who is arguing with you
says everything sincerely and for her all this is important
why?
because as a child the child saw
that they act like this (!) in a similar situation
and the deviation seems unacceptable
and dangerous for development ...
at the same time, everything was different in your childhood
and you perceive inadmissibility just as keenly
do differently as in your childhood
that's the whole situation
- that it is impossible to act otherwise !?
and both are right ...
exit?
there is only one way out so that no one suffers
and did not consider his life ruined
- agree to take turns
today as in your childhood and tomorrow as in mine
- this is also important for the child:
he will learn different behaviors
and will be more armed than if raised by one parent
- he will have options for what to do ...
(in a difficult situation)
=========
continuation
It should be understood that there is a huge difference between the modern and ancient Vedic culture of family or marriage relations, and now this culture is largely lost, which leads to family problems and conflicts. Failure to effectively deal with emerging problems and conflicts is another indicator of loss (lack) of knowledge and wisdom.
How to choose the right partner for starting a family
Choosing the right future husband or wife is the most important thing to do right before marriage. If we choose a person who is incompatible with us, disappointment and suffering await us. IN modern life in many cases, the question of choice is not even worth it - both fell in love and got married. There is no sensible approach to this issue; there is an approach based on feelings, and after a while, one realizes that these feelings, it turns out, are fleeting. Awareness of incompatibility comes after the beginning of life together, when love evaporates.
It would be wise to find out compatibility before the beginning of a relationship, and in any case - before the decision to marry or get married.
Astrological compatibility you can try to study it yourself, but it is better if you have a good astrologer with extensive experience, especially if he specializes in Vedic astrology, and does not deal with consumer goods.
Also plays a very important role mental center compatibility(chakram), which is described in detail in the above lectures. Apparently, most of the relations of the modern degrading world are built on the harmony of the lower centers, which basically means compatibility at the level of sex, etc., while all other compatibility to one degree or another is ignored, which automatically excludes the real happiness of family relationships.
Features of the male and female psyche
It should be understood that the masculine nature is strikingly different from the feminine; female and male psyche are different things. Due to a lack of understanding of this, many conflicts and problems arise in family relationships. Women cannot understand men, men cannot understand women - because they have different natures. Therefore, sometimes they tend to expect the impossible from each other.
In fact, these two natures - masculine and feminine - should complement each other, balance and harmonize. If there is no harmony in the relationship, then either there is a strong incompatibility (and then it is better to leave), or one of the spouses (or both) does not have an understanding of their own nature and the nature of a spouse, and there is also a lack of understanding and / or fulfillment of their responsibilities, which will be a little further.
Marriage and the development of family relations
Marriage is a very serious matter, and more serious for a woman than for a man, and this point should be taken into account by future spouses.
The prosperous and harmonious development of relations depends on each of the spouses - on their knowledge and fulfillment of their duties, initially determined by nature itself. Relationships cannot develop on their own - they need to be built, making efforts on both sides. When that stops, the relationship falls apart.
Responsibilities of the husband and wife
The Vedic texts describe the duties of the husband and the duties of the wife, which are clearly delineated. It's like an instruction to follow. reasonably, because it allows you to build harmonious family relationships, avoiding unnecessary conflicts and problems. Ignorance or failure to fulfill their duties necessarily causes trouble, which can be resolved by returning to fulfilling their own duties.
Features of modern family relationships
Since we live in an era of degradation, few people fully know their responsibilities in family relationships, and they are often confused - the wife does what the husband should naturally do, and the husband does what the wife should do. And even knowing your responsibilities, it can be difficult to fulfill them.
Why is it difficult to get on with your responsibilities? There are many reasons, depending on which side you look at the situation. For example, it interferes with the ego, which manifests itself in the unwillingness to be the first to admit that they are wrong and to begin to act according to their nature. On the other hand, we can say that unworked karma (past lives) "presses", causing wrong (unreasonable, inappropriate) behavior. The long-term habit of doing something other than one's own business also plays a role - it is difficult to change right away like that.
Family relationship problems
Of course, problems arise and need to be addressed. Not the correct approach to this is to blame the spouse (s) for their occurrence. This is a manifestation of unreasonable selfishness, which never leads to a real solution to the problem.
There are no incorrigible situations, and the first thing to do is to properly clarify for yourself your own responsibilities and understand what their failure leads to (see your situation), which is covered in detail in the lectures. And then gradually rebuild, noting for yourself how much life in the family becomes more harmonious.
