How to resist pressure from officials. Verbal aggression and psychological pressure: how to fight back a boor or a manipulator. Types of communication manipulations
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What is psychological pressure and how to resist it in life and at work?
For the five hundredth time reproach yourself for succumbing to another provocation and suffering? For not getting out of the role of an errand boy in five years? For the fact that you were going to do one thing, and now, thanks to pressure from your colleagues, you are again doing something incomprehensible? You should know - you are being influenced.
What is psychological pressure on a person
People are not able to coexist peacefully: if they do not fight with machine guns for the sake of "oil, sea, snow", then they arrange psychological wars. Moreover, it is not known what is worse - in America alone, victims of moral bullying at work commit suicide more often than for any other reason. And therefore, as in the physical plane, many guys and girls specially attend courses in combat self-defense, and in the social plane, it is simply vital for everyone to learn how to resist psychological pressure - this is possible.
Because: “No one is capable of offending you without your consent” E. Roosevelt.
Bitter, but true - if psychological pressure can be exerted on us, then we ourselves allowed it. And even if you are threatened, always remember that the empty barrel is thundering loudly, and the dog that barks is not going to bite yet. Usually, real criminals do not threaten - they quickly get down to business, and if there are threats, then they are trying to negotiate with you. But if you have to withstand psychological pressure, but there will be no reprisals for refusal, you can safely resist manipulators.
How to overcome psychological pressure at work
But the situation is more complicated. The most unpleasant thing that can happen during a career is office. Those. psychological pressure on a person (most often on a beginner), in order to force him to write a letter of resignation. Many companies do this with pregnant women that do not want to pay maternity payments, they do this with a new employee who does not like the team, they do this with those who do not behave correctly. But the methods are mostly the same: insults, set up, reporting false information to the authorities, complete ignorance, and much more.
Here it is already useless to try to wage a war or attack the aggressors in response - if a scandal breaks out, the boss is unlikely to understand squabbles: who is right and who is wrong. That is why in most foreign firms in such situations, two are fired at once - without understanding the situation. But in Russia so far there is no such practice, and therefore will have to act alone.
So, in order to resist the psychological pressure at work, first you need to determine which of the team is most respected by the management, whose opinion is trusted - with those and to establish good relationship... After all, not everyone is capable of mobbing - anyway, some part of the team is simply silent, and someone sympathizes in their souls, but does not openly express their doubts. It is with these that first of all it is necessary to establish a good connection: joint dinners, projects, evenings. And gradually the social circle will expand (if you - good man) until two or three main offenders remain on the sidelines. And without the support of the crowd, they won't last long.
It is worse if the boss himself is engaged in mobbing. For example, to remove a person from office. Then, if there is a desire to fight, and the nerves are strong enough, the right way is to pretend to be a “hose”. Those. pretend that you do not understand why suddenly there are so many claims against you, because before everything was fine - not to give out until the very end that you realized that you are simply being survived. And not every chef is able to tell a person “go away” if he is not guilty of anything. And such "inhibition" of a subordinate confuses him. You just refuse to play his game, and not everyone is brave enough to call a spade a spade. As a result, there is a possibility that you will be left alone and taken care of by a more “smart” subordinate.
How to fight back a professional manipulator
But the easiest thing is to fight back the real manipulator. Amazing, isn't it? Of course, for a person who is not familiar with psychology, it is almost impossible to do this. But here we will reveal the secrets.
So, any manipulation - complex or simplified - is always based on the principle S => R, which means "a stimulus leads to a reaction." And the whole psychology of a manipulator when putting pressure on a person is based on the knowledge of the typical reactions of people to certain stimuli. And they manipulate these reactions, imperceptibly forcing a person to do something against his own will. Resisting such influence is not as difficult as it seems - the main thing is to do it right: not to give out the reaction that is expected - on purpose. Those. if they try to make you cry, laugh or make a joke. If they are joking, get angry. If a person is being slandered, abruptly refuse the conversation. And without the necessary strings to pull, the manipulator will not be able to do anything - this is an excellent protection against psychological pressure and emotional attack.
Study psychology, develop as a person, learn to give psychological rebuff - in our world these are invaluable skills.
Psychological pressure is the influence exerted by one person on other people in order to change their opinions, decisions, judgments, or personal attitudes. It is carried out by far from the most honest and correct, from the point of view of humanity, methods. But, unfortunately, everyone can face it.
