You can marry a Russian woman to an Armenian. Marrying an Armenian: the pros and cons of marriage, the procedure and conditions for the official registration of relations. Armenian wedding traditions
Perhaps, if there was no demographic problem in Armenia, then mixed marriages would not be perceived so painfully. But the fact is obvious - the further, the more married couples of different nationalities as one of the chances to leave the country. Moreover, often spouses are from different religious denominations. But to what extent are such marriages psychologically fulfilling? With this question, I turned to Vladimir Mikaelyan, Candidate of Psychology, Associate Professor of the Department of Social Psychology at YSU and Director of the Psychological Service Anima.
- A mixed marriage is a relationship between two cultures, a relationship between marital models and a relationship between parenting models. It would seem that the closer nations stand to each other - both territorially, historically, and spiritually - they should have fewer problems. It is easier for Christians of one nation to find a point of contact with Christians of another nation, because there is a common religious culture. And if there was a conflict in this mixed marriage, then it happened not so much between a man and a woman, but between their cultures.
Let us take the case when a girl is brought up in a Slavic cultural religious environment and, having married an Armenian, finds herself in a different Christian environment. What unites them? Christian worldview. It is not really specified - it is assumed. Therefore, if we are Christians, we must look at a number of circumstances around us in the same way. It turns out that this is not enough. Different cultures bring up different worldviews. That same Russian girl is faced with the fact that Armenians have much more taboo systems than Russians, although both are Christians. She cannot understand why her husband requires her to dress differently, so that in society she behaves differently, does not look at other men, does not talk to other men for a long time, prefer different dishes, and so on and so forth. If she does not accept her husband's conditions, there may of course be conflicts. And they arise, as a rule, at the level of everyday life. Practice has shown that it must take about seven years for the relations between spouses in mixed marriages to normalize, to get used to, so that the spouses can combine cultural, religious, family models. This is how a certain common worldview is formed - a common attitude towards life.
- In search of earnings, many Armenian men leave for the near abroad, and in particular for Russia. What is changing in their psychology?
- In Russia, an Armenian man tries to quickly adapt geographically, otherwise he will not be able to live there any longer. Over time, a metamorphosis occurs with him - by nationality he continues to be an Armenian, but in behavior, in his outlook, he is more like a Slav. There is a change in cultural identity - forced adaptation in a different cultural environment.
- What saves him?
- An Armenian man is saved by his own motivation. Actually, if he married a Russian and lives in Russia, what could be his most serious motivation? First of all, he wants to have Russian citizenship, and for this he endures all sorts of difficulties, sometimes he even abandons his family in Armenia ... Thus, he runs away from problems, knowing that for him in Russia the field of permits is wider. Russia is big - more possibilities... And in Armenia, on the contrary, there are more problems than solutions.
- Where does his patriarchal upbringing, patriotism, coupled with paternal responsibility go?
- Here, most likely, a protective mechanism is triggered: yes, he does not stop thinking about his children, about his family, but at the same time he hopes that if we, Armenians, have group thinking, then the relatives will help, they will not leave the family to disappear. The fear of returning is much stronger. And by the way, such problems most often arise in villages. In fact, it is rightly said that the less intelligence, the lower the responsibility, and vice versa.
- What motivates a Russian woman who agrees to marry an Armenian, knowing in advance that she will end up, say, in a family with established traditions and rituals?
- She is not fleeing Russia, she is fleeing to her personal happiness. A Slav in Armenia forms a family, trying to smooth out all corners of misunderstanding and rejection. On the other hand, in the Armenian environment, she acquires security that she cannot receive in her homeland. And most importantly, she knows that she will not face the problem of alcoholism, she is sure that her husband will take the main care of the family ...
- And the Armenian women are well aware of this trait of Armenian men, who take this fact for granted ...
- Armenian women have a need to sit in a “golden cage”. For her husband to take care of her, buy everything for her and help raise children. It is much more important for Armenian women to establish themselves in their social status; social order for them is above all. And mind you, the social scenario of our life and the scenario of life of the Russians are completely different. What is important with us? Graduated from high school, received a diploma, now you can get married. Some link has been missed - already a problem. Or she got married, but there are no children - again, the social scenario did not work, and problems cannot be avoided. If the script works entirely, then the woman considers herself happy. She considers, but does not feel, because she has fit into the social scenario of society.
- And when they leave their family and go to another marriage - does this mean a way out of the scenario of social life?
