I fell in love with a friend's wife what to do. Fell in love with her husband's friend. How to keep your family together
Instructions
If you find yourself falling in love with your best friend's wife, first try to sort out your own feelings. Find out if they are serious or if you are just experiencing a fleeting sense of passion and ordinary physical attraction. This is the only way you can understand how to proceed in the future.
If your sympathy for your best friend's wife is a banal feeling of passion and lust, there is no need to ruin someone else's stable relationship. Imagine that you manage to achieve the location of the desired girl, you will take her away from your best friend, and after intimacy you will simply lose interest in her. By doing this, you will not only hurt the fairer sex, but also lose your most faithful friend.
If you realize that you truly love your best friend's spouse, you need to pay attention to the relationship of these young people. When harmony and harmony reign in them, any of your actions will cause only negative consequences. You can just ruin a good couple and again lose your loyal companion. Just instill in yourself the idea that when a person truly loves someone, he should not care about how he feels good. A man in love should want his loved one to be happy. Leave any attempts to get closer to your friend's girlfriend, let them enjoy each other and be happy. family life.
If you realize that your friend's wife is unhappy in marriage, you can start taking action. First of all, you need to talk to your best friend, apologize to him and honestly tell him about your feelings for his significant other. Say that you cannot do anything with them, since you have already tried to forget his spouse. Explain that it hurts you to see that your friend doesn't appreciate such a wonderful girl, and you could make her happy. However, be prepared for your friendship to end there.
After talking with your friend, you can start pursuing the girl. Surround her with attention and care. Make her understand that you are much better than her husband and are able to love and appreciate her. Confess your feelings. If a romantic relationship begins between you, most likely the woman will decide to divorce. Just remember that in the event that you still achieve your goal, you will have to take care of your beloved as the apple of your eye. Otherwise, all your actions will become in vain, and you will simply destroy it. happy life than arouse the hatred of the fairer sex towards you.
Women navigators are all beautiful, one better than the other. The one with bombs, this one with hematogenics, the third with something else.
But the male navigators are also very good.
Do you know why they are so wonderful and their letters are so much fun to read? Because this is a one-actor theater. They conduct dialogues in their heads, think over plans, create whole pictures, cinematic, full of complexities and meanings. And the second (the chosen one, in fact) at this time remains completely indifferent or he has his own story, which the navigator does not even bother to notice.
undercover_man
Hello dear Evolution!
Thank you for your hard work and invaluable blog materials and book. Thanks to what I have learned, I have changed for the better, and I don’t know how quickly and whether it would have worked out without you at all.
A year ago, I was an unhappy, stooped man with a downtrodden look. I went to the gym, gained several kilograms of lean muscles, straightened my posture, began to follow the image and feel that I am moving in the right direction in this resource. Just a month ago, I just wanted to write you a gratitude, but now I found myself in an unexpected and difficult situation for myself and I ask for your help.
I'm about 30, I live in Kazan. I have a beautiful daughter of 6 years old, she is going to the second grade. I am currently in the process of divorce. I seem to have managed to build a relationship with my spouse that allows both of us to help the child, and to act together for his good, without quarreling at the same time. So far it has been successful.
I was going to bring up a child, follow the image, work on myself in the sense of a profession.
And then I fell in love. Fell in love strongly. (And how not to fall in love, pumping up your image? Women with a large OZ begin to sympathize with you, in whom it is impossible not to fall in love. young man, so as not to fall in love with a woman with a higher OZ above the previous ones, who sympathizes with him)
Everything is fine, but there is a nuance.
I fell in love with the wife of a friend with whom we graduated from high school, college, and like the icing on the cake, which I witnessed at the wedding just last summer. I always liked her, but you never know who I like, it was always taboo, and I was married and did not think about anything like that.
Some time ago, we accidentally crossed paths. I felt sympathy on her part, I remembered my old emotions. She carefully began to talk about the emotional sphere, feelings, and it seemed to me that there was something more on her part than just sympathy. And at the same time, I felt that I was flaring up myself.
