At first glance: how to understand that this is love. And for life
", He replied in surprise:" Is there any other love? "
Agree, most of you, remembering your "life meetings", remember that for the first time when you met, there was already a premonition that something would connect you with this person, the feeling as if you met an old friend whom you had not seen for a hundred years. A force, unknown and incomprehensible, pulled you to him, and the whole world did so that you were together.
Chemistry and life
The question arises, why out of thousands of people who met on our way, it was this person who left such an indelible impression? From the first meeting with him, your body seemed to have received a shake-up, your heart was beating wildly, your body regained lightness (sometimes they say “wings have grown behind your back”), but is there an incomprehensible joy in your soul? There are many versions on this score.
Physiologists explain this with the help of the action of pheromones - special substances secreted by a person to attract the opposite sex. They are odorless, but affect certain receptors, cause strong emotions and sexual desire. Only one thing is not clear: why the pheromones of one person "cover you with a wave", and you are indifferent to others.
Anthropologists believe that love at first sight Is the literal meaning. The point is in the eyes, or rather, in their contact with the eyes of another person. They believe that this is an instinct that we have inherited from animals. The animal's gaze forces it to take a fighting stance and sends an impulse to the brain area responsible for the action - to approach or leave. People perceive such a shake-up as falling in love. Studies have been conducted where it was suggested that unfamiliar men and women, when communicating, look into each other's eyes with varying degrees of intensity. It turned out that a long look only increased the feeling of falling in love and aroused confidence in the partner.
If the person you like is staring at you, you respond in kind. As a result, love arises. And if you don't like this person, then you just look away and you don't feel anything for him.
Some psychologists, followers of Freud believe that a person has the first and brightest love appears in childhood- this is love for a father or mother. And after the girl, becoming women, they are looking for a man similar to their father, and men, respectively, a woman similar to their mother.
Therefore, if you had a good relationship with your father, then having met a man who resembles him in appearance or in details, you may suddenly be covered by a wave of "love at first sight." Or vice versa, if there was a conflict with her father, then the woman is looking for a man similar to him in order to end the dialogue and prove that she is better than he thought of her.
According to another verse, a woman is unconsciously looking for a man who looks like a man who once left an indelible impression on herself. It can be a neighbor's boy who rode her bicycle in childhood, a guy with whom she had her first love, or the first man in her life. Sexologists have come up with a term to describe this phenomenon - "the topography of love." As if the nicks of pleasure and pain that remain in our heart. Therefore, when we meet a person similar to the one who gave us joy or despair, we immediately fall in love - contrary to all logic.
When a woman is alone for a long time, in the circle of “wrong” men: low level of education, lack of culture, etc. She creates the ideal of her chosen one. And having met a man who, even if he fits a little with this image, she begins to experience feelings of love for him.
At times people fall in love in response to someone's feelings... If you are loved, you feel like a beauty, clever, you have a sea of healthy energy. And in response, you are ready to "repay" the same person who managed to raise your self-esteem in this way!
People who are fond of mysticism are sure that there are couples who have a karmic connection, which means that they will meet in a new life and they will definitely get to know each other. This includes lovers who were once separated. Or enemies who have not forgiven each other. Having met in a new life, they continue an unfinished dialogue.
Enlightenment
There may be more versions, but there is a question: is it possible to trust this feeling, which has arisen so suddenly?
There is no guarantee in love. All you can do is come to your senses from the feelings that have washed over you, turn on your mind and ask yourself questions: what do you expect from this person and is what is happening now real?
You are attracted to a man only physically, then think about what binds you apart from sex: education, interests, general social environment. Are you a graduate of the conservatory, and his favorite repertoire is radio "Chanson"? Alas, you may be guaranteed stunning sex, but you shouldn't hope for a long-term relationship.
Having lost your head from love, think: maybe he is a gigolo or a pick-up artist? Most men use different techniques to seduce a woman.
Perhaps you "tried" on a man the image that you drew for yourself, but it does not correspond to reality. And when you start to notice the dissimilarity to your image, you will become irritated. But if, being carried away by a man, you can see a person in him and love him just like that, 
as it is, then you can probably build the future with it.