- Undoubtedly. By the way, Armenian men easily establish relationships with Russian women, because the latter do not build difficult obstacles, they are spontaneous and easy. And we must admit that for the Slavs this is a very good component of nature and soul - they very easily establish relationships, they do not have all these historically formed and almost genetic barriers. And in this sense, this is a great achievement of culture, ethnos. It is our inherent complexity in this matter, we put obstacles. We have this fear, protection, the desire to establish a guaranteed relationship, not to be deceived, not to burn out on something. This is the fear of learning from your own mistakes. We love to learn from other people's mistakes. But learning from someone else's mistakes means learning from someone else’s mistakes.
- Much is done in society today with an eye on the church. So the Armenian Church is against mixed marriages and does not bless marriages with foreigners ...
- The Armenian Church is against marriages, if it comes about another religion. In today's Armenia, populated by Iranians and Syrians, this is indeed a serious problem. I conducted polls among students on this topic: 90% of female students are against marriages with Muslims, but 10% admit this fact. That is, for 10%, the person himself is important, not his nationality, and 90% are fixated on nationality. This is already a phylogenetic, Christian heritage, and nothing can be done about it. True, here one must also take into account the fact that one can have an attitude, but act differently in real behavior. Installation should never be a priority. But if this still happened and a Christian woman married a Muslim, then she should know what she is doing. From the point of view of Islam, a woman is obliged to listen to her husband and show him full obedience, except when he demands something prohibited by Islam. At the same time, the holy book of Muslims, the Koran, calls on husbands to punish their wives in the event of their disobedience, disagreement, or simply in order to improve their character. The Koran says that one should intimidate, scold and beat one's wives when they do not obey ... As a rule, quarrels begin between the mother-in-law and the freedom-loving or stubborn Armenian daughter-in-law. Therefore, many marriages break up at the very beginning of life together. Most wives go back in such cases. But it also happens that women gradually come to terms with their role as daughter-in-law in a patriarchal family, adopt the norms of behavior adopted by local residents, learn the language and, ultimately, become completely Muslim. In order to keep the marriage going this way, she needs a lot of patience. In fact, if a woman marries a representative of another nation, a bearer of another culture, she moves away from the ethnic, national environment. Then they begin to consider her as their own and treat her well - however, only on the condition that she accepts Islam and observes customs.
In mixed marriages, the willingness of the spouses to adapt to each other is very important. It is very important that the spouses understand that marriage is not a confrontation, it is an attempt at merging. It is very rightly said that marriages are made in heaven; there are no accidental marriages. Even if it disintegrates, it is also no coincidence. After all, this marriage should teach a person something. The question is, what does everyone expect in this marriage? I believe that if a person is not adapted to his environment, he also does not adapt in a foreign environment.
Kari Amirkhanyan
Until recently, interethnic marriages in Armenia were concluded mainly between an Armenian man and a woman of a different nationality. So, if we are used to seeing Russian or Ukrainian brides since childhood, then European or overseas grooms for us are quite an extraordinary phenomenon. However, now more and more often you can meet Armenian women who have tied up or are going to link their fate with a foreigner.
This tendency is surprising because for many years, Armenian girls have basically chosen for their life companions exclusively "from among their own." Sometimes it took extreme forms. An Armenian woman who emigrated to other countries with her family as a child, as a rule, did not marry until she found an Armenian groom (perhaps that is why, with the advent of the Internet, Armenian dating sites became so popular).
What are the reasons for the new trend? In order to answer this question, we first talked with experts and conducted a small survey among our compatriots of various ages and sexes, and also listened to the opinions of foreigners who chose Armenian women as their wives.
A tribute to fashion or a need of the soul?
Many respondents agreed that the main reasons for this phenomenon are associated, firstly, with globalization, and secondly, with the disappointing socio-economic situation in the country. Seeing no prospects at home, people are trying to build their happiness in another country, which is especially facilitated by the development of the Internet. Moreover, in addition to directly dating sites on the "World Wide Web", a like-minded person can be found on all kinds of forums, blogs, various groups in social networks.
As psychologist Migrdat Madatyan notes, marriage is a good opportunity to go abroad. This opinion is shared by many of our interlocutors, adding that a woman in Western countries has more freedoms and is not burdened with the burden of patriarchal foundations, as in Armenia.
Of course, there is a certain percentage of girls who, marrying a foreigner, strive for an easier life abroad. However, upon closer examination, it turns out that most often marriage is concluded precisely for love.
At the very beginning, when various chat rooms and dating sites were just gaining momentum, mercantile interests may have prevailed. But over time and with integration, the realities have changed a bit. Now, more and more often, the union of an Armenian woman and a foreigner defines nothing more than a simple coincidence, in other words, love. Girls begin to appreciate understanding and compliance in foreigners, and those, fed up with Western feminism, highly value morality and devotion in Armenian women, and, of course, beauty.
