Self-justification from a psychological point of view. Self-justification drives away the grace of God from us Geronda, so what is the reason for self-justification
Whether we like it or not, people for the most part are such that they prefer to evaluate all their actions and deeds exclusively from the positive side. In everyday life, we constantly try to justify ourselves, reduce the degree of our guilt, or completely throw off the burden of responsibility from our shoulders, often shifting it onto others. A life position consisting of constant self-justification leads a person to always turn a blind eye to his shortcomings and weaknesses, to the point that he may gradually stop seeing them.
However, some psychologists consider this phenomenon as one of the most important protective mechanisms that protect the human psyche from the influence of negative circumstances. Thus, in fact, if not inevitability, then a kind of necessity, at least in some cases, of active self-justification is allowed.
In the Orthodox consciousness, self-justification is a disastrous sin
In the Orthodox consciousness, self-justification is a disastrous sin. The meaning of this vice is that a person does not see, or rather, does not want to see his guilt, does not recognize his sinfulness. In the eyes of other people, such a person tries to look unsullied, at the same time considering himself a standard in all respects. All this suggests that the basis of self-justification is the passion of pride, that is, the exclusive isolation of a person on his own person. With this understanding, it seems to him that everything revolves around him, everything is drawn to him, and he feels himself at the center of everything and gives everything the impulse of life. In such a state, a person ascribes the truth only to himself, and considers everything that disagrees with his opinion not worthy of attention, wrong and unfair. By removing the blame from himself, such a person makes anyone or anything the culprit of troubles and grief.
Holy Scripture shows that self-justification is the result of the Fall. In response to God’s question to Adam about whether he ate from the forbidden tree, Adam does not dare to tell the truth, does not follow the path of repentance, but begins to justify himself, shifting the blame to Eve and then to the serpent. This is how the desire to see sin in another person arises, trying not to notice it in oneself. It seems that many people are familiar with this condition. It manifests itself especially clearly in confession. And then this kind of confession itself becomes a sin and testifies against us before God. Priest Alexander Elchaninov, noticing this feature, said that if a person seeks self-justification during confession, makes attempts to explain to the confessor “mitigating circumstances, refers to third parties who led him into sin, [if his behavior shows] a lack of deep repentance (without tears), continuing to remain in sin, all this speaks of self-love.”
According to the thought of St. Paisius the Holy Mountain, one who seeks justification for himself in everything is in a “false state... and drives away Divine grace from himself.”
Self-justification is the core of pride, and therefore pride. In order to begin to fight self-justification, a person must first of all admit that he has this terrible illness, see it in himself and be inspired to fight it. An important ascetic activity that can help a person in this struggle is self-reproach. The Holy Fathers consider self-reproach to be part of smart action that counteracts “the painful property of fallen human nature, according to which all people try to show themselves as righteous.” Great benefit will come to a person when he begins to justify others and reproach himself. In this case, he will look for the causes of all troubles in himself, his sinful inclinations, falls, and not in external circumstances and the actions of other people.
When it seems that injustice is everywhere, and a person, being convinced that he is right, is offended and indignant at others, it is important not to dwell on this, but to direct his thoughts in the right direction. You need to find the cause of problems not in others, but in yourself, remember all your past sins and begin to mourn them in your own soul. It is important to seek excuses from God, rather than making excuses before Him.
No one can make excuses
that he seemed to want to, but could not,
for, undoubtedly, he could not because he did not want to.
Saint John Chrysostom.
Self-justification is an obstacle on the path to salvation
There is no sin that will not be forgiven if we repent of it. “I tell you,” says the Lord, “that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent” (Luke 15:7). “Those whom I love, I rebuke and punish. So be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me” (Rev 3:19-20).
With self-justification there can be no repentance; and without repentance there can be no salvation. True repentance is incompatible with self-justification.
When God asked Adam: “Have you not eaten from the tree from which I forbade you to eat?” Adam did not say: “Yes, my God, I have sinned,” but immediately began to justify himself: “The wife whom You gave me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.”
Thus, Adam believes that if there had not been Eve, created by God, then Adam himself would not have sinned.
God asked Eve the same question, but she also began to justify herself: “The serpent deceived me” (see Gen. 3. 11-13) (1).
Those. both tried to justify themselves and were expelled from Paradise as a result.
When making excuses, a person is disingenuous
Man has two sources of sin: the flesh and pride. And from them grow “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1 John 2:16).
