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How to get rid of anxiety. - When are we nervous? How to stop worrying about what

How to stop being nervous is a question many people ask themselves when they are at a dead end. After all, it is the excitement that prevents us from taking a sensible look at the problem, weighing the pros and cons and finding a reasonable way out of the current situation.

Let me tell you a secret: there is nothing supernatural and complicated in what I want to tell you today, no. But this does not mean that everything that I will share with you does not work, on the contrary.

If you put in some effort, if you listen to my recommendations, then you will definitely be able to cope with anxiety, stop being nervous and be able to remain calm in any, even hopeless, situations. Interesting?

The reasons for our worries

Before I tell you how to stop being nervous and become calm, I want to touch on the topic of the reasons for our experiences. Even if you think that all this is unimportant, you are greatly mistaken, because it is not the condition itself that needs to be overcome, but its causes.

Do you know why we are nervous? Yes, because we try our best to think about the past and the future, and do not live for today.

Reason # 1

The first reason that causes us anxiety is that we are in a hurry to live.

Yes Yes. We are constantly trying to live in a segment of the future (or rather, in the infinity of the future), without having the knowledge that we have to learn later. We imagine an ideal picture of the future (only this and no other), not paying attention to what is happening to us now.

It seems to us that tomorrow will come that very happy day, but for some reason it does not come. First, we rush to grow up to stop going to school every day, because we think that all the best will happen to us after graduation. The next planned and expected period is marriage, then - the purchase of a car, housing, climbing the career ladder, etc.

Let me give you an example of a situation from my life that almost made me worry. There is some event that may happen to me next year. In order for it to take place, you need to plan funding for it this year or pay everything out of your own pocket. Although there are still 2 months left until the end of the year, planning has already been suspended. Having learned about this, to be honest, I was almost upset, did not start to worry. And then I thought, but I know where I will be in six months, in which country, at what job? Do I need all this then? And where is the guarantee that by writing the event into the "plan", I will receive money to pay for it?

Have you experienced similar situations? I think they happen every day. We are worried about what decision we will need to make next Thursday, what will be the dollar exchange rate next year, where we will go to rest in the summer. What for?

I really like one joke: “My childhood dream has come true - I grew up and I no longer have to get up to school by 8:30. Now I get up for work at 6:20. " So we do: we do not value what is, but constantly worry about what will (or not).

Reason # 2

The second major cause of our concern is our past.

We constantly think about how we could change our past, we worry about this. Oh, why didn't I do it before ...

Think, is there any point in all this? After all, the past cannot be changed! All this has already taken place. It just needs to be accepted.

Why are we worried about what drives us to experience this emotion? Most often, our anxiety is generated by fear. The fear of not doing something, the fear that events will not go the way we imagined them. It is fear that is the root cause of anxiety. Well, worry makes us agitated and nervous and can even lead to development. Can a person, being in such a state, think sensibly, solve problems, act for his own good? Unlikely.

What is the conclusion? You must learn to live in the moment! Do not try to peek into the future or invent a time machine to change the past.

Canadian physician, medical historian and philosopher William Osler once uttered wonderful words:

Our main task is not to look into the foggy distance of the future, but to act now, in the direction that we can see.

What else can you add to these golden words?

How to stop being nervous about trifles?

Fence off the past and the future with iron doors. Live in today's pressurized compartments.

Do not think that I am urging you not to do anything, in any case. It's just that if you worry about everything that will happen to us in a week, month or even a year, then you just might not have time to prepare with it.

I myself very often live by the principle: "You need to solve problems as they arise." If the problem is only visible somewhere on the horizon and does not affect me, then it’s silly to worry, what if it will bypass me?

A friend of mine jokingly told me this formula for solving life's problems:

50% of problems are solved on their own, 25% are not solved at all, so is it worth worrying about the remaining 25%?

Yes, this is a joke, but if you approach your life from such a position, then there will be much less worries, right?

Did you know that stress, constant excitement can lead to many serious diseases - hypertension, heart attack, stroke, diabetes, psoriasis and many others? In pursuit of something ghostly, you can lose not only health, but also life! Stress is a common cause of many mental disorders, including. So if you want to be mentally and physically healthy person, you should not neglect these simple recommendations.

3 easy steps to stop worrying about everything

Getting rid of anxiety in problem situations is quite simple. The most important thing is to direct your energy not to worry, but to solve the situation. I will share with you one trick that works.