A week later, I confessed my love to her. Saying that I understand how fast and crazy it can look to her, but also saying that if I had doubts, I would never say so. (Male navigators, why don't you read Yesenin? He understood love as well as Pushkin. "They don't talk about love in words, they only sigh furtively about love and their eyes burn like yachons" and "You are mine - they can only say hands that tore off the black chador. "That is, you can talk about love, of course, but where are the eyes like yachons and the hands that tear off the chador? This is primary. You can't translate all emotions into chatter, especially into burdensome showdowns and dull conversations? Where is spontaneity? )
The next day she confessed her love, but I said that I didn’t want my words and feelings to press on her, and I don’t want her to say something under pressure, because I felt that somewhere there, in my words there were small forceps. (There is generally a pipe. The girl confessed her love, and he began to bore her and read her morality. Positive reinforcement is for everything good! - The main rule of relationships)
It seems to have calibrated correctly, because a day later, she confessed to her great sympathy and admiration. That is, she took the words back. Ok, I was glad that there was no crown and I see everything correctly. After all, I still had her sympathy, a craving for me, and this is already something. (Sits and thinks, bore)
The fact that her husband is my best friend was killing me. I had to solve this dilemma for myself because there was no going back after letting go of the feeling. Of course, I will no longer be able to be friends with him, and I told her that of the two I chose her, and I would choose her 1000 more times. He said that I would solve the issues of my status and raise my OZ so that I could offer her something worthy. My OZ in the economy is losing it. Not critical, but considering what kind of inertia I need to overcome, the best OZ or a huge SZ in her eyes will help me. Ideally, both. (That is, he decided to go and swing resources in order to offer her something someday. When she gives birth to two children from a friend or finds herself another lover)
I also explained that for me all this is very serious, I want a family and children, it is important for me that she does not lose other resources - parental approval, friends. (Here the navigator made her a strict suggestion that when they get married, have children, she should do this and that, this and that. He pushed the lecture for an hour and a half)
I didn't just say, but said what I thought and felt. (Ah, well then yes. Your thoughts and feelings are a real treasure)
A week later, I felt that the dynamics on her part was cooling down and decided to let go, but apparently he spoke in a very confused manner, besides, I saw that she was almost crying. She asked if we would see you tomorrow in response to my incoherent speech, and I couldn't say no. Apparently my hungry mouth tried. (That is, you should have refused her harshly? No, it is clear that jerking off is more pleasant, but if she no longer wants to know you, what will you jerk off to?)
Since that time, it has become very difficult for me to deal with my minus and switch, so as not to get stuck and annoyed with running and stickiness. On the other hand, I do not want to seem frostbitten, I want to show the ardor that is. Complicated. (It's hard to show ardor, being such a bore)
I am aware of my minus, it is difficult for me to fight with it, although I distract myself as much as I can so that it does not become ugly. Until recently, I felt a minus with her. Even smaller, but he was. (But after your lectures and lectures decreased, huh?)
However, now, I feel differently. She bluntly says that if I had offered her a choice now (had the opportunity) she would have refused. Because although we are all secular, society is conservative; my friend loves her and only a year has passed since the wedding; It is unlikely that the default (or the imbalance with its plus) is so cruel, I understand that for now, objectively, I can only hang on my ears, because the issues that I solve are not done in one day.
She talks about possible plans for the future, but purely hypothetically and in a key way, how terrible it will be and how upset her life will be. (For some reason she liked you and she wanted you at first. I don’t know how you got her through. Maybe the image was really well rocked, maybe she saw sincerity in you, maybe she imagined passion, maybe her husband was tired of you. for so long they had been negotiating about the future and edifying that she certainly cooled down, and realized that changing a boring husband for an even more boring friend is stupid)
She is a clean, decent person, I understand her arguments, but I'm not sure which is more, my "correct vision" or my crown. If I could offer her something right now, and I would hear such an answer, I would leave, but there is nothing to offer me now, and it would be simply stupid to agree to something incomprehensible (if I were so crazy that I would offer something incomprehensible). (Is there a member? I should have offered her a member at least, for a start. She wanted it. But now it's too late, probably. Missed the moment)
At the same time, as soon as I move away, she misses and calls me. And this is the most difficult thing, because one step from her side, I just jump and do 20. Although, now I seemed to be able to pacify it, distract myself and not do that. (So you are only interested in this jumping ability. But soon she will get tired of it, because there is no passion for this for her, no pleasure, and she has already fed her self-esteem a little)
I feel important to her. But I also feel how it breaks her between fear and feelings and I understand that, probably, such vacillation is not in my favor, the system will try to return to balance, and I do not weigh enough to swing it towards me. (It is interesting how the navigators imagine the beginning of the novel. This is how we discussed everything, agreed, planned for the future. A year later, a control meeting and you can start intimate life... Or first get divorced in the registry office, and then the first kiss?)