Regulation of problems in family relationships
Correctly (that is, wisely, wisely) to regulate problems in relationships can interfere with your own selfishness. And there is a simple and powerful remedy for this - the formula for happiness. It does not suit only one category of people - outright egoists who have no chance of becoming happy in this life (just because of selfishness). Everyone else will benefit immensely by applying the happiness formula to their spouse, but there is no need to tell your spouse about it.
If a person, due to his egoism (“I don’t want,” “I will not,” “I don’t believe," etc.) is unable to apply the formula for happiness, perhaps he will be able to work with dualities, which will also significantly contribute to the settlement family problems... In many cases, the technique described in How to Build Relationships can help.
If you cannot solve problems in family relationships on your own, you can turn to a psychologist who has experience in Vedic psychology. Before that, it is advisable to study your responsibilities - you will save time, nerves and money.
Parenting
Who, how (and why) should raise children? What is the role of the father and what is the role of the mother in raising children? Who should raise a boy and who should raise a girl? Not everything is so simple, and there are many important points that I will not mention here either. The upbringing of children determines what this will lead to in the future.
One should not think that the wrong upbringing affects only the fate of children. According to the law of karma, all mistakes made in life, including in raising children, return to us.
The impact of family relationships
Of course, family relationships affect other areas of human life. If there are problems in the family, this in any case will affect the mood and health of a person, which cannot but be reflected in work, in the circle of friends and in spiritual practice. Since everything in this world is interconnected, and family relationships are most of all related to the so-called "personal life", it is better to start regulating your life problems from your personal life.
Whether you will be successful, happy and satisfied with life depends largely on your soul mate. But if you dig even deeper, then, of course, it depends on you - on what and how you do in family relationships.
Carrying out his duties in family relationships, a person gets harmony, which almost automatically puts things in order outside the family. therefore family relations it is worth giving quite a lot of importance.
Family karma
In Vedic lectures, you can often hear that family karma is the most difficult, and this is really so. Family karma combines both the karma of the family in which we grow up and the karma of the family that we create. As a rule, it is much easier to change social circle, job and some other life circumstances, if they do not suit you, than to change the family that we have created. Moreover, it is impossible to change the family in which we were born.
By fate, we were supposed to be born in such a family, to have just such problems - in order to learn how to solve them correctly.
The way out of the trap of family karma is to understand your responsibilities, fulfill them, and pass the exam for "5." And I want to remind you once again that a universal tool that greatly facilitates this task is formula of happiness.
Another way out is enlightenment, which is what this site is about. But it should be understood that working on yourself cannot serve as an excuse for not fulfilling family responsibilities if you already have a family, because this will not contribute to spiritual growth.
Happiness and selfishness in family relationships
In family relationships, happiness depends on the orientation of the life of each of the spouses - to live for themselves (for their own pleasure) or live for others (for the common good - the family and society). Selfish orientation "to live for yourself" automatically postpones the happiness of family relationships, and this is very important point... It is impossible to get family happiness if you want happiness only for yourself, and even getting happiness for yourself turns out to be impossible in this case. Because as soon as you pull the “blanket over yourself”, another (spouse or spouse) automatically joins this egoistic game, who also begins to want to possess the entire “blanket”, that is, to receive happiness only for himself. Remember that happiness and selfishness are incompatible.
The same is true in other spheres - one's own egoism includes the egoism of other people with whom communication or any kind of relationship arises. Yes, your selfishness is also turned on and fueled by the fact that everyone around you is also selfish. Therefore, nobody is happy. There is only one way out of this vicious circle - to get rid of the ego, our own. It is not worth worrying about the egoism of others, their egoism will dry up following the disappearance of their own. The reason for this is very simple: selfishness requires an adversary, an opponent. If you do not have egoism, then the egoism of another person in a relationship with you is unable to survive, since he needs opposition, a game. There is no game - the ego is extinguished. So simple.
It should be understood that you cannot run away from family karma, and as an example of this, many women and men who have divorced, and in their next marriage experience almost the same problems as in the first or the previous one. The person has changed, the problems remain. This once again suggests that nothing in our life is accidental, and we need to learn from our mistakes, correct them - only then the repetitive negative situations stop.
Therefore, there is no need to rush to leave the family and get divorced, in many cases this does not solve problems, but only creates new ones. Immediately you need to see if you are fulfilling all your responsibilities in the family, if you do not live primarily for yourself, if you do not expect more from your spouse than is possible and reasonable.
