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Who can offend a person. Touchy person: how to communicate with him? What should be emphasized

Now you can beautifully, and most importantly, subtly poke an opponent in a dispute using one of these expressions.
Only aristocrats and people with a fair sense of humor and imagination can insult so beautifully.
So,

How nice to offend the interlocutor.

Any resemblance between you and the person is purely coincidental!

1. Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion?
2. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?


3. I would like to punch you in the teeth, but why should I improve your appearance?
4. At least there is one positive thing about your body. It's not as scary as your face!
5. The brain is not everything. And in your case, it's nothing!
6. Be careful, don't let your brain get into your head!
7. I like you. They say I have terrible taste, but I love you.
8. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
9. If only I had a face like yours. I would sue my parents!
10. Don't be upset. A lot of people don't have talent either!
11. No offense, but do you have a job to spread ignorance?
12. Keep talking, someday you will still be able to say something smart!
13. Do you still love nature despite what it has done to you?
14. I don't think so, maybe you have a brain strain!
15. Fellows like you don't grow on trees, they vacillate there.
16. He has a mechanical mind. This is bad for him, he often forgets to turn his back to the wind.
17. His mind is like a steel trap that always closes when trying to find the answer!
18. You are a man of the earth, bad that is not the best part of it.
19. He thought, this is something new.
20. When it finally gets dark, you will surely look better!
21. Yes, you are just a miracle comedian. If it's funny, it's a miracle!
22. In Who's Who you should be looked for as What Is It?
23. You are living proof that a person can live without brains!
24. He is so short that when it rains, he is always the last to know.
25. Yes, you're just a template for building an idiot.
26. Why are you here? I thought the zoo was closing for the night!
27. How did you get here? Did someone leave the cage open?
28. Do not try to find anything in your head, it is empty.
29. I think you wouldn't want to feel the way you look!
30. Hey! I am human! What do you?
31. I can't talk to you right now, tell me where will you be in 10 years?
32. I don't want you to turn the other cheek, it's just ugly.
33. I don't know who you are, but it would be better if you weren't there, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.
34. I don't know what makes you stupid, but it really works.
35. I can drive the monkey out of you, but it will cost you dearly!
36. I can't remember your name and please don't help me with this!
37. I don't even like the people you're trying to copy.
38. I know you were born stupid, but why do you relapse?
39. I know that you made yourself. It's good that you plead guilty!
40. I know you are not as stupid as you look. This is impossible!
41. I saw people like you, but then I had to pay for the ticket!
42. Why are you such a fool today? Although I think this is typical of you.

But just do not overdo it, even using veiled not direct insults you can get in the face))
By using these insults, you take responsibility for your words.

Classification of offended people, which you should know in order to understand how to get along with those who are sick with this disease

No one knows where heaven is on earth. There are no sinners anywhere. Nothing can be the source of eternal happiness. Nobody heard the whole truth. And there are flaws in everything. But the ideal vanilla state is also not the ultimate dream of a person. Constant happiness can sometimes even make you feel nauseous. The nature of people is such that they always need a personal tragedy, their own personal kind of masochism. When everything is good for a long time, it seems that some kind of disaster is on the nose. After all, there is always calm before the storm. So people are looking for what is going wrong in their lives. And everyone finds his own catastrophe for himself: an invented illness, a probable betrayal, a conspiracy in a team or a personal financial crisis. Everyone has their own "cockroaches", who at one moment unanimously vote for "another coup in life."

Offended people are not unarmed people, they are people with equipment and equipment, but without the ability to take advantage of all their benefits and power. There are many different, mixed feelings in offense: from impotence to the desire for revenge.

Resentment is a disease and it is up to a person to decide whether to make it a mild form of a viral infection or a chronic disease.

There is no strength in resentment, it has pain, disappointment, sadness, anxiety, a sense of insecurity, powerlessness and anger. These feelings are not the best life companions. They, like ballast, pull to the bottom. And life is not at the bottom, it is in the light, closer to the sun's rays. People, like plants, are drawn to the light, but wither in the darkness.