How to stop being nervous about anything? It's very simple, you just need to take 3 simple steps towards solving the problem:

• Step 1. The first thing you need to do if you are feeling anxious is to imagine that the worst can happen if you cannot solve the problem you are experiencing.
• Step 2. After you have imagined the worst that could be, accept it as if everything had already happened.
• Step 3. After you have come to terms with the worst scenario, calmly think about what you can do to improve the situation.

As a rule, we are worried precisely because we are afraid that something will go wrong, that the situation will reach a dead end. Well, even so. Even if things go the worst way, so what? Is it really worth your worries?

Believe me, after you look danger in the eye, imagine the worst, you will feel much easier and calmer. After all, we are worried precisely because emotions prevail on reasonable arguments. And if the outcome of the situation is already known (everything happened), then there will be much less worries. It will be possible to move on to the next important step - to solving the situation, improving the worst case scenario.

Another Workable Way to Stop Nervous and Anxiety

I want to give you one more piece of advice on how to calm down and quickly stop being nervous at work, at home, or in any other situation. To do this, you must follow a specific algorithm.

If you are overwhelmed with anxiety, ask yourself 4 simple questions:

1. What worries me at this moment?
2. What can I do? (What options could there be?)
3. What am I going to do now to solve this problem?
4. When do I intend to start taking the intended action?

If possible, it is best to write or type the answers to all of these questions. First, this way you can see the situation and the way out of it more fully, instead of experiencing. Secondly, human memory is not ideal, if something goes wrong and you abandon the chosen solution to the problem, you will have other options written down on paper (which you can later forget about).

By answering these questions, you will immediately understand the essence of the problem. Moreover, if you go further, then you will be able to imagine possible ways out of the situation, ways to solve the problem and their consequences. You will see what other information you are missing and where to get it. Believe me, it will be much easier for you to decide on an action strategy.

Believe me, if you write the answers to all these questions, then you will quickly stop being nervous, and your thoughts will work in a completely different direction - how to constructively get out of this situation.

But even this is not the most important thing! The most important thing is to clearly imagine when it will be necessary to make a decision, not to rush the situation and, as I wrote above, to solve problems as they arise.

If a decision is required of you as soon as possible, then after you have collected all the necessary information, immediately proceed to action, while trying to discard all worries about the result. You will do everything to improve the worst situation that you have already accepted!

Be busy all the time and you will be calm!

How to stop worrying and wind yourself up? Remember, for this you need to act, you need to keep your brain busy with intense work.

Have you noticed such a pattern that worries arise in those moments when we are free, rest, or our brain is not busy with some difficult work? This is where the excitement comes in.

When Winston Churchill was asked if he was worried about the responsibility that lay with him, he said:

I'm too busy to have time to worry.

And, indeed, there was a war, he worked 18 hours a day, and his brain was constantly busy with solving global problems, and not with baseless experiences.

So you, if you are looking for a way out, do not know how to stop worrying, make sure that there is not a minute of free time in your life. Work, develop, devote your time to charity, helping others, then you simply will not have time for useless and destructive worries!

Want to overcome depression but don't know how? Read on.

I know firsthand about the excitement before an important event. I get excited every time I speak in front of an audience. Over time, I figured out and understood where it comes from and how to deal with it.

But the excitement arises not only before a public speech. It rolls over before an interview, or when you need to make an important decision, take an exam, ask for a salary increase.

In this article, I want to suggest several ways to help you deal with anxiety. I want to note right away that some techniques will not completely solve the problem, but partially, since the reasons for the excitement are different for everyone. To neutralize them completely, you need.

Why are we worried?

The first and main reason for worry is, of course, fear. The fear that you will be denied, you will not be understood, you are not needed, not worthy, and so on. Fear, in turn, arises when a person is not sure of a positive result and is afraid of not reaching the final goal with a plus sign.

One option for dealing with anxiety is through careful preparation. She will help to calm down on the eve of a speech, a conversation with the authorities, an exam.

But what if preparation doesn't work? What to do when the excitement fetters the body and does not allow breathing at the most inopportune moment? I offer several powerful techniques.

6 techniques to help you deal with anxiety

Technique # 1 - movement

Movement helps to cope with anxiety. For example, if you are speaking in front of an audience, talking on the phone, or waiting for your turn to draw your exam ticket - move.

Walk around the auditorium, the room, go out into the corridor, go for a cup of coffee - any movement will help you calm down and come to your senses.