Tired of loneliness, the woman of any man who pays attention to her begins to be perceived as ideal. This is mistake. There are no ideal people and you will not find a person who will fully match your invented image. Love from loneliness is perceived as an obsession.
It's good to fall in love with a man who already loves you. But there are two possible ways of development of events: you will fall in love in gratitude, which means that this romance will soon end, since both of you will love one person - you. But if your man pushes you to love him too, then your relationship has a future.
Together forever
Love that arose at first sight is no different from love at the second or six months later. Life is full of stories of love at first sight, in which everyone is happy. But there are other stories when people look closely for a long time, check each other's feelings, and having formalized a relationship, they get divorced in a couple of months.
If you fell in love at first sight - enjoy this feeling. And it doesn't matter what the continuation will be, the main thing is that you loved and were loved.
We have all seen romantic scenes in films when unfamiliar man and the woman's eyes meet and a romantic connection immediately arises between them. In fact, "love at first sight" has been the foundation for thousands of years. literary works, and even in real life people often claim that they manage to experience similar feelings.
In the course of the study, scientists tried to find out whether people can fall in love at first sight, or whether they begin to believe in it after they have formed a romantic attachment to their partner. The researchers also wondered if what people feel when they first meet can really be called love, or is it just a strong physical attraction. 
Previous Results
Previous research has shown that falling in love can occur in different ways, depending on what type of love a person is experiencing (for example, emotional, maternal, or passionate). It turned out that passionate love activates those connections in the brain that work when addiction occurs, and longer love triggers reactions in those areas of the brain that are associated with it. 
Also earlier, researchers found that at first sight every third person living in Western countries and this feeling is associated with more passion and stronger relationships. 
However, scientists had doubts whether love at first sight really arises at the moment of the first meeting, or whether people only assume this, looking back at their experience in relationships. 
Study of love
Scientists have collected data on 500 meetings between 400 participants. They were mainly heterosexual students from Holland and Germany, average age which was 20 years old. Using three stages of data collection (an online survey, a lab study, and three acquaintances, each up to 90 minutes long), the researchers obtained information about the encounters between prospective romantic partners. 
According to the participants, the scientists noted whether the participants experienced something similar to love at first sight, and how they rated the person who aroused those feelings in them. 
What the participants talked about
To determine what exactly the participants call "love", the researchers asked them to mark such components as physical attraction, feelings of closeness, passion and commitment. 
During tests 32 different people a total of 49 times they reported being in love at first sight, but they did not experience feelings such as closeness and commitment. At the same time, physical attraction came out on top when it came to love at first sight. 
Although 60 percent of the study participants were women, the study authors say that men were much more likely to report having love at first sight, and in each case the experience was not reciprocal. This allowed scientists to assume that instant and mutual love at first sight actually occurs very rarely. 
Attraction or love?
Thus, the authors of the study determined that love at first sight is, in fact, just a "strong initial attraction", which people are used to call love, either the moment they felt it, or analyzing this situation later. And while even some researchers in relationships themselves said they fell in love at first sight, it's hard to say for sure if it really happened exactly as they remembered it. 
Scientists write that the answer to this question will require further study to see how this initial strong feeling of love at first sight develops in the future.
Lera is an ordinary girl of 16 years old. She lived in a small village, the population of which was about 8-10 thousand people. The girl grew up in a family with not very great income, she was not used to luxury. Vlad was also 16 years old, his parents were very rich. He and his parents lived in the center of Moscow in a huge apartment, their house was always full of guests. The boy got tired of this fuss from childhood, he wanted peace of mind.
Summer day. Lera went to her beloved birch, not far from the river. Passing a house next to the same river, the girl saw HIM. HE was lovely. Black hair, green eyes and a beautiful, charming smile. It was love at first sight. Lera came to her beloved meadow and sat down, leaning her back on a birch. The girl sat and thought about HIM. Time flew by quickly, Lera was about to leave, but suddenly she heard some steps. She turned around and saw the same guy.
- Hello. What are you doing here? - HE asked.
- This is my favorite place, I often come here. - answered Lera.
- My name is Vlad. I just moved here. Will you show me your village?