From my life experience and the information I collected, I created a personal type classification of offended people. It hurts when loved ones are offended, so sometimes you need to take at least half a step forward in order to maintain such relationships that are necessary for both of you:

1. Eternal sacrifice

Horoscopes that “pisces” are eternal victims, but, as for me, not only representatives of this zodiac sign like to blame others for their life circumstances. It is difficult with such people, because any little thing drives them into depression. Any remark causes a feeling of personal and deep resentment. It is difficult for them to fight the wave of indignation that covers them during your seemingly innocent dialogue.

Advice: If a person with an “eternal victim” complex is close to you, just show him that you understand him, that you are ready to share this difficult situation with him and did not even think to hurt his feelings. No need to ask for forgiveness on your knees, just start a conversation with a detached topic in 15-20 minutes or buy his favorite ice cream and offer to watch a new comedy together. Do not aggravate the conflict, because your words will hurt the person close to you even more. You should not start a conversation in the style of “you are always offended by everything, you are an eternal victim”, because the “eternal victims” never consider themselves to be such and can only be offended by you again.

And if you are tired of constantly choosing words, calling only at the “right” moment, being on the hook and forgetting the word “no” in response to their requests, then don’t be patient. It is up to you to decide whether your communication with the "eternal victim" or with any other type of offended people will last. This is your life and only your choice matters.

2. Miss/Mr Uncertainty

Complexes are a terrible weapon with the effect of only internal accumulation and self-devouring. Complexes give rise to uncertainty, and uncertainty - a permanent feeling of "everyone wants to offend me." Most often, complexes are unjustified critical thoughts towards an ideal state. For example, some women do not like their breasts, the shape of their buttocks, nose, lips, and any look at the “problem” part of their body causes a feeling of panic and anxiety. It is difficult to deal with this if the decision to change everything does not come from the object of possession of these complexes.

Advice: No need to focus on the fictional shortcomings of a loved one. Avoid this topic. It is better to create a situation from the outside, so that a person understands that all his complexes are just his personal fantasy, which has little to do with reality. Let someone else become a weapon to get rid of these complexes. A person believes not in words, but in deeds. Only the attention of others (for example, a compliment from a stranger) can become a clear stimulus for recovery. Just help a loved one understand this, become his "invisible" compass to healing.

3. Sentimental Paranoid

To be a powerful projectile that flies right on target and sees no obstacles, this is the mission of the "sentimental paranoid". He looks for hurt where there is none. If the "eternal victim" is offended only by the real fact of resentment (an incorrectly chosen word or a rash act), then the "sentimental paranoid" is looking for a catch everywhere. He sees only what he wants to see, hears only what he needs to hear. It's hard to deal with such a person. It is easy to deceive him, because people often use his suspicion against him.

Advice: If you are under the suspicion of a “sentimental paranoid”, then it is useless to prove your innocence. You should get away from the conflict in all possible and impossible ways. Such a person is very difficult to love, but they have a great advantage - they are usually frank and deep. For them, the run from the gallows to pardon is tiny, but they can be bribed by the skill and ability not to succumb to their psychosis.

4. The elusive avenger

Typical thoughts of the “elusive avenger”: “There is no forgiveness for insults. Everything was made on purpose. The plan for resentment has been developed over the years. It's a collective scheme." A painful view of reality destroys everything in its path. His revenge is always thoughtful, cold-blooded and targeted. This is his purpose and mission in life.

Advice: The "elusive avenger" needs to be honest about everything. In a frank dialogue, reveal all the cards and outline the true reason for your actions. Only complete trust and a satisfied ego can extinguish the ardor of hatred. Loving them is difficult, but "hot" people are always interesting for their unpredictability.

We were all offended, offended and will be offended by loved ones and loved ones. Often their words, actions, choices and decisions hurt us more than any physical pain. But we must not forget that we are not the only part of their lives. Main, but not the only one. Loved ones also need sometimes to be alone with their thoughts, meet up with friends, work late or spend free time on their new hobby. This does not mean that our halves already “do not love us so much”, they just feel comfortable in the personal sphere, but there are still issues that still require their attention.