One day, we talked, and she said that sometimes she thinks that I am so good, and I need to meet with someone else, free. In response to my declarations of love. I was so disappointed and dumbfounded that I just closed my phone. I didn’t write anything, didn’t answer. And she began to write almost all day and all night, asking for forgiveness, saying that she felt bad. I understand that I got something like a spade. Then I did not think about it, but I was simply devastated and offended, I felt unnecessary. Seeing how she was suffering, I answered in the morning, maybe I had to wait, but I could not watch her kill herself, I could not wait coldly. (Well, yes, she kicked you off, you understood correctly. Correctly offended, and she reacted by raising your NW to the peak. But it was too cold to wait, you are already cold)
In any case, I saw a surge of tenderness on her part, she wrote so many things that she had never written before. By the evening of the same day, I felt that it was cooling down again, this effect was passing. In the evening, I said that I could not see how bad she was, that I would leave, but returned, because I love her and cannot live without her. If she had been silent, she would not have returned. The next day, there was nothing from her compared to the previous one. The feeling that I said too much was disappointing. (Of course, disappointed. Why did you begin to emphasize how bad she was and to indicate her pity? She thought that you felt bad, that you were offended, and you reassure her that you would return, as if it was she who was suffering for you. time they forget who the initiator is, from time to time it seems to them that they are being taken by storm)
On the one hand, I am needed, it’s boring without me, but on the other hand, they don’t love me. Or they like but don't say . This does not happen, I understand. I don’t think that a loving person cannot but say this. He will say. As I say. And she herself says that she needs time to fall in love, but even after falling in love, she does not know what she will do. And according to other indirect phrases, I understand that she herself does not know why she is communicating with me, because for her the option to change the status quo is unacceptable. (It feels like you are not a guy from the 21st century, but a young lady from the 19)
I love her. I understand that it is not in my power to make a person love me. It is in my power to create conditions when my OZ will be higher, and to raise the sympathy and attraction for me that is now. (Well, yes, you can do that. Raise the OZ, resume the correspondence in a few years. There was a shorter way: to catch the moment when the girl confessed her sympathy, and at first even in love, drag her on a date, drink champagne and kiss. romance and propose a serious relationship. But you did not go this way)
But I do not know how to do it and what exactly I can do.
Please help Evolution! (Kid, how can I help? Well, try to meet and hold her to your heart. Maybe her frequent heartbeats and hot tremors of her hands will return her that spontaneous feeling that first arose in her? Just not a single notation! better, say something simple, like "I love, I want, I will do whatever you want for you," and act)
Thank you again,
She has been married for five years. Maybe a little longer than five. We lived so as not to lie to you, in perfect harmony. Pavel is a very good husband. And our children are wonderful. We have four of them: two girls and two boys.
Pasha has a friend. His namesake. I heard a lot about him, but to see each other - did not see each other. And so, one Friday in July, my husband told me that the same Pashka, about whom he constantly talked, would come to visit us for a couple of days. I must admit it was very interesting for me to look at my husband's friend. The husband praised him very much. So much so that I did not believe that there are such men.
Pasha (husband's friend) arrived in the morning. By train. I took a ticket in a compartment because I hate reserved seats. He is a comfort man.
I fell in love with my husband's friend!
What a man! I just went crazy from him. It is a pity that my husband is so different. Sinful, but honest: a husband's friend is cooler than a husband. And it is sincerely a pity that they cannot be changed in places, somehow. I slept with my husband's friend. Yes, I slept. She got pregnant from him. But I won't tell him about it. Let my husband think (and be sure) that the child is from him. He wanted a son so much. And I, in general, really want children too. Oh, how I love this child, if you only knew! I gave birth to him, thank God, healthy and strong. I have sinned, but I speak and remember about God. I wonder if he'll forgive me
The husband does not know about anything?
I hope he doesn’t figure it out, because I don’t want such a turn of events. He loved Styopka (son) so much that I will not upset him. I'm a liar. But lying is good. Pashenka is a great dad. With him, the son will feel good and comfortable. Pasha's friend (the father of my child) went on a long business trip. I love him like a teenage girl: hot and ardent. I am glad that I have a son from him. This warms me up when my emotions "rule" me. When Stepan grows up, I will tell him everything. But not now. He is small at all, he will not understand anything at all. Sometimes, when Paul is not at home, I talk to him, I say how and what is happening in life. In response, he only "uguk" something or smiles. Ah, this is a carefree infancy and childhood! They have a minimum of problems.
I remember Pasha. I am even more worried about him than about my husband. Wrong, but I will not be misleading. Of course, I won't abandon my husband, but I would love to live with his namesake friend. I live. But - in dreams. Sometimes such dreams take me somewhere far, far away. And so I do not want to return to reality.