There are, of course, situations when divorce is the only way out, but more often the reasonable way out is to mend relationships and keep the family, stepping over your ego.
If love is gone, this does not mean forever, and in many cases it can be returned. There are several useful tools and recommendations on this in the article. How to get love back in a relationship... Of course, these are just general guidelines and tools, and they do not obviate the need to study the issue of family relationships in more depth.
Study of family relations, test
And in conclusion, I propose to do a very important test - research or analysis of your family relationships. This happens as you listen to the lectures. Perhaps this will be enough to understand what to do to improve family relations, and start doing it.
As for family counseling, I do not give them for the simple reason that I have too little experience in this area. But, it is quite possible that you will not need them after listening to the lectures. Dr. Torsunov's lectures on "Family Relations" can be downloaded free of charge from the link above, or they can be listened to online on the "Audioologist" website, as well as lectures on family relations by other lecturers.
I apologize that the article came out not very informative, and looks more like an advertisement for lectures, but there is so much material that I would have to do a couple of dozen articles, which does not quite correspond to the general topic of the site. But so much the better for you - listen to a specialist on this issue.
Be happy! =============
look in a magazine on a small screen
Hello! My name is Alexander, I am 25 years old, was born and raised in St. Petersburg. I want to tell you my story about how I faced neurosis, panic attacks and agoraphobia, obsessive thoughts and hippochondria, and how I managed to successfully and almost completely get rid of these unpleasant and useless experiences.
Perhaps I'll start by telling a little about myself and my past, since the roots of all my mistakes in thinking, character and perception of the world around me and myself in particular grow from there:
I was born into a dysfunctional family, an alcoholic mother and a walking father, whom I have never seen, a small room on the outskirts of the city. It was a gift of fate that at the age of 2 years my unlucky mother was deprived of parental rights and the guardians took me to live in a two-room apartment - my current beloved mother and grandmother (her kingdom is heavenly), who passed away this spring at the age of 93 ...
As a child, I was spoiled, overprotected, until recently I lived with my mother in the same room, which also greatly affected my upbringing and character, I was always very suspicious, anxious, overly cowardly, but at the same time a perfectionist and tried to control everything and all in my life. Like everyone else, I went to school, I studied perfectly well until grade 6, but then my grades began to drop rapidly due to my passion for sports, in which I immediately began to succeed and soon I was able to achieve good results, at the age of 17-18 I was already a multiple champion and prize-winner of the city and country championships.
I entered a sports university for a day, but was expelled from the first year for academic failure. On the this moment I am studying in the last year of the correspondence department of the Faculty of Economics, where I entered, as they say, for the sake of a “crust” and in order not to upset my parents, and I still think that I had to choose a humanitarian direction rather than studying the exact sciences and economics (at school I was given the Russian language much easier , literature, history, but I could not enter mathematics, physics, etc.)).
I work as a manager in a small company engaged in design and construction in the field of energy supply, which also does not bring me satisfaction at the moment and in the future I do not see myself in this profession.
In general, the lion's share of tension and experiences in my life is caused by uncertainty and a desire to quickly find myself in this life, resistance to reality and a desire for change, despite the fact that I am very lazy and due to my upbringing, I am not used to taking responsibility for myself and making serious decisions on my own, I'm used to not to solve problems, but to put them on the back burner and avoid meeting with them. In my personal life, I also have nothing definite, I am not married, I have no children and have never had a serious relationship ..
For the last 4 years, I periodically began to drive myself strongly with thoughts that I was seriously ill with something and other obsessive thoughts. First, I was diagnosed with a hernia of the back, which most likely was an ordinary nervous strain, and having gone on vacation in 2011, I forgot about it, but but almost immediately I started having problems with digestion, and due to my super-suspiciousness and anxiety, I began to inflate this problem and wind up almost cancer of everything, I even almost found blood in my stool (before that, our imagination and belief in certain things, even absurd ones, can deceive us and wishful thinking), and constant searches and comparisons of symptoms on the Internet did their job - I found and appropriated everything that was at least a little like my guesses about a "terrible disease"
Already then I had symptoms (tachycardia, pressure) - during an exacerbation of these nervous experiences about my sores, but then I had not yet reached the peak and these experiences did not cross the border and did not result in panic attacks and agoraphobia ... I just didn’t paid attention to them and was only concerned that I had only a few months left to live)))
At the end of 2014, at one of the regular weekend parties, I tried one, as they say, "a light drug". Generally speaking, for the last few years, I have not been ashamed of drinking alcohol on weekends, which helped me become more self-confident and forget about my problems for a while and feel more relaxed and sociable than I really was. But this time it was a little different ... A couple of days of unbridled fun under the influence of drugs and mixed alcohol gave me a lot of wear.