Compulsion
Psychological pressure can manifest itself in various forms. Coercion is one of those. This is the most impudent and unprecedented attempt to influence another person. This method is inherently the unlawful use of mental violence.
From the outside, its application looks like an informational impact on human consciousness. Which may be accompanied by threats of physical violence. But these are extreme cases.
Most often, the moral rapist operates with other "trump cards". It can be his power, money, influential status, compromising data. Some try to destroy their victim. Words are spoken that obliterate the dignity of a person and trample his self-confidence in the mud. Actions can be of a similar nature.
Others follow compulsive tactics. It consists in the deliberate moral torture of a person by various methods.
How to react?
This type of pressure is very difficult to resist. But it is possible (with due desire). The most important thing is to clearly define for yourself the goals that the abuser is trying to pursue. You need to understand what he wants. And after that, act exactly the opposite. Only without letting him know that the confrontation is on purpose. He must perceive the confidence of the one whom he is trying to make "the victim" as a character trait. In the end, the failed moral rapist will leave the person alone. Since he will understand that he will not achieve the intended goal.
But only if he is obsessed with her, then he will have to gain patience and fortitude. Because the abuser will not just lag behind. Before that, he will try all sorts of methods. If the situation is too uncomfortable, it is better to get away from it. In the truest sense of the word - to break all contacts. But because of the persecution, which may well begin if the abuser is fanatical, you can contact the police.
Humiliation
With the help of it, pressure is also often carried out. Psychological humiliation is aimed at morally "crushing" a person. Every word is used that can indicate its inferiority, inferiority and insignificance. But how is it possible to influence a person in this way? After all, he, on the contrary, must accept any request or order "with hostility", being angry at what he heard! Yes, it makes sense. But in reality it happens differently.
Insults lead a person into a state of a certain prostration. It is felt even physically - it starts pounding in the temples, breathing quickens, and the heartbeat gives off somewhere in the throat. A person is absorbed by resentment, mixed with bewilderment, anger, and other adrenaline-inducing feelings.
This is understandable. After all, humiliation seriously affects the well-being of a person. Because self-esteem is the highest moral value. Even in Maslow's pyramid, it is at the fourth level.
So, at the moment when a person is enveloped in a state of resentment, the same aggressor who provoked the incident takes an opportunity to put pressure on him: "Are you at least capable of doing this?"
Such a phrase literally brings you out of trance. Of course, being in a normal state, a person would instantly wave it off. It's only in such a situation that the psychological defense mechanism is activated. At a subconscious level, a person wakes up a desire to prove his worth and convince the offender that he was mistaken about him. And he grabs onto the assignment. But this was what the offender needed.
Confrontation
Since psychological pressure is quite successfully carried out through humiliation, it is necessary to talk about an effective way of dealing with this influence.
So, you need to remember that this method works only with those people who are not confident in themselves. A self-sufficient person will only laugh at the attempts of some unsuccessful aggressor to influence with groundless insults. They just won't touch him.
Therefore, you need to become such a self-sufficient person. Any rude word should turn into a kind of signal reminding a person that it is time to activate protection and not succumb to provocations.
In my soul, of course, a storm can rage. But the appearance should disarm the aggressor as much as possible. A relaxed, uninterested look, an occasional yawn, a free posture, a slight grin - this look will hint to him about his unsuccessful attempts to force a person to do something with such a nefarious method. And when he finishes groveling, you can drop a simple indifferent phrase that will baffle him: "Did you say everything?" Or alternatively: "I heard you." Or you can limit yourself to just one word: "Good." It is not necessary to completely ignore the offender. After all, he knows that the person is not deaf, which means that he hears him. And if he is silent, then, most likely, he simply does not know what to answer. So there must be at least one reaction.
Suggestion and persuasion
This is a more subtle method of exerting psychological pressure. Not everyone owns it. After all, you need to be able to influence someone else's consciousness, provoking an uncritical perception of attitudes and beliefs.
In addition, such manipulators master the word. They are empathic, observant, and know exactly what needs to be said to this or that person, so that he himself, under his influence, redesigned his attitudes. Such people skillfully play with the subconscious of the "victim". They use intonation, perceived friendliness and frankness, empathy, and many other semi-conscious ways.
