When a woman deserves a slap Slap: How Men Really React to It
You need to defend your boundaries. This can be done in the feedback form. That is, you need to immediately tell him that what he did is not acceptable and that if he does this at least once, there will be serious consequences.
If you are having a strong emotional quarrel, and you tell him this, then he may not really hear you, since his mind is already blocked by various emotions that are raging in him.
Therefore, I would definitely return to this topic and talk when your man comes to his senses. Then, if I were you, I would have had a very serious conversation with him about not being hit. What if he does it again then, for example, you leave him. You need to explain that he crossed a serious line with his action.
This conversation should be done in the form of an open dialogue, which I talk about in many videos and articles. This is when, in a respectful manner, you tell your loved one what you feel and what you want from him, what you lack, and invite him to the same thing, share your thoughts and feelings in the same way. The purpose of such a dialogue is not just to say what you need, but also to hear the other person and what is happening to him.
Therefore, during your conversation about a slap in the face, you need to help the man open up, so that he says what happened to him, what prompted him to physically abuse you. Ask questions such as “I'm trying to figure out what happened, what did you hit me?” In a respectful manner. What happened? What did I do that made you hit me? What did you think will happen next? What did you want to do with this? "
Your goal in this dialogue is to raise awareness of what actually happened, what drove him to physical violence. These are most likely some of your actions and some of his perceptions. All this you need to respectfully discuss and feel, and perhaps more than once.
Otherwise, you will not have a lesson from this whole situation. If you work it out correctly together, then most likely he will never hit you again. He will feel the pain and fear that was in you, understand and realize what he did and how destructive it is. He will have a disgust for the very behavior - a punch in the face, and he simply will not do it anymore.
But, this is all based on the fact that your fault in the whole situation is minimal and that he does not have a serious mental disorder. For example, if he is a narcissist with a highly distorted perception of reality, in his family his father beat his mother or something like that, then for him hitting you may be normal behavior. Then it will be even more important to have a conversation about the fact that this is far from normal behavior for a relationship with you. And most likely you will have a lot of such conversations if he is a narcissist with aggressive habits.
There is another option, this is if you had a quarrel and you yourself began to beat him. This also often happens, a woman begins to beat a man, a man suffers for several minutes, turns away from the blows, but then patience runs out and he strikes back.
The purpose of such a blow is to stop the woman's blows.
Here the woman suddenly “wakes up” and is very offended by the man. How is it that “He hit me!”, When for 10 minutes in a row she beat him to the fullest.
I had one such relationship for a very long time.
During the quarrels, the girl began to let her hands go and began to hit me hard on the body. I tolerated this for several minutes and dodged, but then I pushed her very hard and she crashed into the wall. After that, she was very much offended by me, for the fact that I pushed her away and hurt her.
My goal was to stop her physically abusing me, as words didn't work. And she thought that her physical abuse was normal behavior, and my response to stop her abuse was not.
It is not surprising that this girl was severely beaten by her mother as a child. Remember that the child usually copies the behavior, thoughts and emotions of the parents.
Well, here it is clear that this relationship did not last even a year, I left her quickly enough after several such quarrels.
Therefore, look at your behavior too, not only at what he did. This will help you understand what is what in the situation.
Your goal is not to "take revenge" on the man after he hit you, but to psychologically work out this situation with him.
Make it a form of open dialogue that heightens awareness of everything that happened - for both of you!
And most likely you will have to do several such dialogues, since one or a couple of dialogues are usually just starting the process of elaboration.
Then both of you will move to a new, higher level of consciousness, and the higher the level of consciousness, the less aggression towards each other, the happier the relationship.
For my other thoughts on this topic, see my video at the beginning of this page, and ask any questions below in the comments.
A woman who slapped a man with her palm in the face, and even publicly, is a very rare phenomenon for Russia. But is it a sign of a woman's hatred of a man?
Here you can judge in two ways.
Firstly, the phenomenon itself, as such, means that if this happens, then apparently it is not without reason, and one should look for the reasons, in this case, as a result of strong emotional excitement.
What, after all, prompted a woman to raise her hand to a man's face?
Psychologists assure that this action did not happen spontaneously. Most likely, the slap was planned in advance. Something was accumulating inside, and then it burst.
Perhaps it was a payback for treason, perhaps there was another reason, but the woman was most likely sure that she would not receive the same slap in the face in return, but more severe - from a tough male hand.