As usual, on Monday I went to work on a small vacation after all drunk and mixed. Sitting in the metro and passing one stop, I suddenly felt an unprecedented feeling of wild fear and panic, a desire to run away from there as soon as possible, as if I had fallen into some kind of hole. The people sitting opposite looked at me and did not understand what was happening to me. I blushed, began to cover my face with my hands, my heart was beating at a breakneck speed and it seemed ready to jump out, it became difficult for me to breathe and it seemed that it was some kind of heart attack and I was about to die ...
Running out at the next stop, I left the subway and walked back home to a friend with whom we spent this crazy weekend. I then thought that this effect of the drug had not yet ended and decided to sit out with him and come to my senses, I was afraid to go home like this, I was afraid that my parents would see that something was wrong with me ... the next two days were just hell - I was afraid to go out on the street, I could not sleep, I ate a whole bunch of sedatives and at night I already wanted to call an ambulance or go to IVs, I had to take time off at work for a few days ..
I was nauseous, every 15-20 minutes I ran to the toilet on a small one, digestion was disturbed, my nerves were like stretched strings and from every rustle I shuddered as if a bomb had exploded next to me.
A few days later, having more or less regained consciousness, I went to work, home and generally recovered a little from the wild horror, believing that I had fully recovered after a destructive party ... but it was not there - the attack was repeated first at work with the boss (I had to say that there was a problem with pressure) - then again in the metro - then already at home lying in bed at night ... I did not understand what was happening to me, my hands were constantly shaking, I was throwing cold sweat on my nerves, my eyelids were twitching, it seemed to me that I was crazy and my brain is permanently and irrevocably damaged from the fact that I tried this ill-fated "soft drug."
I started depersonalization and derealization, everything around seemed somehow unreal to me, I could not keep my attention on something for a long time, I could not read or even watch TV, my body and muscles were constantly in tension, my neck ached, I suffered from insomnia, I drank handfuls of valerian and other blood pressure pills ..
In the end, I remembered that I had a psychotherapist friend and decided to go to him for an appointment. After listening to me, he immediately diagnosed panic attacks, wrote me a couple of prescriptions for antidepressants and some other strong sedative, and said that in a month everything would go away. Having bought all these drugs, something stopped me to immediately start taking antidepressants, most likely after reading reviews on the Internet that after their cancellation it becomes very bad, I was just afraid to start taking the course right away.
On the winter holidays, I planned to fly on vacation and I already had tickets on hand, but naturally, being in such a deplorable psychological state, and even from childhood panicky fearing planes on the day of departure in agony, I handed over the tickets and after a couple of hours of hysterics called a taxi and left for the rest of the holidays at the dacha in the Leningrad region ... so I launched the avoidance mechanism ...
After spending a week at the dacha in depression and a terrible state, I climbed the Internet from morning to evening and looked for ways to get rid of this ailment with the terrible name "panic attacks", talked on the forums, from where my "sick" brain picked up more and more new symptoms and avoidances and began to appropriate them for himself ... one evening, as always, while reading on the Internet information about VSD and panic attacks, I came across the site of Pavel Fedorenko, where there was an opportunity to download a free book-guide to get rid of all my problems.
Literally in a couple of hours, having “swallowed” this book, for some reason I immediately believed everything that was written there and decided to act in this direction .. Something like going to work after the holidays I began to try not to avoid avoidance and follow the advice that I read in the book " Happy life without VSD and panic attacks ”, but naturally, at first, without completely understanding the essence of my problem, I didn’t do much, but that was the beginning of my journey back to normal life without panic, because there is no result without trial and error ..
At that time, I had already begun to avoid so many things and narrowed my life to a tiny “comfort zone” in which it seemed to me that a panic attack would not reach me: I completely eliminated alcohol, coffee, even quit smoking for a short time, but quickly returned to this addiction after visits to a cardiologist who said that “at least you can go into space”)) Later, I also underwent tests and ultrasound of almost all organs, which also did not reveal any pathologies and made me understand that all the problems and symptoms are only in my head. I stopped communicating with friends, avoided meetings with the boss and just business negotiations, often avoided traveling by transport, cinemas and places from which, in the event of an attack, I could not quickly leave ..