To love in silence is difficult to love
I want to scream for love. I want to admit that this is his child. I want him to steal my son and me. I want a lot - I'll get a minuscule. At least I should know where he is and whether he will be in our town in the near future. I want to look at him with one eye. Look to understand why I love him so much, why I can't live without him.
He doesn't show up. I'm afraid to ask my husband: you never know what he fantasizes. In general, I try not to talk about Pasha with my husband. If only in passing. I don't know what he thinks about this. It is important that there are no suspicions or scandals. I do not think that a child should hear all sorts of disassembly. You know, I'm glad that my husband's name is the same as the man I love. Otherwise, the "wrong" name would have jumped out. And it's scary to imagine how everything would end in the end. Pasha is terribly jealous. Well, it terribly gets me with jealousy. I don't want to hide from them. But there is nowhere.
He would kill a friend if he knew he was his son's dad.
I do not want such a tragedy. I avoid it. So far - it turns out. Although I'm sitting at home, and my husband is jealous. Well, I don't go anywhere! Why be jealous ?! To whom? To passers-by outside the windows? Witty and cool. I laugh. But not funny.
I knew I was marrying such a jealous man. But before meeting his friend, it seemed to me that he was the dream of my life. My dad says that everything is cognized in comparisons. I agree with this, as with anything else! I compared - I realized that I love a completely different person.
I'm hanging out on the Internet, looking for my son's dad
The search engine does not give its location. And I keep trying and trying. What for? For your son? Okay, I will not hide: for me - too. I miss him. And all thoughts - he, he, he.
How tired! Something completely I started myself. As a "little bit of a mess", not a woman. You need to look after yourself! Why am I giving up? I fucking hate myself. And how does Pashka put up with me? And he still hasn't said a bad word to me. Surprised and amazed. I take out a cosmetic bag, open it, find nothing interesting in it, close it, open it again. I'm nervous. I try to find my image - it is not. Lost, poor thing. And the mirror image is not able to give me hints. Launched case.
I love another, I live with another
I don't want reality. I want - a dream. But nothing remains. Just accept it. I'm trying. The son helps. The fact that he is is a huge salvation. I am glad to his birth. He is my love and joy.
I love, I want, I like my husband's friend . He wants me. What to do?
I have been married for about five years now. We lived just fine, we didn't know any troubles. Pavel is a wonderful husband. And our children are very kind. We have two boys and two girls. Pavel has one friend, his name is also Pasha. I had heard about him for a long time, but somehow I did not have to see each other. And so, one wonderful day, my husband tells me that the same namesake, about whom he talked so much, will come to us for a few days. I was all impatient, I wanted to take a quick look at that very elusive friend of my Pavel. The husband always praised him very much. To such an extent that I did not believe that such men existed. Pasha's friend arrived early in the morning by train. He took a ticket in the compartment, because he really does not like reserved seats. He just loves comfort in everything. Of course, we provided the conditions for the dear guest in our apartment. He didn't seem to be complaining. And so I, like a little girl, fell in love with my husband's friend!
What a man he was! I almost lost my mind when I saw him. And I really regretted that my husband was completely different. It is, of course, a sin to say so, but at least honestly. My husband's friend is much prettier and more confident than my Pasha. At that moment, I was so sorry that they could not be exchanged for each other. And I, because of my weakness, slept with Pasha, a friend of my husband. Yes, I did it. And ... got pregnant from him. But I will not tell him about the pregnancy. I want my husband to think that this is his child. He dreamed of a son so much. Yes, and I really wanted a child. I really love my baby, you can't even imagine how! My son was born, thank God, a healthy and pretty baby. I know that I have sinned, so I often ask God for help. I hope he will forgive me.
The husband does not know about anything, and does not even know. I think that he will not guess, and it will be completely inappropriate. He loves little son Styopka very much, so I won't upset him. I'm a big liar. But I'm lying for good. Pasha is a wonderful dad. With him, my son feels like a man, strong and smart. Pasha's friend, who became the father of my child, went somewhere far away on a very long business trip. For him, I have feelings that can not be compared with anything, I, as a teenage girl, go crazy about him. I am very glad that the child is from him. These thoughts warm me in those moments when it is hard for me. When Stepan grows up, I will definitely tell him who his real dad is. And now it’s too early, he still won’t understand. He is tiny at all, he is not up to adult problems now, he is only interested in toys so far. And sometimes, when my husband is not at home, I talk to my son, explain how and what happens in the lives of adults. And he only mumbles something in his own language at my words, he may smile. How good it is to be a small child! They don't have any problems.