But a woman will never resort to such a step, unless the man inflicts a great offense on her. Especially if she trusted him strongly and loved with every fiber of her soul.
Maybe the woman relied on the fact that, having received a slap in the face, he would apologize to her, or feel guilty (the sword does not cut a submissive head).
But it may happen that it is a slap in the face that will put everything in its place in their relationship, and a man will only gratefully accept this “punch in the face”, realizing that she (the woman) lets him go on all 4 sides.
But a smart man will understand that she still loves him, and with her slap in the face she would like to say: "Come to your senses, what you are doing."
Alas, there are families where the head of the family is henpecked. And with such a gesture (a slap in the face), the woman, as it were, compels him to submit to her demands: take out the trash from the house, nail down the shelf, go to the store for bread. This is one of the elements of influence on the henpecked, who at the very beginning of the creation of the family took the position of the weak.
But the moment will come when a weak-willed man will start to get bored with such "cuffs" and "cuffs", and he will go to another woman, from whom he will feel affection. And it is by affection that she will achieve that he will go to the store for bread without any reminders, and take the garbage out into the street.
In modern Russian society, such a phenomenon as harassment is gaining popularity - a man's harassment of a woman, especially if this is a “high” boss. A woman is simply put in a situation where the situation becomes hopeless: either to fulfill the requirements of the boss (of a sexual nature), or to be left without work.
Rarely can a woman afford to lose her job, but she can afford to publicly slap her boss, a tyrant. And he will not fire her, because she can tell her wife about his adventures.
Most likely, after such an incident, the boss will leave her alone and begin to bypass her, although she will lose the bonus - forever. And over time, it is possible, and work.
And here's the funny thing: such cases also happen with men who work under the subordination of women. If such a boss wants to take a handsome man out of the family, she will stop at nothing. Even children, who are in families of two or three, will not embarrass her.
If a man refuses to leave the family and move to her, everything ends with his dismissal. But in parting, she will still slap him in the face.
The patriarchal-conservative understanding of the intimate and everyday relationship between a man and a woman, which exists in society, between a man and a woman, nevertheless gives a man more rights and fewer responsibilities than a woman, and each "office romance" can end in different ways.
A slap in the face of a man from a woman is an exclusively European behavioral practice that dates back to the times of chivalry. It is directly related to honor and dignity and is a kind of protection for a woman, but only if she is not answered with a slap in the face. And what happens to the people themselves at this time?
General social satisfaction
A slap in the face is a blow with an open palm directed from top to bottom. Winfried Speitkamp, a renowned German historian who heads the Department of Modern and Contemporary History at the State University of Kassel, Germany, believes that this gesture is based on a kind of "overturning of the hierarchy." A man is always power, even if only his own wife is subject to him. A slap in the face has a symbolic character of delegitimation, exposure of any act, giving it openness and publicity. This status is retained today, if a man is, as they say, a gentleman. Winfried Speitkamp in his writings draws attention to the fact that a slap in the face is not only the protection of women's honor in its traditional sense, but also in the general social sense. As evidence, he cites a fact from 1968, when German journalist known for her struggle to expose the Nazis, Beata Klarsfeld, publicly slapped Federal Chancellor of Germany Georg Kiesinger. The leader of a democratic country, in his youth (in 1933) he worked in the Ministry of Propaganda of the Third Reich. By hitting an official of such a high rank, Beata Klarsfeld drew public attention to the fact that the state is run by the same people as under National Socialism. At the same time, the woman, according to her, first experienced resentment, and then emotional satisfaction. By publicly humiliating the chancellor, the journalist actually "overthrew" the government. Then Kiesinger, holding his cheek in tears, said nothing. Klarsfeld was sentenced to prison for this, but due to public pressure, he was replaced with 4 months of probation. A year later, Georg Kiesinger's political career ended.
Sexual Desire
A slap in the face, as an action on the part of a woman, is a reaction to disappointment and a breakdown of the ideal norm in the face of real life. This was the opinion of the outstanding French psychoanalyst, philosopher and psychiatrist Jacques Lacan. Ideally, a man should guard the honor of a woman, or at least respect her. Encroachment beyond the boundaries of what is permitted, since the formation of a noble society, is "punished" with a slap in the face. A woman who has thus “overturned” the power of a man over herself, at such a moment experiences not only satisfaction. According to medical research conducted by French psychologists, the hormone dopamine is released in her blood. It affects the emotional state, increasing concentration and determination. But above all, it is a short-term pleasure hormone. Accordingly, a woman who decides to slap a man then subconsciously realizes that she needs him as a sexual partner capable of giving pleasure.