Studying the book and videos of Pavel Fedorenko, I gradually began to understand what was happening to me and the level of anxiety subsided a little from around the clock, but I still made a lot of mistakes and only occasionally left the “comfort zone” I had created. At the end of March, I decided to sign up for Pashin's training called “The System of Healthy Thinking”. At first, it was difficult for me to give information and practice, because at that moment I was still looking for a “magic pill” and dreamed of getting rid of the symptoms of VSD and panic as soon as possible, and the brain resisted to adequately perceive the information.
Over time, I got better and better, I began to understand and realize that panic attacks did not arise on their own, I began to understand what led to them and that the root of the problem is really in my thinking, habits and established stereotypes and behavior in life, I began perform the practices that were given in the classroom ..
At the moment, I feel like an almost completely free person. I stopped avoiding coffee, alcohol (though now much less often and not in such quantities as before)), I go to work and communicate with friends, go to the cinema and travel by public transport, I started going to the gym and the pool, I go to the bathhouse once a week, I didn’t take antidepressants and just threw them out along with the recipes a couple of months ago, I visit exhibitions, I go out of town and, in principle, I have no more severe restrictions, except that after my “illness” I didn’t go to other cities and on a plane or the train has not yet sat down, but I am sure that this is all ahead of me, I try not to rush things and accept both my successes and small kickbacks and life difficulties.
It is very important to understand and realize that we all fell into neurosis and the resulting psychological disorders not immediately, our lifestyle and perception of the world around us led us to this dead end, and at the level of thinking that we had before the panic attacks, the problem cannot be solved, panic attacks are just the tip of the iceberg, a signal from the body that we have gone too far and it is time to change something in our life, and that part of the iceberg that is “under water” that is invisible to us is precisely our maladaptive behavior, our wrong reactions to certain events, infantility, irresponsibility, inability to cope with emotions that sometimes disable our nervous system for several hours or even days, a lot of obligations to ourselves and the world around us, in general, inadequate thinking ... you can go in for sports and remove symptoms, but still feel anxious, you can meditate and try to find peace of mind, but still feel uncomfortable in uncomfortable situations s and exciting moments.
In conclusion, I want to say that after a few months I continue to work on myself, I returned to my usual calm state and little, and perhaps it is almost impossible to return me to that chaos in my head that I had in winter, but looking from the outside, as well as with the help of the community in which I am, I understand that I still have a lot of new discoveries in myself to make and a lot to overcome myself before I can become a truly happy person.
I wish everyone who is faced with such a problem as VSD and panic attacks of patience and faith in oneself, not to make mistakes in working on getting rid of them, and a deep understanding of the fact that all anxieties and fears are just thoughts, and only we are our own we create and then blindly believe in them, losing the most valuable thing we have in life - the present moment and real life, let's learn to live in the present and not in thoughts about the past and worries about the future ... all good)
* Note: spelling, punctuation and style of the author are preserved.
Online interview with the President of the SuperJob Personnel House Alexei Nikolaevich Zakharov.
"Hello! Your site's motto: "Work should be fun!" To what extent can you relate this to your activity and what gives you maximum pleasure in your work? Thanks!"
- I can fully attribute this motto to my activities. My work brings me great joy and pleasure!
"If, God forbid, you had to look for a job, how would you do it?"
- Believe it or not: I would post your resume on the SuperJob website! I am sure that I would find a job very quickly.
"Good afternoon! You are doing a good and necessary deed, thank you very much! How did you come up with the idea of creating SuperJob? What prompted? Please tell us how it all began. "
- The history of the creation of the SuperJob portal has already been described several times. You can read it, for example, in the article "Keeper of Vacancies", which was published in the newspaper "Vedomosti" on October 30, 2006.
"Hello, Alexey Nikolaevich, please tell me how long it takes from the moment of registration of the applicant to the moment when he finally finds a job to his liking?"
- The higher the level of the applicant's claims, the longer the search takes. The higher the position you are looking for, the more time it will usually take to find a job. An enterprise director with thousands of subordinates can look for a job for six months or a year, and this is quite normal. A mid-level specialist usually looks for a job from a week to a month, in extreme cases - two. If you are a qualified specialist, and the job search process lasted more than three months, it means that you are doing something wrong ... Meticulously re-read your resume, check the correct location in the sections of the specialties catalog on our website, contact SuperJob Support for help.