Technique # 2 - reincarnation

As a rule, if you are confident in your knowledge, then the excitement arises before the performance, not during it. Such anxiety can be dealt with with a simple trick.

Pick up any item, an elastic band, a pen, a hairpin, a marker, or whatever, and mentally ask this item to be your excitement. Put it aside and go to accomplish your plans. Do not even doubt the effectiveness of this technique.

Technique # 3 - breathing

Breathing evenly and calmly will relieve stress and help you make important decisions. Quite often, we subconsciously hold our breath in moments of tension and intense excitement. This is fundamentally the wrong path. Approximately 5-7 minutes of even and calm breathing (inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth) is great to save you from anxiety.

Technique # 4 - shifting attention

Shifting attention. Women are distinguished by the fact that from time to time they replay events in their heads that have not even happened yet.

Take a break and remove the level of importance from this event. At the very least, you will be surprised to notice a lot of interesting people and other interesting events around you.

Technique # 5 - Relaxation

Stressful behavior not only constrains the body, but also the flow of thoughts in your head. Stress is the cause of irritation in the body, feelings and thoughts, and it is not at all an effective way of dealing with anxiety.

Relaxation, on the other hand, will allow the body to rest and unconsciously prepare for the important things. For example, for a performance.

Technique # 6 - "mental dialogue"

There is such an expression: forewarned is forearmed! How can you calculate the situation in advance? So, imagine yourself and the person standing in front of you with whom you have an important conversation.

Now mentally move into his body and head as if you can feel, hear, see as he does. Now try to understand what this person expects from you? What actions? What solutions? What words? Now again return to your body and head and say to the interlocutor everything that he expects from you.

If it is necessary to continue the "mental dialogue", then repeat it until you realize that everything will happen in the best way for you.

Technique number 7 - positive

A positive attitude is now being written on the Internet, told at lectures and broadcast from TV screens. This is one of the best ways to stay in the resource, and also to feel calm, balanced and stable.

Think of the upcoming exciting event as something not very important, and if it happens - well, if not, then the best is sure to await you ahead!

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“Anxiety often gives
a small thing a big shadow "

- Swedish proverb

Growing up, we cease to perceive the world simply and carefree. There are more and more things in our life that we worry about. Not only abstract, but also concrete-subject: next week, important at work or insufficiently performed task, upcoming examination by a doctor ... The list of reasons can be endless. How many of them really deserve to be alarmed? Alas, everyone should find the answer to this question for himself. But we are almost sure that the list will definitely include things that are not worth worrying about. Most likely, you can name them even without complex introspection, moreover, you are aware of them, but still do not know how to stop worrying. Here are some tips on this topic.

Schedule "worry periods"

It is very difficult to drive away “unnecessary” worrying thoughts. You can try not to think about the cause of the worry, deny or avoid it, trying to distract yourself - this will work, but not for long. After a while, the alarm will return and everything will start all over again. Therefore, it is important to learn not to avoid your thoughts, but to control them. How to do it?

1. Create "periods of anxiety." Give yourself a clear time frame (preferably in the evening) when you will worry in a calm atmosphere. Just sit in a comfortable chair or sofa and think about what is bothering you in the 20-30 minutes allotted for this.
2. Postpone anxiety. If during the day you start to get overwhelmed by anxiety about any reason - write yourself a reminder with its reason on a piece of paper and return to what you were doing. Every time unwanted thoughts creep into your head, remind yourself that there will be more time to think about them.
3. Gradually replace “worry periods” with working with an alarm list. Over time, move from thinking about everything that worries you, to thinking only about what is on the list. This will help you get rid of nonessential worries. Plus, as you review your notes for the day, you’ll begin to notice over time that not everything you worry about really deserves it.

System of questions and search for a solution

Research confirms a paradox: when a person is worried, they feel less anxious. In other words, if you are currently worried about something (directly thinking about the problem), your level of anxiety is lower. This is because thinking is already a step towards a solution. The brain focuses on finding it, pushing emotions into the background. But thinking about a solution and finding one are two different things. So how do you know if the problem is solvable and start looking for a solution?

You need to answer yourself a few questions. The first of them allows you to establish the type of your anxiety: an imaginary or a real problem do I care? Imaginary problems include, for example, the fear of getting cancer or getting into an accident. To the present - production and everyday problems. After determining the type of alarm, a conclusion is made about the solvability of the problem.