A striking example can be considered all the well-known fraudulent online schemes - one-page sites that colorfully describe some kind of "innovative" method of earning, which becomes available to the user after replenishing his own account (hereinafter allegedly needed by him) to a certain, "purely symbolic" the amount. These resources are headed by videos, which are built on the same principle. A certain person first mentally tells his story about how he went from rags to riches, and then switches to the user - begins to say that he is worthy better life, and he should think about himself, family, children, parents. He does not lose anything - some five thousand will pay off almost in the first 10 minutes of system activation.
Surprisingly, this kind of psychological pressure works. The words of the "orator" touch the quick, penetrate the soul, make me believe, motivate. But, of course, only he benefits from this.
And this is just one example. In life, this is also very common. And if on the Internet you can simply force yourself to close the page, then in reality you have to resist.
Manipulation
Often, psychological pressure on a person is exerted through this particular method. Manipulation involves the use of violent, deceptive or covert tactics. And if in the case of humiliation or coercion a person understands that he is being attacked, then in this situation - no.
A manipulator who promotes his interests at the expense of other people knows how to hide his true face, aggressive behavior and bad intentions. He is well aware of the psychological vulnerabilities of the "victim". He is also cruel and indifferent. The manipulator is not worried that his actions may harm the one whom he perceives as his "pawn".
Psychological pressure on a person is manipulated in various ways. Psychologist Harriet Breaker, for example, has emphasized five main points:
- Positive reinforcement is imaginary empathy, charm, praise, apology, approval, attention, flattery, and sycophancy.
- Negative - promises to get rid of an unpleasant, difficult and problematic situation.
- Partial reinforcement is the encouragement of a person to perseverance, which ultimately leads him to failure. A striking example is the casino. The player may be allowed to win several times, but in the end he will go down everything to a penny, getting bogged down in excitement.
- Punishment - intimidation, abuse, an attempt to impose a sense of guilt.
- Injuries are one-time outbursts of anger, hysteria, insults, and other examples of frightening behavior aimed at frightening the victim and convincing him of the seriousness of the manipulator's intentions.
There are also many other ways. But, however, whatever they are, the manipulator's goal is always the same - to gain personal gain and achieve the set goal.
How to avoid manipulation?
It is also worth giving a short answer to this question. There are a lot of recommendations and advice on how to resist the psychological pressure carried out through manipulation. And no matter which of them a person listens to, he will always have to do the same thing - to keep the situation under his control.
He needs self-confidence, self-control, healthy distrust and mindfulness. It is very important to notice the beginning of the manipulation in time. It is easy - a person will feel pressure on his weak points.
It still doesn’t hurt to get into the habit of analyzing what’s happening. And it's not just about studying the behavior of potential manipulators. A person, in addition, needs to take a closer look at his goals, dreams and plans. Do they really belong to him? Or were these attitudes once imposed on him, and he now follows them? All this needs to be well thought out.
How to resist psychological pressure? You need to become critical. And visually unapproachable. Manipulators always count on quick results. You can't give it to them. Each proposal or request must be answered: "I'll think about it." And it really doesn't hurt to think. In a calm atmosphere, without any pressure, it will be possible to "probe" the request from the inside and understand whether the person really needs help, or if he is just trying to benefit for himself.
And if a decision is made to refuse, it is necessary to express it in a firm form, showing character. Hearing an uncertain "No, probably ...", the manipulator will begin to "break" the person. This cannot be allowed.
By the way, do not hesitate to show your emotions to the "puppeteer". This will convict him, and he will lag behind. You can get by with a simple phrase, like: "I don't owe you anything, but because of your persistence I feel ungrateful!"
Turning to the law
It is important to note that even the criminal code contains information about psychological pressure on a person. It will not be superfluous to open and scroll to article 40 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. It is called “Physical or mental coercion”. And this is a direct reference to what was said at the very beginning. Only here everything is more serious.
We are talking about crimes committed by people under the pressure of the aggressor. The first paragraph of the article says that harm caused to interests protected by law is not considered an offense. But only if the person could not direct his actions at that moment. Let's say he was coerced at gunpoint, or holding one of his relatives at gunpoint.
But what if it was psychological pressure on a person? Article 40 in this case refers to the previous one, number 39. The issue of criminal responsibility for committing a crime under mental influence is decided taking into account its provisions.
Article 39 is called "Urgent Necessity". It says that a crime is not such if it was committed in order to eliminate the danger that threatens a person or other people directly.