“How to look for a job if you have no experience? I just graduated from college and faced the fact that all vacancies have a requirement for work experience. And where can I get it if they don't hire it without it? "
- Almost all large companies today with great pleasure take people without experience - students and newly minted specialists - for internships with further employment. Therefore, if you are looking for a job for the first time, pay attention first of all to the vacancies of large well-known companies - as a rule, work with young people is very well organized in them. Perhaps the salary in medium or small companies will seem more attractive to you, but business processes in small companies, as a rule, are built in such a way that there is no one and no time to teach young people there - hence the demand for experience in their vacancies.
Without work experience, by the way, they will gladly take you to government structures: there people are required almost always - for initial positions. Yes, they often pay little, but this is an opportunity to gain invaluable experience within a year or two, which very often cannot be acquired even in a business environment. And with experience of work in government agencies, they will gladly take you to the private sector.
Pay also attention to the proposals of production (primarily, again, large) companies, while be prepared that the first 2-3 years, while you do not know how, you will be paid less than your classmates who have worked there since the second course.
Keep in mind: if you start looking for a job on your 3rd year, then there will be no problems with employment by the 5th year.
"Do you think there is a need for a targeted employment program for people over 50?"
- I think that such a program is not needed. We need a normal state policy in the field of personnel and population migration, we need real help from the state for those who have decided to change their direction of activity. Moreover, not only 50-year-olds need such activity. Out of almost two thousand questions received, almost a thousand of approximately the following content: “I am old and cannot find a job. What to do?" But there are still about five hundred of them: “I am young and cannot find a job. What to do?" So what's the problem? I believe that objectively such a problem does not exist. Today there are no problems finding a job at any age - the whole question is in the adequacy of the request! If you find it difficult to find a job, then it is most likely not age.
How to look for a job in adulthood? How to look for a job at a young age? First of all, come to SuperJob and carefully read all the materials and recommendations in the section "How to look for a job" Most people who complain that no one invites them for interviews simply do not read our recommendations! To find a job quickly and without problems today, you must first of all understand that a job search is also a job! This is work that needs to be done carefully and scrupulously, methodically studying the rules of the game and the laws of the market. And the higher position you want to take, the better you need to understand this issue - the issue of job search technology.
"What, in your opinion, are the prospects for employment of a qualified specialist of pre-retirement age?"
- The prospects for employment of specialists of pre-retirement, retirement and deep retirement age, if they are qualified specialists, are the most optimistic, since the labor market is experiencing an obvious shortage of qualified personnel. Our experience shows that, regardless of age, a qualified specialist can easily find a job. And if you really are such a specialist, you do not need to be complex and pay attention to what is written in the vacancy, because age there is often written very conditionally. When they refuse because of age, or rather, they call age the reason for the refusal, very often there is some other, objective reason behind this, it is just that it is easiest for a candidate in the "near-retirement" age to refuse, motivating the refusal with this. There is a big problem when a person has not become a professional by retirement age. But even in this case, if you have the strength and desire to work, it is never too late to start from scratch and acquire a new or improve an existing qualification.
"Do you check the companies that post vacancies on your website for ethical business conduct and attitude towards the employee?"
- We cannot do this. We check employers only for the compliance of their activities with the legislation of the Russian Federation. According to the rules for working with our service, employers are prohibited from posting information that contradicts the law, as well as posting vacancies and offering candidates from the SuperJob site database work related to the gambling business, occult and erotic services, making money on the Internet, processing e-mail, conducting mass e-mailing and network marketing.
If you believe that the company is behaving unethically towards you, we advise you to contact the Labor Inspectorate and the court. In 95% of cases, the court resolves labor disputes in favor of the employee.
“Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! I would like to know your opinion on the work of other Internet recruitment sites. What sites could you highlight and do you consider them worthy competitors? P.S.! "
- We have no competitors: we consider everyone to be colleagues, because together we solve an important social task... And we will not say that SuperJob will find you a better job than anyone else. We will be glad if you find a job on another job resource - there are a lot of decent job sites.
I would not like to single out anyone. We, too, sincerely believe that SuperJob is much better than the rest.
“I am a candidate of sciences. When looking for a job, is it a plus or a minus? "
- Yes, that's a plus. But if you want to work as a loader - a minus.
“Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! What does your experience say: are there healthy and decent employers in nature? "
- My experience says that most people are kind and good, including employers. But if you haven't come across such yet, then we have a huge number of wonderful clients - employing companies. Maybe they are looking for you?