All of us were given a feeling of resentment only to receive another life lesson, and already at the next stage we live on with our measured life, looking for new sources of inspiration and strength. Resentments teach us to be stronger, show our strengths and weaknesses. They have not only pain, but also many useful things. But there are people for whom the feeling of resentment becomes a full-fledged cohabitant. They put her on a pedestal. It feeds their life, but this feed only pulls to the bottom. She has no strength for emotional flight, she is only an anchor for a ship that constantly stands at the harbor. And the ships were created to conquer the sea.

Marina Poznyakova

The most meaningless feeling that a person is capable of is resentment. A touchy person, by his behavior, tries to prove his importance to the whole world and to a particular individual, without confirming this with anything other than illogical attacks and accusations. Looking at relationships through the prism of resentment distorts the worldview so much that they stop taking a person seriously and try to end the relationship with him, giving rise to an even greater feeling of disappointment in the latter.

Resentment and resentment: what's the difference?

Resentment is a reaction, often demonstrative, in response to a statement, action or lack of action. A person is trying to show that he is dissatisfied with the course of what is happening, that he expected another, and with his whole appearance demonstrates how much his disappointment is. Disappointment is woven into the insult (one thing was expected - another thing happened), pain and sadness (“I didn’t expect this from you”), excitement and anxiety (suddenly it will happen again), powerlessness (“you are stronger - therefore you consider yourself right”), irritation and anger ("I will avenge you").

Resentment is like the flu: you can get a fever and recover in a couple of days, but perhaps inflammation will take over the entire body and cause an already chronic condition or destroy the carrier. This state is called resentment. A very touchy person is ready to be constantly offended by all possible irritants, sometimes erecting heaps of non-existent problems from scratch, showing with his whole appearance how unfair the world is to him.

All human feelings are a subjective thing, but the feeling of resentment is several times stronger than all the others, since one's "I" and personal dignity are put above the rest.

Why are people offended?

Psychologists divide all causes into four categories:

• Misunderstanding of jokes: most often a touchy person is devoid of a sense of humor, even a small undercoat can hurt him - this is his defensive reaction and an indicator that you don’t need to do this. This is the easiest form, although it happens that a person becomes obsessed and bears resentment for years, developing a plan for revenge.
• Manipulation: wanting to get what was planned, but not seeing the desired result, the touchy person “pouts out”, moves away and is silent - showing with all his appearance that he is waiting for completely different actions.

• Deceived hopes: often people give in to fantasies or attribute non-existent character traits to others, expect unusual actions, and then are deeply disappointed with reality. With resentment, they try to show the magnitude of their disappointment, as if unobtrusively trying to change a person.
• Inability or unwillingness to forgive: too high self-esteem and hyperego make people blind to other people's emotions and motives for actions. At the same time, this category of people can combine all three previous categories, turning a person into a paranoid one.

How does resentment turn into resentment?

Due to an excessive sense of one's own “I” and increased self-pity, a person often has internal strife: “Why me? Why can they and I can't? I deserve better, more.” This further immerses a person in an illusory reality, invented by him and, most likely, significantly different from reality. And the more often this happens, if the cause of resentment remains unresolved and settles inside, the more a person becomes touchy, obsessed with his experiences and blind to the feelings of others. Excessive resentment becomes a natural state, destroying the inner world of a person.

Four types of offended

Psychoanalysts divide touchy people into several types, after analyzing which, you can understand why they hold evil on you and how to correct the situation.

People with an eternal victim complex: they are constantly offended by everyone and everything, with or without reason: any careless word, sidelong glance or gesture can drive them into deep depression, a week-long silence or, conversely, constant whining. This type of overly touchy person in the heat of passion can do anything, up to a suicide attempt, so you need to be extremely careful with them.

Paranoid: people who are touchy because of excessive suspicion, jealousy and fear of being deceived. They hear only what they want, understand the situation only from their extremely subjective point of view, and look for a catch in almost everything.

People with an inferiority complex: their total self-doubt gives rise to a feeling of insecurity, it seems to them that others constantly want to offend, laugh at shortcomings (sometimes visible only to themselves) and assert themselves at their expense. Often such people are touchy in a quiet way, they do not scandal, do not try to manipulate, but simply withdraw into themselves, accumulating a lump of resentment.