If it’s real, it’s most likely solvable. So ask yourself the question: how can I solve this problem? Swipe. Pick up good ideas and take action. This is better, anyway, than just continuing to worry and doing nothing.

If the problem is imaginary, it is very difficult to solve it. There are people who are not helped by any methods - their anxiety is chronic. What to do in this case? Explore and embrace your emotions while developing. Take control of anxiety - by limiting the amount of time you spend on it in the way described in the first block.

Challenge anxious thoughts

People who are prone to chronic anxiety very often view the world in a somewhat negative way. They tend to exaggerate danger, assume worst-case scenarios, and underestimate their own abilities, including in terms of solving life problems. These pessimistic and even irrational sentiments are known as. They are not based on reality, but they are very difficult to give up. They often form a kind of thinking pattern and become automatic. Therefore, in order to get rid of such bad thinking habits, you need to teach yourself to think differently.

You should start by defining a fearful thought, trying to understand as much as possible what worries you. Then, instead of accepting your thoughts as facts, you should consider them as hypotheses that you are only testing. You can do this by answering the following questions:

• Is there direct evidence that this thought is true / untrue?
• Are there any positive aspects to the situation that worries me? What are the real consequences?
• What is the likelihood that what I fear will actually happen?
• Is my alarm justified? Will the situation be solved if you constantly think and worry about it? Is there a way out? Which?
• What would I say to a close friend of mine if he showed anxiety about this to comfort him?

Do not seek to control what you cannot control

Be rational. Many people worry and worry about things that they cannot directly influence. For example, they cannot find a place for themselves, waiting for the results of an interview for a new job. Or they are worried about whether they said something stupid when communicating with a new person whom they really liked. These things can be very important. But something else should be understood and accepted: there is something that we cannot influence even with a great desire and effort. It is very difficult not to worry about such things, but you need to make an effort on yourself and understand that not everything is in your power. You need to stop harassing yourself for reasons beyond your control. At the same time, one should not be too harsh in self-criticism. They made a mistake, analyzed the situation, found out the reason, took steps to ensure that nothing like this would happen again in the future. Remember: it is not stupidity to make a mistake, it is stupidity to repeat it.

Meditation and Introspection

Take time to clear your mind of "unnecessary" thoughts. Even the busiest person has half an hour or an hour a week to spend thinking. They do not have to be organized according to the principle of the first block. You just have to sit down and think in detail about what is bothering you. Will it be important in a couple of months? Years? Does it somehow affect your achievement in the long term? In order to free yourself from anxiety, think things over calmly and make a decision, you can use various relaxation techniques. Or conduct a session. Sometimes after this the head becomes fresh and many problems no longer seem insurmountable.

Learn how to stop worrying and learn how to deal with stress at work and school using self-regulation techniques.

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous... I will explain how to stay calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When are we nervous?

Nervousness and trembling, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, important events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand what nervousness has, how psychological so and physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put in order the nervous system, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with in order to realize the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. The right protective mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is hard to sit still, we want to do something with our hands, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, are they helping you a lot? Do they help you cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is of course not, and what's more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous - not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is just some kind of mental mechanism, fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the effects of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why fix it? But because when you are nervous:

• Your thinking ability is reduced and it is more difficult for you to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires extreme mental stress
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or dating
• Nervousness contributes to a faster build-up of fatigue and stress, which is bad for your health and well-being
• If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life.
• You are prone to bad habits:, alcohol, as you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand the psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we realized that:

• Nervousness is not beneficial, it only interferes.
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself.
• In everyday life, there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we are mainly worried about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article, and I will tell you why this is so.

You should set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous about, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Do not think that I’m just talking about which I myself have no idea. I experienced all my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24. I could not pull myself together in stressful situations, worried about every little thing, even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges, "panic attacks", dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, you can't say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I am on the right track and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I am not inventing anything and I am only telling about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I would not have begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

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Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think of all those events that make you nervous: calling your boss, passing an exam, expecting an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and perspectives. What is the lifelong significance of a skirmish on public transport or on the road, and is it so awful to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and something to worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take your mind off the present moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their importance in your eyes, turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot. stop being nervous about anything... But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, self-discipline and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will reward us generously, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for the job you are dreaming of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not interfere with your focus on the goal and achieve it.

And you realize that there is an important event ahead of you, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: you do not need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too demanding to be screwed up by nervousness, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for it!