However, this is not all that is said in the Criminal Code. Psychological pressure is also mentioned in article 130. It notes that humiliation of the dignity and honor of another person, expressed in an extreme form, is punishable by a fine of up to 40,000 rubles, or three months' salary. In especially difficult cases, 120 hours of community service or 6 months of correctional work are prescribed. The maximum punishment is restriction of freedom for up to 1 year. Very serious consequences of psychological pressure.
The article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation also states that an insult expressed publicly (through the media, in a speech, in a video message, etc.) is punishable by a double fine. The maximum punishment is 2 years of restriction of freedom.
In the case of children
Psychological pressure on a child is an even more serious topic. Everyone knows how weak and fragile consciousness is in children (the majority, in any case). It is extremely easy to influence them. And we are not talking about healthy pressure, which cannot even be called such (“If you don’t take the toys away, I won’t talk to you” - impact through guilt). This refers to the most real compulsion to something, the child's attack (psychological).
The pressure of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation in this case defines as "Failure to fulfill the duties of education." This is article 156. Moreover, the provisions apply not only to parents, but also to employees of educational, social, educational and medical organizations. Abuse is what psychological pressure is equated to. The article also prescribes the punishments. This can be a fine of 100,000 rubles, compulsory work (440 hours), the elimination of the right to hold a certain position, or imprisonment for three years.
But, of course, cases rarely come to court proceedings. The article of the Criminal Code characterizes psychological pressure in a specific way, but in life it is found in a different manifestation.
Many parents simply unceremoniously interfere with the child's space, brutally control his every step, forcing him to do what he does not like (go to the boxing section when the kid wants to dance, for example). Some are sure - if you point out to him the shortcomings, then he will correct them. But this is not the case. Not all adults with a stronger psyche and mind, this works. And the child will completely withdraw into himself, starting to doubt his own strengths and abilities, and constantly feeling guilty, it is not clear why. Parents, exerting oppressive influence, thus reflect their own experiences and fears. But in the end, they become enemies of their child, not allies. Therefore, upbringing issues must be approached very responsibly. The birth and personal formation of a new member of society is a huge responsibility and serious work.
Labor sphere
Finally, I would like to talk a little about psychological pressure at work. Indeed, most often it is in the labor sphere that a person is faced with this phenomenon.
First of all, you need to understand that the organization in which a person works is just a structure. In which everyone takes their place, and performs certain tasks. And the relationship between colleagues should be appropriate, business-like. If someone suddenly tries to put pressure on a person to serve (change, do the dirty work, go out on the weekend), you need to refuse with dignity - a little coldly, but as politely as possible. You cannot put the interests of strangers above your own. Especially if they have the courage to come up with such demands.
The only exceptions are cases when a colleague really needs help. By the way, there is no need to be afraid of gossip, rumors, gossip or attempts to "sit up". A person must remember that he is a professional first of all. His skills and performance won't get any worse from evil tongues. And with the boss, if he is interested in the topic, you can always explain yourself.
It is much worse if the "attacks" come directly from the boss. And there are such leaders who are only happy to exert psychological pressure on a person. The article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation here, of course, will not serve as an information aid, but the provisions of the Labor Code are quite.
Most often, ordinary workers are faced with insistent "requests" from their boss to apply for dismissal of their own free will. This contradicts Article 77 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, since such actions exclude the employee's freedom of expression. And a person has every right to go to the prosecutor's office to open a labor dispute, or go straight to court. But evidence obtained without breaking the law will be required. They are needed, by the way, in any case, whatever the complaint.
Summing up, I would like to say that the topic of psychological pressure is indeed very detailed and interesting. It contains many more nuances and important points... But with them, if you wish, you can get acquainted with them individually. Knowledge of this nature is never superfluous.
Psychological pressure - everyone has faced this. It is worth giving a little slack, as the one who has at least the most insignificant powers begins to abuse them with might and main. We, on the other hand, almost always act as if automatically, over and over again playing out ineffective scenarios - escape or.
William Shakespeare wrote: "You can upset me, but you cannot play on me." Apparently, the master of English poetry and drama had reason to say so. Even if the greatest geniuses meet with attempts to manipulate them, this cannot be avoided by us mere mortals.
What is psychological manipulation
Manipulation is a latent influence on another person, with the help of which there is a change in his initial attitudes, behavior, perception. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the main goal of psychological influence is the benefits the aggressor needs. Since with the help of this influence the manipulator satisfies his interests, this type of behavior is considered unethical. Manipulations aimed at satisfying the interests of the victim are extremely rare.