The Monk Silouan of Athos expresses the following judgment: “Every person in every matter can say a lot in his own justification, but if he looks carefully into his heart, he will see that, while justifying himself, he does not avoid wickedness. A person is justified, firstly, because he does not want to admit that he is, at least partially, the culprit of evil in the world; he is justified because he does not recognize himself as gifted with God-like freedom, but only as a phenomenon, a thing of this world, and therefore dependent on it. There is a lot of slavishness in such a consciousness, and therefore making excuses is a slavish thing, and not more godly” (2). The most paradoxical thing about self-justification is that a person, by justifying himself, does not gain what he wants, but loses, although this is precisely what he strives to avoid.
Self-justification is a passion that manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes a person tries to protect himself from any attacks or accusations by excessive verbosity. But from a spiritual point of view this does not give any results.
In part, a person looks for excuses for himself, to calm his conscience. He can make excuses in order not to lose his dignity in the eyes of others. Moreover, he can do this without even thinking, without realizing, and therefore, without any logical explanation.
It is easy to humble yourself before God, it is much more difficult to humble yourself before people.
Indeed, it is this ability or inability to humble ourselves before our neighbors that shows how right we are in our spiritual life. In everyday life, we need to force ourselves to be attentive to how we behave, what our reaction is when we are reprimanded, when something unpleasant is done to us, and especially when someone accidentally (or intentionally) deeply wounds our pride.
“The deceit of conscience in a passionate person is great and subtle. In religious life, a person possessed by passion often presents it as a search for truth and benefit, and often as a struggle for the glory of God. In the name of Christ, who gave himself up to death for his enemies, people are sometimes ready to stand even to the point of blood, only the blood not of their own, but of their “enemy brother” (3).
Self-justification and humility
Self-justification and humility are simply incompatible. Humility is associated with repentance. So can we truly repent without humility?
If a person humbles himself by performing various obediences, trying with all his heart to serve and be lower than his neighbor, then the Lord helps him.
Vladyka Varnava (Belyaev) punished: “I do not demand anything from you: neither abstinence from food, nor sleeping on the bare floor, nor many and long prayers, just reproach yourself for everything and always. Here is my advice and my heartfelt wish... You must always consider yourself guilty of everything, even if you have been accused unfairly. You must realize that the Lord sent this to you because of some sin that was committed, perhaps, many years ago. You must always reproach yourself, humble yourself to such an extent that, regardless of the offense inflicted on you, you can always say: “Forgive me!” This is the shortest path to acquiring grace, while all others are very long. And if this path does not require guidance, then for others it is simply necessary” (4).
Above all, we need patience. True (spiritual) patience gives the soul perseverance in the pursuit of prayer, perseverance in the fight against passions and in the desire to acquire the Gospel virtues.
Further, if someone really tries to be patient and, with God’s help, gains perseverance, the next important step that the holy fathers talk about is courage. Courage is the determination to lead a spiritual life and wage spiritual warfare, invisible warfare, of a very special kind.
Courage means the determination to follow Christ and fight against all obstacles along the way. This means overcoming all the barriers that our passions and the devil put between us and the Lord. And then patience becomes not a passive feeling (sometimes the word “patience” is associated with “sit and wait”), but an active action.
It is very important not to allow irritation to penetrate our hearts, since a person may refrain from speaking, but at the same time his heart may not be at peace.
For some reason, when someone feels offended, feels inner pain, they lose heart.
Why?
Because there is a wound inside. But what exactly is injured?
Our pride, our pride, the very things we are fighting against.
In fact, we must desire these wounds, since without them it is impossible for us to receive healing. These wounds are like medicine, they heal us.
The most important quality for a Christian is humility before God and before one’s neighbor as a bearer of the image of God. Learning to humble ourselves before God, before His all-good Providence, which acts in relation to us, our family, society and the whole world, to humble ourselves before our neighbor, who is the image of God, is the most important thing that a person should strive for. Because Scripture says: “...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Pet 5:5). Humility is the path to God. If we do not exalt ourselves, but humble ourselves before our neighbor, then we thereby honor the image of God in him.
About compulsion and responsibility
There is a well-known old saying: “He who has achieved the cutting off of his will has reached a place of peace.” For he, having diligently tested, found that the root of all passions is self-love” (5).
The proximity of the Kingdom of God, the Kingdom of Heaven, to us does not mean that we should not repent, we should not force ourselves to find it.