I often think about Pasha, sometimes I worry more about him than about my husband. Of course, I am doing the wrong thing, but I will not hide it from him all my life. I will not abandon Pavel, but in my heart I dream of living with his namesake friend. More precisely, I already live, but only in dreams. Sometimes these dreams take me very far. And it's so hard to come back to reality.
It is very difficult to love and be silent. I want to shout about my love. I would like to tell Pasha that this child is from him. Sometimes I even dream that he would steal my son and me, secretly take away. I want a lot, but I don’t get anything, I live like this with hopes and dreams and I don’t see a way out. I should at least find out what is with him, how he is, and if he will suddenly come to our city someday. I want to look at him with one eye. To see and understand why I fell in love with this person so much, why I cannot live a day without thinking about him.
But he is not announced. And I'm afraid to ask my husband. Suddenly he will guess. We practically do not talk about Pasha with my husband. I don't even want to think about what he can do if he finds out. For me now it is important that he does not suspect me, and we do not scandal about this. I think that my son should not hear how we fight. It's even very good that my husband is called by the same name as the beloved man. And then suddenly the "wrong" name will suddenly pop up. And it's scary to even think about how it might end up in the end. My husband is very jealous. He gets so badly with his jealousy. I want to escape from his getting jealousy. But there is nowhere to run, I sit and say nothing.
I think he will kill his friend if he finds out that he is the father of the child. I don't want this to happen. And I delay the moment of truth as long as possible. So far, it turns out. I’m sitting at home, but my husband is still jealous. I don't go anywhere at all! What is jealous ?! More precisely, to whom? To passers-by on the street? The funniest. But sometimes, when it comes to absurdity, it no longer becomes funny.
When I got married, I knew that Pasha was so jealous. But until I met his friend, he seemed to me the dream of my whole life. Even my father says that everything in life is learned by comparison. And now I completely agree with him! I compared and realized that I do not love my husband at all, but I love his friend.
A life! What is life? Just a word, but how much meaning is contained in it. And how little we can change something in it. And now is not the time to philosophize. And so I want to give out something so unusual and clever. Learning to go to graduate school, or something ... For now, I'll just dream. Maybe, probably ... All around there is skepticism. But now I have completely different concerns. And these worries take everything from me free time... I don't even sleep much already. I didn't get enough sleep at all, even those around me noticed circles under my eyes that appeared from lack of sleep. Again the question arises: where will I get the money for plastic surgery to become a beauty again? I need to ask Pasha if he can give me his savings.
I often surf the Internet, all the time looking for my son's dad, I think, maybe at least I will find it there. But I can't find it. He probably doesn't want to be found. And I keep trying. For what? Yes, for the sake of Styopka at least. Okay, I won't lie, of course, more to myself. I miss him so much. Only he occupies all my thoughts.
How tired of everything! I didn't take care of myself at all. As the mouse has become gray, it does not look like a woman at all. You need to start watching yourself! Why did I put my hands down completely? I already hate myself. And how can my husband still stand me? And after all, I never heard a bad word from him in my direction. I am surprised at him. So, now I'll take a cosmetic bag, I'll open it. Damn, I can't find anything suitable in it, I close it, then I open it again and so on in a circle. I'm getting nervous. I want to find my own image, but I can't. He was lost somewhere. And the mirror doesn't help me at all. Oh, how everything is neglected. It was necessary to take care of yourself constantly, and not only when I was dressing up somewhere. It’s strange that I hadn’t thought about it before.
My husband recently bought me a whole mountain of all kinds of cosmetics. I was so happy with her that I decided to please Pasha too. Eyes ran away from a variety of shadows and lipsticks. But I pulled myself together, then my eyes got used to this disgrace. And I started to put a "marafet" on my face. When Pasha returned from work, he did not recognize me and was pleasantly shocked. He said that he was very proud that such a beauty lived with him. But you know, I myself understood it and believed it! If you believe, then everything will be so! I knew before that I was pretty attractive. The figure only fails a little, I recovered after giving birth. But this is also fixable. I’ll be a doll soon, you don’t know.
I love one, but I live with another. I don't want to live in reality. I want to be in the clouds all the time. I had no choice but to come to terms with my present. And the son helps to unwind. It is a great joy for me that I have my beloved son. And he is glad that he has a mother who loves him more than anything else. He still does not understand a lot, but the time will come, and he will find out the whole truth about mom and dad.