“I've been looking for an answer to this question for a long time. Why does such a regularity always arise: the less interesting the job, the more they pay for it, and vice versa? "
- This is not always the case. In your case, apparently, interest in what you are doing decreases, and at the same time your professionalism grows.
“Alexey Nikolaevich! I had to get a job suitable for me using your site several times. Thanks for the support. Do you have any other sites? "
- We have websites. For example, www.obed.ru.
"What's the most difficult thing you've experienced in your career?"
- Hard to say. There were always positive-minded people around me, and all development with God's help was easy enough. Maybe there is still something to go through, but for now, I can say, it's a sin to complain.
“How do you feel about single mothers? Do you think they are capable of doing well? "
- Quite loyal. Single mothers are able to work well, and very often their motivation is much higher than that of women without children or women raising children in a complete family.
"Why do they prefer to take men to leadership positions in our country?"
- I do not know. The Director of the SuperJob Personnel House, Ms. Elena Igorevna Bondaruk, is a lady, and I think that we are very lucky to have such a director.
"What qualities should an applicant have for a vacant position in your company?"
- This should be a positive-minded person. Team player. Man, loving people aimed at personal professional growth.
"How do you feel about the concept of" patronage work "and how to deal with it?
- There is no need to fight this. Indeed, most of the employment to this day happens precisely by acquaintance. But there is no point in fighting this - all means are good when looking for a job, and that too. Use it too.
"Should I call back a potential employer after sending a resume by fax or e-mail in order to make sure that it has been received and considered?"
- Costs. A job seeker's interest in getting a job often influences the choice of employer. All other things being equal, an employer will almost certainly prefer a candidate who has expressed an interest in working for this particular company.
"Please tell us about what you are doing while taking a break from such a useful, necessary and interesting business like yours?"
- For me, the best rest is a sauna or fishing.
“With the growing popularity of the SuperJob site in the virtual space, are you considering opening a land-based office or a network of recruiting agencies under the SuperJob brand? Could this happen? "
- Maybe. We are considering ... Or it may not happen ...
"What does a young specialist need to do to become a professional?"
- The most important thing is to really want to become one.
“Dear Alexey Nikolaevich, do you think that visiting applicants achieve greater results in terms of professional and career growth than native Muscovites, or vice versa? And what, in your opinion, is the reason for this? "
- No, I don’t think so. There are talented people everywhere, and in Moscow they are born no less than in other Russian cities.
Why are the results of HR salary reviews on your site so far behind the reality?
- It is not true. The salary reviews on our website are 100% objective information that fully reflects the realities that exist on the labor market today.
"Good afternoon! Is it realistic to meet civil service vacancies on SuperJob? "
- Is quite real. We have been working with government agencies for a long time and productively, our regular clients are the Federal Tax Service, the Ministry economic development and many other government organizations, enterprises and educational institutions. As of 20.07.07, 768 vacancies of state organizations are posted on our website.
“Is it possible to find a job for a top manager through websites? My experience shows that the owner of even a small company is looking for a manager based on the recommendations of partners, acquaintances and colleagues. How to look for a job for a top who does not have the "necessary" connections or does not want to use them? "
- There are no “tops” who have no connections and have problems finding a job. If you have problems, you need to realize that being just a very good high-class specialist is also very prestigious and honorable, to moderate your ambitions and carefully look for a job that suits you.
"Is it worth talking to the boss about the promotion? wages?»
- Definitely worth it.
“Do you worship cthulhu? say hello? do you have a bear keychain? Will you take me to work? If you do not answer me, I will kill siba apstena ... "
- I don't speak the language - I can't answer.
“Do you have statistics - how much and what quality people find work through your site? I would like to know the number of satisfied people! "
- For 7 years, more than a million people have been employed with the help of our website. From 30 to 50 thousand people are employed monthly. Many of our applicants have already managed with our help to change jobs 2-3 times. Look at the "Success Stories" - there are thousands of them, all real, we did not invent anything.
“Dear Alexey Nikolaevich! For several months now I have been actively using the services of the SuperJob Personnel House. The proposals that they send me are interesting to me, for some of them I send my resume with a request for an answer in case of any decision. However, no messages in response are ever received. The result is a one-sided game. And what should I do next in the case when I sent my resume to the vacancy I am interested in and did not receive a "yes" or "no" in response? Why doesn't the employer bother to give at least some answer? "
- Do not be discouraged and regard such silence as a refusal. If you are very interested in working in an organization that did not bother you with an answer, I recommend that you call and find out the fate of your resume. Indeed, it is not yet accepted to answer all resumes in the practice of modern hr-managers and recruiters, because we still do not have a job search culture and the rules of good manners are not yet applied to this area of our life. Moreover, not only recruiters and hr-s are to blame for this situation, but also the applicants themselves, who send their resumes wherever possible, without especially reading into the requirements of the opposite side. This is how they receive hr-s hundreds of "garbage" letters a day, and in this case, as you understand, it is almost impossible to answer all applicants.