The Avengers: their distorted view of the world, combined with it, makes them constantly replay plans for revenge, retribution for offense and encourages further immoral actions. Moreover, their gnawing resentment is so great (even for a trifling trifle) that for years they can hatch a plan of vendetta worthy of Moriarty himself.

Male resentment

Men are actually offended extremely rarely - they are more likely to be upset, angry or disappointed in some actions of loved ones. The logical mindset simply does not allow them to keep the reason for a long time - in half an hour the male consciousness will find something more interesting for itself than talking about the past action.

The only thing that can really hurt him for a long time is criticism of his "male" behavior: sexual failure, comparison with other men, public condemnation and depreciation of his gifts. Then a man can either close himself in himself, or, while maintaining external habitual behavior, keep resentment in himself for quite a long time, and during a strong quarrel, express everything.

Women's resentment

Women own the palm for insults: they are offended several times a day, while for some these are fleeting states that you can’t even call an insult - so, I was upset for five minutes and forgot. For some, this is an idea-fix of their whole life: “You offended me - you didn’t see my tears,” because of which they begin to poison life for themselves and those around them. At the same time, she looks like a madman: she absolutely does not own her mind, emotions and can say mountains of superfluous, rude and unnecessary things. Excessive sensitivity is what destroys such women.

Childish resentment

Resentment of a child is a great psychological trauma, which can lead to a lot of complexes, rejection of the realities of the world and a distorted perception of people around. The danger is that an unstable child's psyche cannot cope with experiences, cannot correctly respond to an irritant and imprints negative experience on the subconscious, forming an illusory reality.

Most people who are too touchy brought this feeling with them from childhood, they have grown together with it and can no longer live without it. 80% of all fears, phobias, complexes and reactions are laid in a person at preschool age, most of them come from parents and close relatives. Therefore, the next time, before scolding a child for something, think ten times whether it is necessary.

What is the danger of communicating with such a person?

When a touchy person is present in the company, it is like a boil: it is very disturbing, but at the same time no one dares to touch, so as not to cause pain. An imperceptible ring of alienation is formed, which offends a person even more - the circle is closed. In addition, a very touchy person reacts sharply to criticism. Therefore, openly judging him for his susceptibility is the same as

The constant need to select the “right” words, expressions and actions already indicates that you are being manipulated, which means that a person has understood the power of his influence and will use it every time as necessary.

Why don't all people get offended?

The psychology of a touchy person is different: some are extremely rarely subject to such a painful reaction, while others, on the contrary, are hypersensitive. With some, you can joke on the verge of a foul, while others react sharply even to a comment about a hairstyle. Why is this happening?

In fact, everything depends on the internal state of a person: how much he is self-sufficient or dependent on public opinion, what is the magnitude of his sense of pride and self-importance. Everyone has their own weaknesses and pain points: for some they are on the surface and painful, while for others they are hidden under a thick layer of character and willpower.

How to communicate with a touchy person?

For others, this is sometimes a problem. How to call a touchy person so as not to offend? How to communicate with him at all if there is no opportunity to end the relationship (this is an employee, relative or husband-wife).

The first way is to try to ignore attempts at manipulation, provided that one's rightness really is. You can ask the opinion of a disinterested person (of course, tactfully, so as not to offend the offended person even more).

Second: try to take the situation into your own hands and turn it from sensual squabbles into a calm discussion of the problem.

Communication with overly emotional people teaches tolerance and loyalty, this is a good reason to look at yourself and others from a different angle. You need to be condescending to sensual outbursts - after all, if the reasons for such a reaction are known, then it becomes clear that a touchy person has internal problems through the roof. Have pity on him, only mentally.

The all-in method: feign resentment in response. Perhaps, feeling in the place of a “pseudo-offender”, a person will change his behavior and attitude. Try to put yourself in the place of the offended person and mentally scroll through the situation, trying to look at it through his eyes. Ask yourself what percentage of your fault is it that the person is offended. Be objective: maybe you unknowingly, without thinking, hurt a person.