Psychological pressure is a common problem, especially in the post-Soviet space. Many do not disdain them - from the boorish saleswomen in the store, and ending with the traffic police inspectors. The first thing to do if you find yourself in such a situation is to track your emotional reaction and try to stop it (no matter how difficult it may be).
Often from psychologists, you can hear a recommendation to count to ten, try to regulate your breathing, and relax your muscles. However, this does not always help, as, indeed, other similar advice. Another, more effective, way is to switch consciousness to other objects - for example, looking at the appearance of your opponent. Analyzing the behavior of the aggressor or the work environment, examining the details of clothing, calculating logarithms in your head (if you are a mathematical genius), translating the stapler's label from English into Russian - all this helps to distract yourself, stop the storm.
The reason for our reactions
Why is it so difficult to stop in a conflict situation, to go beyond the usual behavioral pattern? The reason lies in our physiology, and is explained by the theory of the conditional division of the brain into three main divisions:
- The "reptile's brain" is the most ancient part, which is activated at the moment of a threat to life.
- The "mammalian brain", which is responsible for receiving pleasure.
- And also the "human brain" - a department that regulates the processes of thinking, rational analysis, reasoning.
Usually these departments work in peace and harmony. But when a person is "in upset feelings", experiences anger or fear - excitement prevails in the "reptilian brain". It is this department that dictated the reactions of flight, expressions of aggression, freezing. But in all these cases, a person cannot evaluate his actions from a logical standpoint, understand the opponent's motivation. This scheme was life-saving for ancient man... Now it gives a lot of inconvenience, although it continues to function in the same mode as millions of years ago.
Turning off the "reptilian brain" is possible only with the help of logical analysis, awareness of the current situation - that is, connecting the frontal lobes. The situation looks much simpler when we got out of the conflict, cooled down, distracted. Physiologically, in the process of analyzing the situation, the following occurs - the focus of nervous excitement in the brain moves from more ancient layers to the cortical structures.
Types of communication manipulations
Exists Various types psychological pressure:
- Compulsion. The most common type of manipulation. In this case, the aggressor acts on the victim in the most direct way, using power, money, information, or brute physical force;
- Humiliation. The manipulator seeks to humiliate the victim as much as possible in order to implement his further plans. For example, at first you may hear about yourself a stream of all kinds of information about how stupid, incompetent, ugly you are, etc. mental capacity: "Idiot", "fool". This type of manipulation always causes resentment and a desire to defend yourself. As a result, the person quickly loses the ability to critically assess the situation, and it becomes much easier for the aggressor to control him. After all, the victim by a certain moment is already in a state of "combat readiness", in which he will zealously defend his personal boundaries. At this moment, the aggressor asks the question: "Can you do at least this?" - and the victim does everything to prove to himself and to the whole world his significance;
- Flattery. One of the most dangerous types of manipulation of the interlocutor's consciousness. This species is especially dangerous for those who depend on the opinions of others, have low self-esteem. Such a person can quickly succumb to a manipulator. Resisting flattery is quite simple - you just have to voice the real value of your achievements, reflecting the manipulation. For example: “You belong to such a long-suffering people, you have a rich history” - “What are you, every country has pages in history when its inhabitants had to fight for justice”;
- Avoiding a direct answer. One of the most common types of covert manipulation. Its meaning is that the victim is starved out. When she tries to clarify the situation, she hears in response something like the following: “What are you, at all? It's all right. What the hell are you talking about? " Or the aggressor may constantly ask why you say unpleasant things about him.
Psychological pressure and methods of neutralization
Resisting manipulation is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance.
How can psychological pressure be neutralized?