The Savior told us: “...The kingdom of heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it by force...” (Matthew 11:12) (6).
If we refuse this compulsion, then it may happen that we do not know and do not acquire what, it would seem, is already ours and what is actually already inside us. And we, due to our own laziness or despondency, will remain outside this Kingdom and will cry and gnash our teeth, but it will no longer be possible to return it.
Whoever has not acquired or tasted at least partly the good of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, within himself, will hardly know and acquire it in the future life. The one who is saved approaches it, acquires it now, feels it within himself. And if this is not the case, then from what can we understand that in a future life a person will have these benefits? After all, in this life he did not fulfill what the Savior said, and did not feel what he should have felt.
If he did not repent, did not force himself, if he did not feel that the Kingdom of Heaven was approaching, it means that he did nothing to acquire it in eternity.
Everyone needs to repent: both those who have grave, great, obvious sins, and those who think about themselves that they have no special sins, but who in fact, with their whole being, with all their thoughts, with countless movements of the soul, repeatedly deviate from the commandments evangelical, from the dictates of one’s own conscience.
Everyone needs repentance, everyone needs to bring the Kingdom of Heaven closer to themselves through changing their being, soul, mind, heart and even the flesh itself.
Yes, the Gospel says that the Kingdom of Heaven is already at hand. But it can, figuratively speaking, pass us by. It is close, but we may not feel it or know it. The Savior also said: “...The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21).
The Kingdom of Heaven does not need to be sought in some external manifestations, in circumstances that, as it naively seems to us, are favorable to our salvation.
If a person sees his guilt and realizes that he alone is to blame, and not someone else, for the fact that he does not live according to the Gospel, does not bring such repentance as the saints of God brought, then such a person, reproaching himself, is already capable of sincere repentance, self-correction and full obedience to the Lord, where there is no place for doubt, no place for advice with “flesh and blood” or with any of the people similar to oneself. There is only self-sacrifice, service to the Savior Lord Jesus Christ.
That we will be responsible for our actions is taught not only by the Gospel, but also by our common sense itself.
A person consists of soul and body. He sins and does good deeds not only with his soul, but also with his body. Therefore, he must bear responsibility for his actions both in soul and body.
Both torment and bliss will be not only for the soul, but also for the body.
In holy people, the body will shine with grace in the most obvious, frank way. It will become beautiful and with its radiance will be like the sun, or the moon, or the stars. Now we say in a figurative sense that a person’s face glows when he is happy or experiencing some kind of joyful prayerful state, but in the future life not only people’s faces, but also their bodies will glow, in the most literal sense of the word. Conversely, the faces and bodies of sinners will always be dark and emit a stench.
1.Bible. Books of the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments. - M.: RBO, 2000.
2. Sophrony, hieromonk. Venerable Silouan of Athos. - Essex: Patriarchal Stavropegic Monastery of St. John the Baptist, 1990. - P. 52.
3. Ibid. - P. 86.
4. Hieromonk Damascene (Orlovsky). Martyrs, confessors and devotees of piety of the Russian Orthodox Church of the twentieth century. Biographies and materials for them. - K.1. - Tver: “Bulat”, 1992. - P. 47-85.
5. Avva Dorotheus. Soulful teachings. - Moscow: Moscow Compound of the Holy Trinity Sergius Lavra, 2000.
6. Bible. Books of the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments. - M.: RBO, 2000.
7. Ibid.
Alexander A. Sokolovsky
based on materials Our Psychology magazine, February 2012
If I initially accepted myself, then naturally I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. Because in my view of the world I am always right, always unique and always exist.
Psychologists consider self-justification to be one of the most important conditional adaptive mechanisms. Since man is a fundamentally contradictory creature, he always has internal problems. Because I always want more than I can, that is, “I am ideal” and “I am real” are always different. Therefore, an ordinary person always has internal dissatisfaction because he is not what he would like to see himself as.
On the other hand, those around us are also always unhappy with us, both people close to us and those distant. We will never be able to completely “please” everyone; they will always want more or different from us. In such a fundamentally contradictory system, a unique coping mechanism is activated, which makes it possible to justify oneself from all conceivable positions. We can say that our whole life is an attempt to justify ourselves, our own activities, our goals, ideas to other people and to ourselves.
Self-blame is the other side of the self-justifying mechanism. In a psychoanalytic approach self-accusation is aggression that is not directed at others due to the impossibility and lack of right to do so - it is directed at oneself.