- Very nice, and my name is Lera. Of course, let's go, I'll show you everything there is.
They walked around the village and chatted about everything in the world. A week later they started dating.
They had a perfect relationship. September 1. Back to school. They came to the line together. Having moved to her village, he transferred to her class. And suddenly Vlad saw HER, the most beautiful girl their class. He fell in love. Her name was Dasha. They began to meet in secret from everyone. He led a double life. This lasted 2 months. Soon Dasha and Vlad got tired of hiding their relationship. The guy decided to part with Leroy.
- Hello, Ler, hello - Vlad said on the phone, trying to make a gentle voice.
- Hi dear.
- Let's meet? I need to tell you something.
- Come on, I also have something to tell you.
- Will you meet as usual at our birch?
- Yes Dear.
He walked a little sad, she walked beaming with happiness. Vlad and Lera met. The girl threw herself on his neck, he hugged her slightly.
“Vladik, I'm pregnant,” Lera quietly whispered in his ear and cried with happiness.
Silence
- Are you serious? - finally asked the guy
- Yes
- And how long?
- 3 weeks
- Ler, you know, it seems to me that we need to part. I love another.
- And what about our child? - Lera asked and tears rolled from her eyes.
- Do you want me to give you money for an abortion?
- No, I want to give birth to a child and raise him with you, we will get married and be happy !!!
- I love another. I'm sorry - said Vlad and just left.
Lera was no longer crying, she was crying. I love him and I cannot live without my beloved - it flashed through the girl's head. Lera walked towards the railroad. She got on the tracks and waited for the train. The girl didn’t want to cry anymore, but the tears themselves rolled from her eyes. Lera heard the sound of wheels and saw an approaching train. She was not afraid, she wanted it.
The next day, an article appeared in the newspaper: railroad found dead girl. Her body is too disfigured for her to be identified. The examination showed that the girl was pregnant. The fruit died. Vlad immediately understood who he was talking about.
Lord, I killed my love and my child - the guy yelled and ran out of the house. He ran to their favorite place, the guy sat there all day, came home long after midnight.
Vlad came to Lera's funeral, dressed in all black, he cried for a long time
Winter. Vlad came to the grave of his beloved. In his hands was a huge bouquet of blood-red roses for Lera and a teddy bear for their unborn child. Suddenly his legs gave way, he fell on the grave to his beloved. The guy began to remember their first meeting. He cried. Hours passed. He fell asleep.
In the morning the watchman found him dead
Did you fall in love with a person when you first saw him? Were you ready to go with him to the ends of the world, feeling that you have known each other all your life? Love at First Sight: Myth or Reality?
Life has proven the opposite to me:
I never believed in love before. Probably because she has not met me. The girls considered me a womanizer, a charming interesting man and I matched this image. I really liked the fair sex; did not have time to answer the calls of the young ladies in love. But none of them touched the strings of my heart - in my soul I remained alone. I liked some girls, I had sympathy, but not for long. I was even disappointed in the relationship between a man and a woman: everything is so boring and not interesting. I also tried to fall in love, to look at the girls with different eyes, to appreciate their merits, but you can't be cute by force, it didn't work out: Friends did not understand me, they said. The guys envied me and did not understand that even Don Juans wanted to find their soul mate. Only I no longer believed in miracles.
Tired of love affairs, I took a vacation and left for Berdyansk so as not to see or hear anyone. As soon as I arrived and found a place to live, the weather turned bad, and my soul became sad. I didn't know what to do with myself: I went to look at the sea, drank beer, read in the house. During the day, I was tired of everything. Depression began. In order not to think about the sad, the next day I went to the cinema for a film. The film did not make an impression, everything was also boring.
And so, when I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for a minibus, I saw a girl who was dancing in the rain. She was obviously cold, because she was so lightly dressed. I don’t know how she caught my attention. At first I appreciated the figure, because I saw her from behind. I really liked Backside and decided to get to know each other. But the girl was silent. I stepped aside. It turns out that she did not hear my proposal then. I approached again and again insistently asked:
I didn't have time to say anything else, I didn't even give a compliment as usual. I saw her eyes and froze: I have never seen such attractive green eyes. I began to be drawn to the girl like a magnet, I couldn't get enough of her. She also looked at me, unable to look away. We came to our senses when the line literally pushed us into the minibus. Olesya, that was the name of the stranger, suggested:
.