- The first thing that needs to be done is to realize that the actions of the aggressor are pursuing a specific goal. You should be alarmed by his stubborn attempts to draw your attention to some aspects of the issue and completely ignore others. Fluctuations in emotions, feelings of sympathy, or, conversely, resentment towards the manipulator, should also not go unnoticed. There are other signals to watch out for, such as feelings of guilt or a feeling of being pressed for time. Analyze the situation in time. The aggressor knows that once he unbalances his opponent, it will be very easy for him to control. However, as soon as you manage to soberly assess the situation, the need for an "urgent" solution to the issue, or an inappropriate feeling of guilt disappears by itself;
- Ask questions. They should assume the possibility of a detailed answer - that is, these are not questions to which you can only answer "yes" or "no". For example: “What makes you think that I'm afraid? Can you suggest that I have other grounds for refusal? " This technique is especially effective in situations where the other person blames you for emotional pressure. Use follow-up questions as if you're asking for his opinion. Refrain from making excuses, trying to explain yourself;
- If you don't like the negotiation style, feel free to interrupt the communication. You are the same participant in the process as the interlocutor. This is the surest way to avoid making bad decisions, especially when rushed;
- Another great anti-manipulation technique is the opposite behavior. For example, the aggressor expects you to be fearful and you show courage and determination; expects impudence from you - you show surprise; if you are forced to act in a hurry, you become even slower;
- Play for time - this will allow you to remember the techniques with which you can reflect the manipulation. For example, you can abruptly “remember” that you need to take medicine, call your child, or go away when needed. You can just drop a pencil on the floor and look for it for a long time. It is advisable that you always have the methods of countering manipulation at the ready, and you can use them "on the machine." But if you do not have such an opportunity yet, a pause will allow you to gather and adjust your strategy of behavior.
Goodbye to everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.
Any human action has its own logic. This also applies to the pressure that is being exerted on you. The oppressive person usually conducts his strategy on several fronts: he can put pressure on you with logic, will, intrigue and energy. If you want to defend yourself, you must at least understand the nature of the pressure being put on you. First of all, it is good to understand, and who is pressing on you and why is he doing it? Without understanding the essence and motives of the oppressive aggressor and considering his aggressive, unceremonious nature as a black box, you cannot choose a competent and reliable line of opposition to pressure. Consider several classifications of conflict and difficult people that are described in the previous chapters and choose the type that most closely resembles this aggressor. This alone will help you better understand the logic of his behavior and, possibly, force you to reconsider your behavior.
Usually, some people put psychological pressure on other people for several reasons:
1) they seek to force them to act in a certain direction for reasons of benefit;
2) they feel the need to psychologically put another person in their place and at the same time assert themselves (remove or push aside a strong adversary, competitor);
3) they get pleasure from the very process of psychological humiliation of another person;
4) they put pressure on others to the end, not realizing it and submitting to their impulses of an internal aggressive-strong-willed and rudely authoritarian nature.
On the energetic level, pressure manifests itself in the contact of two auras, one of which begins to suppress the other, forcing it to retreat, shrink and obey the commands of the first. Pressure can be directed from the sphere of the mind and in turn directed to the intellectual area of another person, the sphere of his logic (in such cases, they say that someone is suppressing the opponent with his intellect), or it can directly punch, force the will of a weaker opponent or victim. There is also another, more subtle kind of pressure, when a person, through various manipulations, is placed in such conditions in which, against his wishes, he is forced to behave as a manipulator needs. This, of course, distorts his will.
Protection from psychological pressure should begin with a quick, but focused reflection on the topic: does the one who is pressing, have at least some moral right to such an attitude towards you? Maybe you really deserve to be treated this tough? What if you really went too far, treated this person unfairly, invaded the sphere of other people's interests without asking? If so, then your resistance and unwillingness to make any compromise is assessed as unheard of impudence, which must be fought by everyone. available means... Maybe your opponent's aggressive pressure is based on a misunderstanding of you and your behavior. Such things happen all the time, so try to explain the essence of the matter to him in short, clear and precise phrases. A person who has at least some degree of conscience and understanding is able to stop if he is convinced that he is wrong. Well, and the one who is deprived of these properties, of course, will continue his pressure, and your resistance will only provoke him.
Let's assume that justice is indeed on your side, but the pressure continues. You can try to defuse the situation and turn everything into a joke or even partially retreat, only within yourself clearly determine to what extent a compromise is possible. However, if your softening impulse is not being received, try to take the punch. Start resisting in earnest. What resources do you have in order to successfully repel an attack?
First of all, at least for a moment, as far as the situation allows, ask for support from the Higher Powers with a short intense prayer. Repeat to yourself several times with maximum faith and concentration some formula, maybe two words: "Lord, help!" Tune in to the perception of Higher Help and try to absorb the energy of help. Then respond to the pressure confidently and firmly by speaking harsh or ironic phrases, taking a certain place and posture, without retreating either psychologically or physically. By the way, the ability to defend your position even purely spatially, without retreating in front of the onslaught of the aggressor, who often presses on you, approaching you and forcing you to retreat a few steps, is part of the art of correct defense against volitional pressure. It involves either good physical training ( the strong man usually retreats only in front of even greater strength), or the ability to control your body, avoiding muscle clamps. In the psychological single combat of two people, all other things being equal, someone's psychoenergetic superiority decides the matter, and it includes vitality a person, which means, to some extent, a bodily strength. A person with a weak, untrained body, full of muscle clamps and problems, as a rule, cannot withstand the rough pressure of a psychological "pitching", especially if he is better developed on a physical level.