How to unlearn the habit of self-flagellation? Ravil Nazyrov gives paradoxical advice. Let's do an experiment. Take some very bad action, from your point of view. Absolutely immoral, monstrous, unworthy of justification, violating all moral principles. After this, “present”, show this act to a hundred other people - with a request to evaluate how they will react to it. It turns out that approximately 10% of people are outraged by this act, 10% admire it, and 80% actually do not care at all. Second step: act in exactly the opposite way, like a highly moral person. Moreover, you need not just not to kill anyone, but to save, not only not to cheat on your husband, but to prevent, for example, your girlfriend from cheating. And again ask a hundred experts to evaluate this action. I can absolutely say that in this case it will be the same, only some 10% will criticize and hate, the other 10% will admire, and the remaining 80% will say that all this is nonsense. Thus, after performing 6-8 such actions, you will come to the conclusion: whatever we do, by and large, will certainly leave the same number of supporters and critics
What is fashion? This is the discovery of some unique act that a person is capable of performing over a long period of time. The couturier was able not only to make one dress, but also to create an entire collection and present it to everyone. If there is any logic to this, it will become fashionable very quickly. Next season he will do the exact opposite collection - not white top and black bottom, but the other way around - but it will again be admired because he shows integrity.
What is education? This is an attempt to teach the child to justify and punish himself as is customary in the family.
What is training? This is an attempt to force a person to recognize and justify existing trends in science and criticize others.
What is a job or business? An attempt to justify what is happening in professional activities the way the boss does, and to criticize competitors.
What are metaphors and “catch phrases” of great people? These are succinct statements that tell us what needs to be justified and what needs to be criticized.
What is psychotherapy in this sense? Psychotherapy helps a person take some action on himself to become aware of successful strategies of self-justification and self-blame, which will clearly distinguish him from others. The therapist helps the client learn to do this more gracefully, without quarreling with himself. Actually, the psychotherapist teaches you to “lie” beautifully to others, and not to yourself.
Full version of the article.
Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets
About the fact that self-justification drives away the Grace of God from us - Self-justification hinders spiritual success
Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets of blessed memory (1924-1994): “ WITH self-justification has nothing to do with spiritual life. It is necessary to understand that when I judge myself, I am in a false state. I cut off my connection with God and deprive myself of Divine Grace. After all, Divine Grace does not come to a person who is in a false state. From the moment a person justifies something for which there is no justification, he separates and isolates himself from God. The space between man and God is filled with insulating material, like (spiritual) rubber. Can electric current pass through rubber? No, it can’t, it’s impenetrable to current. Likewise, for Divine Grace there is no stronger insulating material than self-justification. By justifying yourself, it’s as if you are building a wall separating you from God, and thus breaking off all connection with Him...
A spiritual passing grade is a humble admission of one’s mistake, as well as a refusal to justify oneself, at least when a person is pointed out what he is guilty of, and he admits his guilt. Well, not justifying yourself when you are accused of something that you are not guilty of is already an A plus.
The one who justifies himself not only does not succeed, but also does not have inner peace.
The reason that a person justifies himselfis his selfishness
- Geronda, if I don’t find justification for the actions of others, does that mean I have a hard heart?
“You don’t find excuses for others and you find excuses for yourself?” But then very soon Christ will not find an excuse for you. If a person behaves viciously, his heart can become hard as stone in an instant. And if he behaves with love, the heart can become very tender in an instant. Win your mother's heart! How a mother behaves: she forgives everything (to her children) and sometimes pretends not to notice (their pranks).
The one who correctly performs spiritual work on himself finds extenuating circumstances for everyone, justifies everyone, while for himself he never seeks justification - even if he is right.
...After all, if you dig deep, you can find so many shortcomings in yourself! Then justifying your neighbor will become very easy. How much wood we have broken! “Remember not the sin of my youth and my ignorance, O Lord”(Ps.24:7).
The devil is very crafty. He knows his craft simply beyond compare. So, isn’t he using his many years of experience? It is he who incites you to make excuses so that you lose the benefit of the good you have done.
If they make a remark to us and we immediately begin to justify ourselves, this indicates that worldly wisdom is fully alive in us.
- Geronda, so what is the reason for self-justification?