Now we bring our thoughts into calmness, we remove the jitters. First, put all thoughts of failure out of your head right away. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The most ingenious breathing exercises will help you to relax.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

• inhale in 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
• keep the air in you 2 counts / hits
• exhale in 4 counts / beats
• do not breathe for 2 counts / blows and then inhale again for 4 counts / blows - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don't breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper in / out, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You only need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, with the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, keep our attention only on breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice, breathing practice helps not only to relax you here and now, but in general. puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In the form, I talk about how to cope with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also help you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and control yourself.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Well, we are well prepared. But the time has already come for the event itself. Further I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to get nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How not to succumb to nervousness during an important meeting.

Play calm: even if neither emotional attitude nor breathing exercises helped you to relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your state at the moment. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle of feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but facial expressions also determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about it in the Wikipedia article "emotions". So the more relaxed you want to appear, the more relaxed you really become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Do you have your eyes running around? Are the movements smooth and measured or harsh and impulsive? What does your face express cold impenetrability, or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expressions. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to collect and concentrate. And it's not just that you control yourself through inner observation. Observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them get lost and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness is achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Chewing on a pencil? Tying the big toe and little toe of your left foot? Now forget about it, we keep our hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in the chair, do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, vanity always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for an appointment. Since any rush very quickly knocks down composure and calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how rushed you are, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, when traveling in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but insignificantly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the appeal “ watch yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, not to rush to answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. You don't need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make it so if you do everything right and do not worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgotten and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are energized and still experiencing tension. Better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting. Try not to think a lot about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, and if I spoke this way and not that way, oh, how I probably looked stupid there, oh, I'm a bastard, but if ...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it with this tutorial.

Lesson 6. You shouldn't create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, I hoped that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. I often went to retake. As a result, during the session, I experienced such an unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that how many things had piled on, how hard it was, eh ... Although I myself was to blame if I did everything in advance (I didn't have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing I could provide all the intermediate control tests for myself - but then laziness possessed me and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and the fact that they would take me into the army if I I will not hand over something, as I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I am talking about the fact that you have to try yourself do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay it until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably several! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop being nervous about trifles

To stop worrying is not enough just to follow the lessons I have outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind to a state of rest. And the next thing I’ll tell you about will be the rules, observing which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous about trifles... These methods are focused on long-term results, they will make you less stressed in general, and not only prepare you for a big event.

• Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good at calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I have already written so much about this, so I will not dwell on this.
• Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a range of health-promoting measures (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy mind in a healthy body: Your mental well-being depends not only on mental factors; sports strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.
Diaphragmatic breathing with panic attack

In this article, you will learn how to stop being nervous and become a calm person. I will present you with six proven ways to calm down, and at the end I will give you an exercise that will allow you to relax right now and look at all your problems in a different way.

How to Stop Nervous and Become Calm - 6 Ways

Here are six guaranteed ways to stop worrying and become a calm person, as well as an exercise to help you calm down right now:

Method # 1: exiting negativity through the body

Sports will help you to remove accumulated negative emotions through the body. The negative comes out the fastest through the body. Running, weight training, fitness, dancing - choose what you like. After a few days of training, you will feel significant relief. But the main condition is that the first week you have to "plow", work literally to wear and tear, not sparing yourself. At the initial stage of work, it is important to start the mechanism for removing toxins. To do this, you need to make every effort, to give all your best at least in the first week. Otherwise, the negative emotions accumulated in the body will remain inside you. If laziness prevents you from starting to play sports, I recommend that you read the article about.

In the first month of work, I suggest doing sports three to four times a week. This will help you to remove from the body all the accumulated blocks, waste and toxins formed as a result of suppressing negative emotions. Push yourself, literally take yourself to the gym.

Exercise is brilliant, you will feel yourself calmer, tolerate minor setbacks more easily, and focus on the positive. This is due to the fact that during sports, the body not only frees itself from negativity, but also produces a positive in the form of endorphins, the so-called hormone of happiness. So if you want to stop being nervous, calmer, and even happier, go for a workout!

Method # 2: Resource moments - anchors

In this section, I'll walk you through a stress-relieving exercise. It returns the body to the state of happiness that you once experienced. Our unconscious stores all the information that has ever been received by it. In other words, at the subconscious level, you remember absolutely everything that happened in your life from the moment of birth to the present day. The only problem is that there is a barrier between consciousness and the unconscious, and not every person can overcome this barrier.