"Armenian girls are smart and friendly. Besides, they are very beautiful and sexy. Dark hair combined with white skin makes them special," Alex from Australia, who took his wife Mariam from Yerevan a year ago, shared his opinion with us.
Alex considers the conservatism of our compatriots to be a possible obstacle in relations, but this same quality is highly appreciated by Michael, who for the sake of his beloved moved from Berlin to Yerevan.
"I hate immorality and licentiousness among women. Due to their high moral qualities, Armenian women are especially attractive to the stronger sex," Michael confesses ...
Another reason for this trend, the psychologist considers the unpretentiousness of Western men.
"The fact is that today's priorities have changed somewhat: European values dictate gender equality," says Madatyan.
The reason, he said, is that girls strive for equality, while young people in Armenia are more conservative.
"Today, equal relations in the family are being promoted, and the Armenian man is more conservative. But this does not mean that our compatriots have changed in the worst side", - stressed Madatyan.
The opinion of the psychologist is shared by almost all the girls with whom we had a chance to talk. Moreover, many of our interlocutors note the authoritarianism of Armenian men, which manifests itself with particular force in the family.
Gayane, who married an Englishman a few years ago, notes that, despite the general mentality, certain difficulties often arise in communicating with compatriots.
"At crucial moments in your life, you understand that the most, it would seem, loved one absolutely do not care about your feelings, or desires, or even needs or opportunities. "I want it so" period. It is difficult to build lifelong relationships like this, "says Gayane.
In her opinion, the tolerance and pliability of foreigners, in particular Europeans, are often mistakenly perceived as weakness, while this is far from the case.
"Such an important quality as the ability to understand many reduce to weakness, but this is by no means the case. On the contrary, a person must be very strong and self-sufficient in order to be able to neglect his own ambitions and whims and meet another. It is the lack of conflict and calmness that attract our women. to a European, Canadian, American or Australian. This is what conquered me in my future wife ", - said Gayane.
Armenian women are beyond competition
Another no less interesting trend of recent times is this: if earlier our compatriots were happy to start a relationship with a girl of a different nationality, now almost every young man prefers to see only an Armenian woman next to him.
“I can say for sure that if an Armenian manages to find a girl of his nationality who would meet his criteria both externally and in character, then no woman in the world will be able to replace her. I don’t know what this is connected with, but” with your "you somehow feel completely differently," admitted in a conversation with us Grant, who had lived outside Armenia for a long time, but has now arrived in Yerevan and is building serious relations with his compatriot.
When asked about mixed marriages, he gave almost the same answer as the majority of our respondents.
“I am not against our girls marrying an Italian, a Spaniard or a representative of any other developed country professing Christianity. It is very important that they create a family in Armenia, otherwise the nation will lose a lot ... As for marriages with Muslims - Arabs, Turks or other nations, then I strongly condemn it, "- says Grant.
As it turned out, there are both supporters and opponents of mixed marriages. Moreover, opponents see this as a threat to the future of the nation ...
It is noteworthy that many foreign suitors, even those who took place in their homeland, are not at all opposed to leaving everything and moving to Armenia. Some have already managed to do this (although the task, to put it mildly, is not an easy one).
Others are only considering a similar perspective. Be that as it may, such a desire often causes surprise and even bewilderment among the locals. Time will tell how mixed marriages will affect the mentality of our nation.
Has a hot Armenian guy won your heart at first sight? Yes, Slavic women are often dizzy by the temperamental sons of the Caucasus with their "wah-what" accent and ability to take care of them unusually beautifully.
The only question is how to get his attention and win his heart.
There are several strategic points that will allow you to fall in love with an Armenian man. Just be careful. What if he wants to steal you and take you home to the Caucasus?
If you're ready, let's go!
A man is a man in the Caucasus too
At first glance, the Armenians are more temperamental, passionate and cheerful than the men of the "domestic producer". It seems that they are ready to drink wine for days, while pushing long toasts and dancing to the sound of lezginka.
But, be sure, any man permanently wants home warmth, comfort and tranquility in the first place. And a woman for whom he will always be the most courageous, strong and reliable.
An Armenian, like everyone else, falls in love not with the woman herself, but with his condition next to her.
Therefore, in a relationship with a man, it is important to first ensure the latter. Show that it is better than with you, he will not be with anyone.
Thank him for the gifts (and eastern men are very generous), admire his actions, compliment him, be gentle and understanding.
I tell you he will not resist. And he wants to be by your side for the rest of his life.
Don't play with fire
It is believed that one way to win a man's heart is to flirt with jealousy. Only he will see that his woman is being taken away by someone else, will immediately inflame with passionate love and will win back. So, this is complete nonsense!