- In selfishness. Self-justification is a fall; it drives out the Grace of God. A person must not only not make excuses, 
but also to love the injustice that is being done to him. After all, what if not self-justification expelled us from Paradise? Isn't this what Adam's fall was all about? When God asked Adam: “Perhaps you have eaten from the tree from which I forbade you to eat?” Adam did not say: “Yes, my God, I have sinned,” but began to justify himself: “The wife whom You gave me, gave me from the tree, and I ate." Thus, he is the same as saying to God: “It is You who are to blame, because You created Eve.” But was Adam obliged to obey Eve in this matter? God asked the same question to Eve, but she also began to justify herself: “The serpent deceived me” (See Gen. 3: 11-13). If Adam had said: “I have sinned, I was mistaken, my God,” if Eve had also admitted her mistake, then everything would have fallen into place again. But no: they both began vying to justify themselves.
Endlessly justifying himself and believing that others do not understand him, that everyone around him is unfair, and he is an innocent sufferer and an unfortunate victim, a person becomes insane and ceases to control himself.
He who makes excuses cannot receivespiritual help
I have noticed that today everyone, from young to old, justifies everything with the help of some satanic thought. For them, the devil reinterprets everything in his own way, and thus these people fall out of reality. Satanic interpretation is what self-justification is.
- Geronda, why do some people have an objection to every word he says?
- Oh, talking to a person who is used to making excuses is a terrible thing! It's like talking to someone possessed by a demon. May God forgive me, but those who justify themselves have the devil himself as their “elder.” These are terribly exhausted people; they have no peace within themselves. They have made self-justification their science.
These people become real lawyers! It is impossible to convince them - it’s like trying to convince the devil himself. ...You give the person relevant examples, explaining that treating everything the way he does is satanic egoism, you warn that he is subject to demonic influences and if he doesn’t change, he will die, and after all this he declares that you are so and didn’t say what he needed to do!
- Geronda, if you tell a person who is justifying some of his outrageous behavior that this is self-justification, and he, wanting to prove that this is not self-justification, continues to justify himself, then does he have the opportunity to correct himself?
- But where can he improve? He understands that he made a mistake because he is experiencing torment, but out of selfishness he does not want to admit it. It's very scary!
- Yes, but at the same time he declares: “You refuse to help me. I ask you for help, but you don’t even want to invite me to talk. You treat me with contempt."
- Well, then, this state also begins with selfishness. Thus, he seems to be telling you: “It’s not me, but you, who is to blame for the fact that everything is so bad for me!” Yes, yes, such a person even comes to this. Leave him alone: there is no need to waste time on him, since you will not help him. Neither his confessor, nor, if he lives in a monastery, the abbot or abbess is responsible for such a person. This is not human, but satanic egoism. The one who suffers from human egoism is the one who, having not humbled himself to such an extent as to say “I’m sorry,” still will not make excuses. But he who, by sinning, justifies himself, turns his heart into a demonic haven. If such a person does not crush his self, he will make more and more mistakes, and will be crushed by his own egoism without any benefit. If a person does not know what an evil self-justification is, he has mitigating circumstances. However, if he found out this - himself or from the words of others - then he has no mitigating circumstances.
When you want to help a person who is used to making excuses, be very careful. Because, if he makes excuses, it means he has a lot of egoism, and therefore sometimes the following happens: you tell him that he acted unfairly, and he, protecting his “impeccability” and proving that it is you who is wrong, begins to add lies to lies and self-justification to self-justification. In this case, you, who pointed out to him that he was wrong, become the reason that this person turns out to be an even greater egoist and liar than before. When you see that he continues to make excuses, stop trying to explain anything to him, but pray that God will enlighten him.
If you don't justify yourself,God will justify you
- Geronda, if someone, seeing me perform this or that act, comes to the wrong conclusion, is it necessary? 
explain what prompted me to do this and not otherwise?
“If you have spiritual strength, that is, humility, then admit yourself guilty and don’t explain anything.” Let God justify you. If you don’t say it yourself, then God will speak for you later. Look, when the brothers sold Joseph into slavery, he did not say (to the Ishmaelite merchants): “I am their brother, not a slave. My father loved me more than all his children." He didn’t say a word, but then God spoke His word and made him king. What do you think - God will not inform (people about how things really are)? If God, for your benefit, reveals the truth to people, then good. However, if He does not open it, it will also be for your benefit. When someone treats you unfairly, think that he does it not out of malice, but simply because he saw everything in this light. If this person has no malice, then some time will pass and God will notify him of the true state of affairs. And then this person will understand that he was unfair to you, and will repent. God does not notify a person only if there is anger in him, since God's radio station operates on the frequency of humility and love.