I gladly agreed. And so happiness sat in my arms and chirped about itself. Olesya, of course, is an attractive girl, but for me she is the most beautiful woman. I was bursting with such pride, as if the Queen was sitting on my knees, as if on a throne. I wanted the passengers to look at us and envy us. Her Majesty Olesya was invited to my recreation center. On the way, she told me that she was also resting alone.
We arrived, had lunch, walked along the embankment and did not have time to recover when night fell. Time flew by indescribably fast. The minibuses were no longer running, it was hard to catch the car. And we decided to go on foot. To shorten the path, we went through the reeds. I don't know how long we walked, but it was so good for us, it was easy together, that I was ready to walk all my life. I walked Olesya home, and then miraculously caught the car and came to my base. Even in a dream, Olesya stood before my eyes: I realized that I had fallen in love. I have never felt anything like this before.
In the early morning I was with her. It is not known where the strength came from, I could not wait to see her. The weather, like my mood, improved, the sun was shining. We went to the sea to swim. Suddenly they saw that a man was drowning (it was stormy that day). I rushed to his aid, and although I swim well, the man was very heavy. Olesya hurried to my aid and we pulled the man ashore. What we experienced that day is impossible to describe! This was my second birth, if not for Olesya, I would have gone to the bottom with that man! She saved us! I kissed Olesya, pressed her to me and more and more realized that I could not find such a woman. But only 2 days have passed.
My vacation flew by like one day. I had to go to Kiev, go to work. Olesya accompanied me to the bus. At first she smiled, cheerfully recalled the days spent, and near the bus she could not hide her tears. It was unbearable for me, too, to part with my beloved, even for a week. I thought I'd pay it myself, but I'm a man.
I went to work, and all the thoughts about Olesa, I can’t live without her. Olesya also returned from the sea. But not to Kiev, but to my home, to another city. We called each other every day. I spent most of my salary on negotiations, but how glad I was to hear her voice. I could not wait for Olesya to come to me. Then I rented an apartment with a friend, but I was looking for a new one for Olesya and me.
That day, my knees even trembled, and I felt hot. She came, my love! I went to the station by taxi, as luck would have it, I got stuck in a traffic jam, and you can't warn Olesya: she didn't have a mobile then! I was 20 minutes late and the train arrived ahead of time. When I flew up with flowers, tears appeared in Olesya's eyes: she no longer knew what to think. I think every time I saw her, I fell in love even more.
For a year now we have been living in civil marriage... Love, of course, cannot be measured, but my feeling for Olesya became much deeper. I don't even look at other girls, why do I need them if I have a loved one?
By the way, Olesya says that she does not recognize herself: she has never been as brave as she was with me in the minibus then. And she does not understand how she went with an unfamiliar man through the thicket of reeds at night. I don't recognize myself either, because I fell in love.
From a biological point of view, love at first sight is the most effective form of love. If, when two people meet, love arises at first sight, this becomes clear within 30 seconds. And the first to fall in love, as a rule, are men. According to research, love at first sight is an inexplicable attraction to each other of two complementary partners. For people to feel such an attraction, to come into emotional contact, they need to see the features in their partner that they lack. They love by difference, by contrast, even by the antagonism of inclinations, when the qualities of one are replenished, neutralized or corrected by the qualities of the other. Appearance, voice, gestures, smell are of particular importance. This fact explains why tall men petite women are often fond of, and black-haired and brown-eyed southerners fall in love with blue-eyed blondes. Such a matrix of sympathies and drives works flawlessly not only in humans, but also in animals. Choosing a puppy for himself, the future owner immediately chooses. When a puppy grows up, he becomes like his master.
If love at first sight develops into a deeper feeling, as it was with Pasha and Olesya, it means that the partners fit together at the genetic level, which means that the child from such a union will be born healthy and intellectually gifted.
If you are overwhelmed by such a sudden feeling as love at first sight, it means that nature has probably selected a genetically suitable partner for you.