Most likely, he will think that you are a windy and unworthy cheater, and your favorite is an impudent person who dared to offend his pride. Well, he will decide to figure it out ...
In the best case - the case will end in a massacre, in the worst - in a stabbing. But be that as it may, you will fall in his eyes and lose the chance to fall in love with him.
Don't include a feminist
While charming, do not forget about the characteristic zest of any Caucasian man. He is impulsive and dependent on the opinions of his family and traditions.
In addition, he is always a leader and will want to dominate the relationship. Never let a woman pay on a date, so keep your wallet and your impulses with you.
And do not try to intercept the restaurant bill, because "you are not like that and for equality." For an Armenian, this is tantamount to an insult.
It is interesting that with all these advantages, such a woman often cannot arrange her personal life. Or she finds that she does not mind sitting on her neck and occasionally washing the dishes.
In the East, everything is different. Armenian wives are charismatic, capricious, but at the same time they recognize the primacy of the man in the family. They also have the right to work and wear trousers. But they always take his opinion into account.
It is noteworthy that marriages in the East are stronger and more durable.
If you want an Armenian man, be gentle. Show that you respect him. Do not start an argument, do not prove - be a woman.
If you disagree with him, use a woman's cunning - support him in his conviction, but then gently push him towards the desired solution. And this, by the way, is not manipulation - this is elementary female wisdom.
Don't go against your family!
Another feature of any Caucasian man is loyalty to the family. They always listen to the opinion of their father and mother and almost never go against their will.
Especially when it comes to it There are often cases when an Armenian, in love with a Slavic girl, left her only because his mother or grandmother did not like her.
When trying to win the heart of a Caucasian man, never speak ill of his family. Do your best to please them. Otherwise - no chance, no options.
Moreover, most likely, his parents are people of the "old school". Therefore, they are unlikely to be delighted with your new mini or translucent blouse. And follow the manner of communication.
Be humble, at least in their presence, try and, of course, avoid obscene language.
They will treat you: food, wine - eat, drink and thank. But do not lean too heavily on alcohol, although it is not easy to do this among Caucasians. Otherwise, the correct strategy will quickly disappear from your head.
At some point, you will realize that you are complaining about the fifth to his mother and flirting with a hundred-year-old grandpa.
When you meet your mom, watch her. Men, especially Caucasian ones, often idealize their mother. If he sees in you at least some resemblance to her, then he will become even more attached.
Fix effect
It really doesn't matter at all,. Everyone wants to see specific qualities and manifestations in a woman.
An Armenian, like any representative of the stronger sex, falls in love with a woman with whom he feels good and calm, with whom he feels like a real man.
Act according to plan, and very soon he will not be able to live without you. If I missed something, tell me in the comments what I caught an Armenian man myself.
Good luck,
Ksenia Litvinova, psychologist at FazaRosta.
“I have a second cousin who has been happily married to an Armenian for 9 years already. Their family is very friendly, a person is quite adequate. True, the wedding was exactly Armenian, with a bunch of Armenians who spoke their own way, including toasts, which the bride did not understand, with an offering of gold in huge quantities and not always new. There is another example - a relative of her husband married an Armenian. So patriarchy in all its glory, a woman even gave him a coat when she dressed. His family took the girl with hostility, in general, it all ended in a scandalous divorce after 10 years. "
“I have been married to an Armenian for 12 years and have three children. Frankly, they didn’t quite want to accept the Russian, but when they accepted it - as my own - it was almost like a mountain for me, even in front of my husband. The husband's family has lived in Yerevan for several generations all their lives (that is, they were not at all Russified). We have many friends and there are still Russian wives - and no problem. As for the language - never in a company, on a holiday, etc. if one of the Russian wives at the table does not speak Armenian, their order is like that - only in Russian, or first in Armenian, and then translation. No patriarchy, quite the contrary. My husband cooks, and more Russian is busy with the children. Although there are pitfalls: the Armenian mother-in-law. It will not be easy at first, but if you approach her with mind and heart, it will be like a second mother. "
“I was married to an Armenian from Baku. I loved him to the point of insanity, he too, youth ... But he walked like a dog, did not hide, raised his hands, then asked for forgiveness. After 4 years, sex came to naught, and the Armenian ambition only increased. Well, I sent him. He is now happy with the same hairy Armenian beauty, two children. I am grateful for having learned to cook from his relatives. I will say one thing - consider it my personal opinion - if you want to live in marriage without sex - go for an Armenian. They are enough for several years, then only for multiple mistresses, but not for a wife. Gave birth - free, so to speak. Sex once a month is good. Well, in general, hot blood - it cools quickly, especially to his wife. "
“Two of my friends are married to Armenians. And I must say, we would all have such husbands, girls. This is not just carrying wives in your arms - this is some kind of permanent adoration. Both are family, caring, they carry children in their teeth, everything to the house, everything to the family. And one is a military man, now they serve in the suburbs, there is a military service. The second graduated from the railway technical school, i.e. with education not quite there, all his life he works on the railway, like his late father - the dynasty with them. I love being in this family (we just live closer), I am charged there with such a frantic positive energy that later it seems to me that I will have such a family and such relationships in my life.