He who examines himself correctly willdoesn't justify
- Geronda, why, even feeling and understanding my (spiritual) weakness, do I still make excuses?
“You are making excuses precisely because you have not yet felt your weakness.” If I felt it, I wouldn't 
I would make excuses. After all, we, self-lovers, don’t want to experience difficulties, we don’t like to work, we often want to (spiritually) get rich without lifting a finger. We should at least admit that by treating things this way, we are spiritually lame on both legs. Having recognized this, we must humble ourselves. But where is it? In our case there is no sign of labor or recognition of one’s weakness.
- Geronda, does the one who justifies himself not see his failures in spiritual life?
- The devil deceives such a person in everything, no matter what he does, and this person finds justification for everything: his own self-will, stubbornness, selfishness, lies.
- And if such a person assessed himself as in a mirror, looking at the patristic writings and especially the Holy Scriptures, wouldn’t that help him?
— For a person who thinks correctly, spiritually, the Holy Scriptures and the books of the Holy Fathers resolve all difficulties. He understands the meaning of what is written clearly and clearly. However, if a person is not engaged in spiritual work and his soul is not purified, then even the Holy Scriptures will not help him, since such a person interprets everything he reads topsy-turvy. It is better for him to reveal his thoughts to his confessor and not try to interpret the meaning of what he read himself. I have noticed that some people choose something they read in spiritual books and then interpret it in a way that suits them. The reason is not that they lack judgment or misunderstand the meaning of what they read. No, they give their own interpretation to what they read in order to justify themselves. Terrible thing!
...When I tell them about some person who has fallen into a deplorable state due to his carelessness, after listening to the story, they don’t think about it, but say: “Well, if there are people in such a terrible state, then we generally beyond all praise." In this way they justify themselves. Yes, whatever, but the devil will come up with as many self-justifications as he wants.
Self-justification does not bring peace to the soul
The soul of the one who justifies himself finds no peace. Such a person is deprived of consolation. He himself justifies his “I,” but does this “I” justify him? His “I”, his conscience does not find justification for him, and therefore the soul has no peace. This indicates that he is guilty. How wisely God arranged everything! He gave man a conscience. Terrible thing! With the help of cruelty, cunning, and flattery, a person can achieve what he wants, but at the same time he will be deprived of peace of mind. And if a person is guided by his conscience, then even without outside help he can be convinced that he has lost his way.
Tolerating injustice graciously is like receiving spiritual wealth that brings joy. And by justifying himself, a person seems to waste some part of his wealth - and does not feel joy. I want to say that in the latter case a person does not have the spiritual peace that he would have if he did not justify himself. And what can we say about someone who justifies himself, being, moreover, truly guilty! Such a person collects the wrath of God on his own head.
He who makes excuses blinds himself. [Then] the devil will find an excuse for him, even if such a person commits murder.“How did you put up with him for so long? - says the devil. “You should have finished him off much earlier!” And such a person may even want to receive reward from Christ for the few years that he “suffered”!
- Geronda, but since the one who justifies himself suffers, then why doesn’t he want to (stop justifying himself in order to) stop the remorse that torments him?
- Because self-justification is a habit. To cut it off, willpower is required. Such a person needs to learn not only not to make excuses, but also to take the correct spiritual position. After all, if a person, without justifying himself out loud, nevertheless begins to carry in his soul the confidence that he was treated unfairly, then it will be even worse, because if he said something in his own defense, then they would object to him, and in this way he could know himself and get out of delusion. Otherwise, he may not say anything out loud, but think to himself: “The truth is on my side, but I am silent because I am above this.” Thus, the person remains in error.
Based on the book: “Elder Paisius the Svyatogorets “Words.” T.3. "Spiritual struggle." Spaso-Preobrazhensky Mgarsky Monastery, 2004.”
Self-justification. The opposite of despair and the mood more often experienced by people - carelessness and petrified insensibility - is also not easily treatable. Of course, it closely borders on lack of faith, less decisive than the conscious doubt of a philosopher or reasoner, but no less, if not more, persistent. Leo Tolstoy in his “Confession” writes that only in this 50th year of his life he began to think about questions of conscience and eternity, and before he had no time for that: he lived a “binge of life”, moving from one hobby to another and did not delve deeply into anything eternal.