The easiest way to return to consciousness is those memories to which smells and sensations are attached. It is the sense of smell and kinesthetics (bodily sensations) that are always one hundred percent imprinted on your body. For this reason, the smell of tangerines reminds you of celebrating the new year, and the smell of, for example, baked goods, brings back to childhood memories of the summer at your grandmother's in the village. How it works? Something happens to you, and at this time you feel some kind of smell or experience certain sensations in the body.

The next time you smell the same or experience the same sensations, you will be flooded with memories of the situation in which you were (or it will be easier for you to immerse yourself in it). The exercise. Whenever you are in a resource state (when you really feel good), smell something and remember that smell. If it works, then remember your sensations in the body. And then this resource state will remain with you forever.

For example, remember the last time you went to the sea. Remember how it smells? Or maybe you remember what you felt in your body when you lay on the shore? Or, for example, on that vacation you bought a Pina Colada more than once, and it is its smell that you now associate with this vacation. Basically, remember the smell or sensation that reminds you of this vacation. It works! Do it right now and see for yourself.

As you experience pleasant memories, your brain will let you re-experience that smell or those bodily sensations. And if the desired smell or sensation is within your reach, present it to yourself in reality (and not just with the help of memories). For example, order the same Pina Colada at the bar. But if the desired smell is the smell of the sea itself, and sensations cannot be replaced with anything, then just remember this smell or sensations, and then the body will feel the pleasure that you experienced while on vacation. This exercise brings you back to the state in which you were once.

Of course, it doesn't have to be the sea. And not even necessarily a place, but, for example, a person with whom you felt good. Remember his smell and your feelings next to him - and you will feel as good as then. This technique will help you calm your nerves, no matter how unbalanced you are. Learn to memorize smells and sensations in those moments when you feel good. Ideally, you can deliberately sniff something and thus establish in your head a connection between a pleasant event and a smell. Do this constantly, and then the happy moments of your life will be clearly remembered by you. And now it will not be difficult to return to this state - after all, you have memorized the smell and sensation.

This technique is called an anchor. Anchors are the keys to memories (in this case, smells and sensations). Place an anchor on every pleasant event in your life, and then it will be easy for you to return to a state of happiness in any incomprehensible situation.

Method # 3: Change reactions

What we are not aware of controls us. If you are in a nervous state, it means that at this moment something is controlling you. In order for this to stop, and you learn to calmly react to circumstances, you need to track and learn to be aware of exactly what you are reacting to, and change your reaction.

Let me give you a simple example. Boy Vanya, for fun, caught a worm and decided to play with it. He hung the worm by his index and thumb and began to poke a needle into it. The worm twitched, and Vanya felt so funny that he began to poke at the worm again and again. The worm twitched even harder, to which Vanya in response began to poke at him with even greater force.

When the worm realized that his reaction to the pain from the needle provoked the boy to poke at him even more, he decided to pretend to be dead. Vanya continues to poke at the worm, but he seems to have died. And Vanya became uninteresting with him, he threw the worm and went to look for another, the one with whom he would be more fun. The worm could have acted differently, for example, grab hold of Vanya's finger and begin to violently attack the boy. Perhaps this would have led to the same outcome - Vanya would have unhooked the evil worm from himself and with resentment would have gone to look for another entertainment for himself.

The moral of the story is this: if something makes you angry or irritated - track, realize and change your reaction to it, and the stimulus will stop acting on your nerves. Because it's not about the irritant, it's all about your reaction to it. When you become aware of your reactions and learn to choose them, you take the reins into your own hands and begin to control the situation yourself.

A stimulus is annoying as long as you continue to respond to it in your usual way. By changing the response, you also change the behavior of the stimulus. But as long as you react the same way, you are a worm on Vanya's hook. Because you let the situation control you. Become flexible, take control of the situation. Look at it from the outside and realize how you need to react in order for the stimulus to go away or start acting in a different way.

Become a conscious person, choose a reaction depending on who is in front of you. Be flexible in approaching the question: pretend to be a fool, laugh it off, quietly turn the conversation into another channel, or, conversely, talk frankly with the person. Everyone needs different things. Learn to see what the person in front of you needs. And your new way of reacting will change the behavior of the interlocutor.

Choose your reactions, and then you will not meet people who make you nervous. They themselves will begin to treat you differently, because with you it will no longer be interesting to play "stimulus-reaction" games, because you will already be in a different role. They will either change their attitude towards you, or simply leave your life. If you find it difficult to change your reaction due to the fact that you have a grudge against a person in your soul, be sure to do it. And one more important point! It is impossible to change the reaction as long as you have aggression towards the person. You can read how to get rid of aggression.