“Why are vacancies in some specialties never published on the Internet? Why are there so few creative jobs on your site? "
- Employment of a person in a creative profession always requires an exclusively individual approach. Any resources - whether Internet portals, newspapers or recruitment agencies - are mainly looking for people for systemic business processes and help creative person with employment can not. Composers, writers, artists and other creative people are piece goods, so their employment depends to a greater extent on themselves and, as it seems to me, very much depends on simple luck in life and the desire to realize oneself. "
“Thank you for the opportunity to ask a question. I am tormented by the following: how to leave an employer without remorse, if he treated you well, taught you everything and gave you a lot. Often, because of attachment to the employer, they stay on the step of a career ... How to overpower yourself and leave the "warm nest"? "
- If you have a really normal relationship with the employer, voice your doubts to the current employer. You will either be understood and released, or you will be offered growth options. The desire to grow is normal, and, believe me, employers most often understand such desires.
“Tell me, Mr. President of SuperJob, are all employers so inadequate? I do my job perfectly, I am responsible for the result, I know and can do a bunch of useful things, but at the same time I don’t like to overexert myself, I’m late for work and sometimes I work out in work time by their own affairs. I am paid little, arguing that my shortcomings. Does the employer really care who works for him, as long as he observes the regime? "
- I don't think your employers are inadequate. And with us, in the "SuperJob" Personnel House, you would hardly have lasted long either ... work in a “team of like-minded people” - in a place where all employees work on a free schedule.
Thanks to everyone who took part in this virtual press conference for interesting questions, warm words and constructive criticism! If you have not found an answer to your question - wait for an answer by e-mail.
It is important to understand that depression or, more correctly, depressive disorder, is a dangerous disease that requires the intervention of a professional doctor. Depression can be triggered by a variety of factors, some of which are physiological and some are psychological. Here are 5 of the most dangerous habits that can lead to depression.
Lack of exercise
Physical activity has a beneficial effect on human health, including mental health. Their absence can lead to depression. People who stay at home all day become lazy and / or eat too much. This lowers self-esteem. In addition, when you run into any embarrassment in life, the idea of playing sports is the last thing that comes to your mind.
Lack of sports or other adequate physical activity reduces the production of "joy hormones" in the brain - dopamine and serotonin. Accordingly, when you find yourself face to face with a sad event, the likelihood of falling into depression will be significantly higher for you. In contrast, 40 minutes of exercise a day raises blood levels of these hormones to above average levels.
Improper nutrition
Healthy eating is important not only for the body, but also for the mind. Polyunsaturated omega-3 fats are essential for proper brain function. These fats cannot be created by the body on its own, so you need to make sure that they get into it with food, otherwise the risk of depression increases.
Most omega-3 fats are found in bushmeat, fish, and seafood. As a last resort, you can use food additives is better than nothing. They can also help keep the brain in good shape.
Lack of sleep and stress
If you constantly keep yourself awake, you are driving yourself into depression on your own. Doctors recommend sleeping at least 7-8 hours a day. To make it easier for yourself to fall asleep, never go to bed with your tablet or laptop in hand.
Lack of sleep makes a person more nervous and more prone to paranoid moods. All of this becomes the basis for depression. In addition, people who sleep little work worse, and this provokes conflicts with their superiors and new stress. Appreciating sleep will help you avoid depression.
Loneliness
Artificial isolation alone is one of the surest paths to depression. By isolating yourself from family and friends, you set yourself the stage for almost any mental illness... Scientists have shown that people with a more developed and extensive network of contacts are less prone to depression.
Heavy meditations
Heavy thoughts are also among the main causes of depression. Constantly thinking about failure, failure, or loss is dangerous. There are things in this world that are beyond our control, and therefore it is best not to think about them a lot. Thinking about them can lead not only to depression, but also to madness.
You can talk your problems out loud with loved ones (remember point 4). If there is no one to talk to, then write down the problems on a piece of paper and throw it away or burn it - this symbolic gesture helps to feel inner freedom. 