So in confession, people confess to committing fornication, to hurting their wife and parents, to deception, to completely moving their lives away from the temple of God, but with such a light heart that you clearly see how they don’t care about all this, and that they don’t even care. they are thinking of starting a fight against these sins. So we should say to them: “Although your sins in themselves are grave and would require depriving you of Holy Communion for so many years, what is even more terrible is the lull of your conscience, due to which you apparently do not experience repentant sorrow for your sins.
Know that Holy Communion can be given to you only upon your promise to hate these sins and begin to fight against them. Otherwise, not only will you not be worthy of Holy Communion, which, perhaps, in your present mood, you would not be very sad about, but you will not dwell on your present sins.
After all, all the world’s villains, all criminals, were not born murderers and robbers, but before their first crime they differed from ordinary sinners only in that they did not take their mistakes and sins to heart, did not repent of the insults inflicted on their neighbors and for all the reproaches addressed to them from elders and comrades they blamed someone else for what happened, like Adam and Eve after their fall.
So you, while you were innocent, despised fornicators, and when you fell, you began to justify yourself, and then, having become accustomed to this abomination, even boasted about it, and even further - ridiculed those who observe chastity. In the same way, the conscience is lulled by secular dispersion and vicious partnership, it grows deeper and deeper into other sins, vices, passions and is already close to calmly daring to commit criminal crimes.”
Exhorting careless people in this way, the priest must, both in this case and in general during confession, and during general edifications to the flock, especially persistently warn them against the spirit of self-justification, which is one of the main enemies of our salvation. – Some people accepted the preaching of the Savior and His apostles, others rejected it. Among those and others there were both serious sinners and people of righteous life. What properties of their souls determined the acceptance or rejection of the saving Gospel? – And almost always precisely this: whoever had a spirit of self-justification, considered himself a fairly decent person, rejected the preaching of repentance, the preaching of the Gospel; and whoever considered himself a guilty sinner before God and people, accepted it and was saved, like Zacchaeus, like the Prudent Thief.
And among Christians who believe, those who are saved and those who perish, or who are far from salvation, differ not in the number of sins, but in their inclination or inclination to admit themselves guilty and sinful. You feel a bitter resentment towards your neighbor, you are convinced, and perhaps rightly so, that you have been wrongly deprived of a position or promotion, that you have been slandered, that your merits have not been recognized. Let's assume that this is true. It is not yet possible to demand that you be completely insensitive to all this. But, taking the grievances you have received to heart, remember even more firmly and mourn in your soul those aspects of these events in which you yourself sinned with laziness, anger, lies, intransigence, etc. By the grievances inflicted on you from others, you will not be justified before God, but You will answer for your own offenses, and especially if you do not want to admit them with repentance.
Let the Lord justify you for your repentance, but do not justify yourself before Him, but accuse yourself. – When one co-questioner hit Saint Tikhon in the face, finding no verbal objections to his arguments about faith, the saint himself fell at his feet and asked for forgiveness for not warning him against such a sin as hitting the bishop of God in the face. The willingness to blame oneself and not others is a great virtue that not only elevates a person in the eyes of God, but also attracts the hearts of people to him. Convince, confessor, your spiritual children most of all to fight the spirit of self-justification and blaming others and explain to them that if someone with the same spirit comes to confession, they will not receive any benefit from the Holy Sacrament. The benefit of the latter depends on the degree of heart contrition.
Let no one reassure himself with his honesty, fidelity to his wife, or even virginity; let him be free from heavy falls, but what would he be like if he were subjected to such temptations as his fallen brothers, if he did not receive in life those good influences from people and books and those gifts of God that others were deprived of? Perhaps the latter, in your conditions, would have shown incomparably more good will for spiritual improvement and would have flourished in various virtues and deeds. Look not at those who seem worse to you than you, but look at those who strive more cheerfully than you for the salvation of their souls, and yet constantly shed tears of repentance.
If the great Ephraim the Syrian, who was granted visions from God, also shed them, then how can we, sinners, be alien to the spirit of constant repentance and self-reproach? With these words, exhort your entire flock, but especially those who, without repentant contrition, will appear before you in holy confession. Without many virtues one can be saved, says Saint Simeon the New Theologian, but no one has been saved without acquiring the spirit of tenderness, i.e. tender repentance for one’s sins and joy for God’s mercy.
Metropolitan Anthony (Khrapovitsky)