I have a book called How to Love Yourself. In it, I collected the most effective and working techniques, with the help of which I myself once learned to love myself, raised my self-esteem and increased self-confidence. Using this link, you can purchase it at a symbolic cost of 149 rubles. This book will teach you to act and think only out of love for yourself, which means it will be an excellent assistant on the path to tranquility.

Method # 4: present

The most effective way to stop worrying and become calm in a few seconds is to be in the present moment. For example, you are calling clients at work, and one of the calls hurt you a lot. You are angry and unable to concentrate and calmly return to work. The call annoyed you, but it's already in the past. Continuing to think about him, you mentally are in the past, give him your energy and stand with your back to the present. In order to stop getting angry and continue working, you just need to learn to be in the present.

Think about what you are doing. Think, for example, like this: “Now I am at work and doing one of my tasks - making calls to clients. At the moment, I'm looking at my customer base and picking up the phone to call the next one. And now I'm dialing numbers and calling this client. " At first, thoughts from the past will constantly creep into your head. In response, simply interrupt them with thoughts about what you are doing at the moment, or about what surrounds you. This technique is great for unloading the brain and putting aside far-fetched problems and obsessive anxious thoughts. Use it constantly, and then you will not only become a calm and balanced person, but also learn to fully enjoy life.

Method # 5: discipline

If you are often nervous and anxious, then most likely there is not enough discipline in your life. The first kind of discipline is discipline in thought. Learn not only to be in the present, but also to be aware of all your thoughts. Once you learn this, you can drop the unnecessary and think about what really matters. It takes practice to become aware of your thoughts. Think about what you are thinking (sorry for the tautology) and adjust your thoughts. Up to this point, your thoughts wandered chaotically like goats in a vegetable garden. But from now on, you can begin to be aware of them and control them.

Let me give you an example. The girl Tanya was abandoned by a guy, and she cannot forget him. In order to finally do this, she needs to learn to control her thoughts and start thinking only about what benefits her. For example, Tanya once again remembered how her ex took her to a restaurant and gave her flowers. She begins to cry, remembering this, and thinks that she will not find anyone better. To stop giving her energy to the past and turn her face to the present, she needs, when she once again thinks about the former, by an effort of will to force herself to switch one thoughts to another.

For example, think about what she is doing at the moment, or about her goals, plans and intentions. Or something good and positive. Thinking about what is beneficial for her, about what will be beneficial. Otherwise, she will simply throw her time, energy, as well as beauty and health into nowhere.

Begin to be aware of what you are thinking. And with an effort of will, move your thoughts wherever it suits you. Think about what brings you energy, strength, health and success. Put things in order in your thoughts and from now on don't let them wander where they shouldn't. Discipline in thought isn't everything. Discipline in your daily activities is equally important. It's about both work and leisure.

Write a plan for each of your days and try to fulfill it as much as possible. Come up with a plan that suits your capabilities. Do not overload yourself in any way. If you haven't done something, don't criticize yourself, just do it tomorrow.

Plan your daily vacation too. Unload your brain for at least half an hour every day. Read your favorite book or take a bath. But! This rest should also be part of your daily plan and should not exceed the recommended amount. In short, put discipline in your entire life, and you will be surprised to find that you have stopped being nervous and finally calmed down. Self-discipline shouldn't turn you into a robot. It should streamline your thoughts and your actions so that you stop worrying, anxious and angry, and begin to do and think only what is important and useful for you.

Method # 6: Determine the cause

If you often have to be nervous, worried or anxious, it means that you are not satisfied with the current state of affairs in your life. There must be a reason for your concern. Bigger dissatisfaction is always behind minor troubles. These can be problems at work or in the family, financial difficulties, or problems with relationships with friends. Perhaps it is an unconscious fear of something or limiting attitudes, subconscious beliefs that prevent you from living in peace.

If you want to identify the cause of your anxiety and root it out, then a specialist can best help you with this. I am a psychologist and I provide individual consultations via Skype.

Together with you at the consultation, we will be able to determine what exactly in your life is the cause of your uneasiness, and together we will figure out how you can get rid of this. The methods I proposed in the article are working and effective, they work at the level of behavior and daily thoughts. But if you want to restructure your personality, only awareness and understanding of the root causes can help you truly change and become calmer.

You can find more information to get to know me better.