Taoist tradition and the martial arts of the East believe that even in a not very strong body there are certain zones and points, concentrating on which a person releases hidden resources of the body and psyche, deep energies that allow you to more steadily and energetically parry any onslaught. This is, first of all, the lower dan-tian - the center located in the navel, the centers of the legs that provide a person with a sense of stability, both physical and psychological, and finally, the entire spinal column, which is an energy core and axis, on the state of which the general tension depends of human will and the spiritual strength of the person under pressure. The more you consciously work on training these centers and areas of the body, the more confident you will be to take a hit in all life's troubles and defend your innocence.
Igor, a client attending my consultations and suffering from a great sense of insecurity in front of any form of psychological pressure, on my advice began to go to qigong gymnastics and develop vitality in the lower dan-tian area. During our conversations with him, I clearly understood how weak this center is and how poorly he controls his lower limbs in a moment of danger. Where the so-called inner strength is concentrated in other people, an emptiness gaped in him, a failure was felt, which conveyed to all his words and movements some kind of unconvincingness. According to him, when they pressed on him, he always felt a certain awkwardness and weakness in the abdomen and therefore tried to give in. Having begun to engage in the development of neglected zones in the body and the revitalization of the subtle centers, which are the energy basis of a person, he suddenly calmed down and for the first time in his life began to feel his vital righteousness, which must be defended against illegal encroachments.
Another resource to help resist pressure is the integrity of human desires and decisions. You may hesitate for a while and think about what decision it makes sense to make in response to pressure, but, having stopped on one thing, you have to continue to stand further. Cut off all doubts, hesitations, manifestations of laziness, take a clear and clear position and do not allow the outflow of energy to extraneous mental movements. Once you are attacked, then you must be monolithic in all your behavior. Otherwise, through the gaps of doubt, someone else's negative will will penetrate into you and enslave you.
You can also use image resources, for example, imagine that you are surrounded by an unbreakable wall, an invisible sphere, an energy shield, cocoon, spacesuit. The technology of building shields is described in detail in my book "Invisible Armor". I teach concrete practice of working with shields on individual consultations and seminars. The method of building three rings of power is especially effective - a ring that protects the personality, then a ring around the aura and, finally, a ring that protects the spirit. It is only important that these rings are based on the person's inner confidence in his righteousness. Otherwise, you will imagine a "colossus" with feet of clay, and the rings will perform exclusively virtual value.
And finally, another of the most important resources of defense against pressure is the ability to skillfully alternate defense tactics and change the centers that are involved in repelling a blow. It is first of all, about the alternation of logic and will, which you go for. Of course, this alternation largely depends on the nature of the threat and how often your opponent or opponent alternates between these two strategies. If you are strong in intellectual conversations and in the ability to quickly give the right argument, and your opponent prefers not to bother looking for the right arguments and is inclined to go ahead, use whichever weapon you wield best... If it is the mind, bring the conflict into the territory of the mind. If you do not know the art of instantly finding the best intellectual solutions and choosing the wittiest words in the midst of an acute conflict, but you have a good willpower and are in excellent physical shape, turn on the channel of powerful reciprocal volitional pressure. For example, bark at it. Let not only him press, but also you. You can also quickly change tactics, moving from volitional resistance to skillfully organized arguments and vice versa. Then, whoever is in front of you, it will not be so easy for him to break through your defenses.
Sergey Yurievich Klyuchnikov- practical psychologist with 25 years of work experience, candidate of philosophical sciences, academician of the Russian Academy natural sciences(RAEN). Author over 20 books on practical psychology, is one of the ten most widely read psychologists in Russia. The creator of unique author's methods for mastering the hidden resources of the body and psyche, self-regulation and combating alcoholism, increasing personal efficiency and financial success, stress management, behavior in extreme situations and psychological self-defense against aggression and manipulation. Conducted several hundred psychological trainings and several thousand individual consultations, incl. in Moscow, Nizhny Novgorod, Novosibirsk, Vladivostok, Odessa, etc.
More information about the books by Sergei Klyuchnikov, as well as consultations and psychological trainings can be found on the website www.kluchnikov.ru