BUT! When I was young, I met an Armenian, and no matter how he called me to marry, I would not go. Purely for me, marriage with them is unacceptable. Although ... never say never. In general, you need to look at a person and listen to your heart. "
“A friend married an Armenian (she is Ukrainian, he comes from a family of refugees from Nagorno-Karabakh), but I understand that he is not a pure-blooded Armenian, there is a lot of blood mixed there. He sought her for a long time for 6 years, probably, she is 4 years older than him. His Armenian relatives were against marriage, openly at the wedding they said that Valya jumped into the last door of the last tram (although she is smart, she always studied well, she earned 2/3 of the money herself for the wedding. Now she is at home with 2 children. I was she is a guest: she is always irritated, there is not enough money (alas, this Armenian did not turn out to be a breadwinner). I suspect that he will fix a third one for her so that she, like his mother, would sit at home by the stove. "
Someone manages to attract the attention of an Armenian easily and naturally, while someone, despite all efforts and attempts, is defeated. So, let's try to answer the question: how to win the love of an Armenian man?
What is an Armenian man?
The character of an Armenian man
First we need to find out what exactly do we know about Armenian men?
The image of a fatal handsome man with an ardent temperament and a reverent attitude towards a woman has firmly settled in our thoughts. In fact, Armenian men do not really stand out among men of other nationalities. The Armenians are distinguished by a sharp change of mood, jealousy, unconditional charisma, loyalty to traditions, respect for family ties, hard work. These are the main characteristics obtained from women living or communicating with men of this nationality. Armenians living in Russian cities are more socialized than their compatriots living in their homeland. But it must be remembered that every person is an individual and people of Armenian nationality are no exception.
How to attract the attention of an Armenian man?
Before figuring out how to win the love of an Armenian man, you need to clarify how you can draw his attention to your person. There is no known fact that Armenian men prefer a certain type of women. Therefore, it makes no sense to repaint from blonde to brunette, lose weight or gain weight. An Armenian can be attracted to a woman by mystery, or the presence of a zest, which seems to be visible, but not unraveled. This way you can intrigue him and arouse his interest. If your meeting is casual and you would like to start a relationship with this person, do not impose on him in any way, try to gently push him to action and then very reluctantly give in to his request. Behave as unapproachable as possible, this will push him to further action because Armenian men are essentially conquerors. Mysterious, inaccessible and well-groomed appearance- your main weapon in the first stage towards the goal.
How to win the love of an Armenian?
How to fall in love with an Armenian
So, now you need to consolidate the result and move to a new level of relationship with the subject of your dreams. You need to try to tie him to yourself. Learn how to cook his favorite dishes and learn the Armenian language, this will flatter him and it will be much easier for you to communicate with his family when you further get to know your relatives and friends. And such an acquaintance will definitely take place. And in order for your relationship to become as strong and durable as possible, you need to please the parents of your Armenian man. It is the opinion of his family that will play a decisive role in your relationship. Whatever affection the young man feels for you, he will be able to break off relations with you if the family so decides.
If you are counting on a long-term relationship with your partner, then he will certainly be proud if you know his roots and understand all the "branches" of his huge family.
You will need to show your partner that it is he who plays a major role in your relationship, but do not let him rob you of his own opinion. This will cause him to respect you, and he will be proud that an independent girl recognizes him as the head of the relationship.
You shouldn't test his feelings with jealousy. Armenians, as a rule, are very jealous and you can expect a scandal at best, or a complete rupture of relations at worst.
Learn to respect your Armenian boyfriend. Show him your intelligence, understanding and admiration. An Armenian man will be proud to have such an intelligent and understanding girl. And most importantly ... If your relationship has grown into a serious one and you have reached your initial goal, express your love for him. After all, every person needs to be loved.
And in the end ...
You have worked hard to get the love of an Armenian man. What do you get in return? Armenian men, as a rule, are well-mannered, it is interesting to communicate with them, they take good care of them and show care. If you are planning to start a family with him, then, according to statistics, Armenians are good husbands, caring fathers who put family first. They respect the wife and her opinion.