From the man's side, a slap from a lady looks different. Jacques Lacan called the "elusive" woman the main object of a man's sexual desire. And the more she “slips away”, the more passion flares up in a man. Intending to possess the desired object at any cost, a man receiving a slap in the face, depending on the situation, considers it in two different aspects. The first is failure and failure. In this case, from a medical point of view, an excess of the hormone adrenaline arises in the man's body, which often provokes an attack of acute fear. Sometimes it lasts from a few seconds to half an hour, and at this moment a person can commit rash actions. Trying to cope with panic and prove to himself superiority over the object, a man can physically abuse the person who introduced him to this state. Another option is the release of adrenaline, provoked by a slap in the face, in a chain, activates other hormonal glands, forcing them to work in an enhanced mode. This leads to the release of the hormone vasopressin into the blood from the hypothalamus. It stimulates the reabsorption of water in the renal tubules, causes vasoconstriction and increases blood pressure, which instantly affects the occurrence of an erection. In such a situation, a man who is not capable of self-control may commit sexual violence against a woman. A man who knows how to control himself, realizes the woman who struck him as the most desired object and, having coped with an attack of passion, in the future, often plans more active and sophisticated methods for possessing the desired object.
Got a slap in the face? A girl who slaps a man automatically loses her status of the weaker sex and acquires the status of a sparring opponent? Give a slap in the face or what to do in this situation?
Your chances of getting a classic slap in the face are good enough. According to research, about 40% of people slapped. Of these, 70% of the hitters were girls and only 30% were men.
Is the girl a girl before her first blow? And then she's a sparring partner? A girl who allows herself to raise her hand to a man is taking a rather serious risk. After all, a man is much stronger, more aggressive and more dangerous. Can't beat women? But this is more of a rule, but there are exceptions. What to do? It can be very offensive for a man to receive a resounding slap in the face that is not in the business.
A slap or slap in the face is a blow to the cheek with the palm of your hand. A slap in the face is considered a serious personal insult, an expression of extreme contempt and respect. In the Middle Ages, a slap in the face between people of the same sex led to a duel. Now a slap in the face between men ends in a fight, as well as between women. But what if your opponent is of the opposite sex?
The Gospel says: "Turn the other one to the one who struck you on the cheek ..." But this is not always possible. What if you get slapped in the face?
1. You were slapped in the face by an unfamiliar girl
A drunk person, an angry woman in a transport or an occasional boor on the street. Any of them can slap the stronger sex. A man can easily hit her back, but this, in most cases, is dangerous. It could end up with a fight and the police. Law enforcement agencies can often side with women.
If the attacking woman is drunk, but what to call her after that, it is better to call the police. Let him spend the evening at the monkey house, reflecting on his behavior. Sometimes you can push or twist by force, protecting the bully. You can threaten a girl to turn her into a sparring partner. Making it clear that she'd better stay away, the girl will calm down. If not, then it's up to the law enforcement agencies. In extreme cases, you can slap the woman back.
The woman attacking you is very wrong and there is no urge to endure? You can do as Anna Yanchenko writes in the book "Underdog":
“I miss her first slap in the face with that special equanimity with which men buy tampaxes for their wives in pharmacies. Mushroom papillae in the epithelium of my tongue pick up the taste of sodium chloride. Broke my lip, bitch. After the second slap in the face, invisible, like Keira Knightley's chest, a tear moistens the front surface of my eyeball and conjunctiva. I think enough. Without waiting for slap number three, I hit the girl in the face ... "
2. You were slapped in the face by a familiar girl
"One slap in the face is worth more than a dozen lectures - it brings up so quickly, especially when it is applied by a small, plump woman's pen teaching us" Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
Is the girl you're dating stabbing you? Maybe for the cause? If the degree of your guilt is obvious and deep, then it is better to silently accept a slap in the face. After that, you should calm down your girlfriend by hugging her and asking for forgiveness.
The girl gave a slap in the face, even though it was her own fault? You can't beat girls, especially your own. If you disagree with her behavior and aggression, then you can try to intercept the girl's hand and avoid a slap in the face. You can twist the girl and hug her tightly. When the girl herself is to blame, it would be better to spank the girl like a child in the butt. It won't hurt, but it will hurt. A smart girl will understand, but it is better to get rid of a stupid one.