How to help get rid of resentment?

Explain to the person why you acted and said this and not otherwise. Explain in detail the reason in the smallest detail, make it clear with all your appearance that there was no desire to offend. If the situation really demands it, you need to apologize. Just remember: to apologize means to regret what you have done and promise to do it more. Human reactions come from actions, not just words.

Try to explain that resentment is a destructive feeling, showing how much the offended person does not respect himself as a person. Show that you respect him, but you will never have close relationships if they develop so one-sidedly.

What will accumulated grievances lead to?

Does everyone know that resentment is a manifestation of one of the seven sins of Christianity: pride? A wounded sense of superiority spurs a person to break relationships, break marriages and family ties. Everything happens because everyone puts himself above the other, and this is a manifestation of pride.

Focused on their inner experiences, a person loses the ability to think sensibly, working capacity decreases, which, in turn, can lead to job loss. In an attempt to numb the pain of resentment, some people turn to drinking or taking drugs.

Why does a touchy person often get sick? His nervous system is constantly overloaded with stress, depression and neuroses. Under the influence of feelings, it disrupts the usual diet, which will adversely affect the digestive system: gastritis, stomach ulcers are side effects of stress.

From constant experiences, migraine develops, spasm of the muscles of the neck and shoulder girdle (which can lead to problems with the spine). Spasmodic muscles, in turn, block the free functioning of the lungs, hyperventilation is disturbed, and this is the first step towards colds and various inflammatory processes.

In the process of communicating with a touchy person, try to convey this information, perhaps common sense will win, and the offense will go away.

There are many aggressive people in modern society, because the frantic pace of life leaves its mark on mood, behavior and interpersonal communication. At a certain period of life, people collide with each other, so avoiding conflicts is quite difficult. Sooner or later you will find yourself in the line of fire with a person who throws insults. At such moments, you must fight back against your opponent. Some start a skirmish, others react calmly. Consider all the methods in order.

Method number 1. boredom

1. The technique of tediousness is quite common among intelligent people. If you are mentally superior to your opponents, consider this option. If the interlocutor is trying to offend you, give him an analogy from the scientific literature.
2. For example, you were reproached for the mess on your desktop, as if you had evolved from a pig. Get your bearings in time and answer: “Darwin has repeatedly proved the fact that pigs do not belong to humans in any way. They do not work at a desk, therefore, they cannot create a mess in the workplace. Read the book to make more precise arguments in the future!
3. In addition to the fact that the fact will hurt the offender, the opponent will be confused. You will have enough time to plan further dialogue. Not many people have scientific knowledge, such a move will put the boor in an awkward position.

Method number 2. Ignoring

1. Not every person can gather his will into a fist and turn on the ignoring mode, besides, such behavior is not always appropriate. However, there are often cases when this tactic will come in handy.
2. If the insult is petty, a grin is the best option. Smile with one corner of your lips, thinking to yourself how much better the world would be without fools. If a person is narrow-minded, and also sinks to low insults, demonstrate contempt.
3. Don't hold back your positive attitude. You can laugh in your opponent's face without responding with words. Make it clear that rudeness does not hurt you at all, even if the situation is different.
4. The tactic of ignoring is to prove to the opponent his stupidity. It is possible that he will become even more furious when he sees your reaction. Namely, that his words not only do not disturb, but also amuse you.
5. If the person is sane, you can accompany the grin with a polite phrase. For example, “It seemed to me or did you have a bad day?”. If a person belongs to the category of boors, your attack will cause even more discontent.
6. Unfortunately, the modern world is degrading, so it is important to use the ignoring technique correctly. She is suitable for a skirmish with ill-mannered people who do not watch their language.
7. Never try to justify yourself if you see that the insult is inappropriate. Again, it's best to ignore the attacker by smiling slyly in response. Do not cross into the territory of the offender, such a move will be obviously losing.

Method number 3. calmness

1. The previous options, namely "Ignore" and "Nerd", refer to sarcastic ways. You suppress the offender through malice, some kind of mockery. And this method differs in that you need to respond to insults in a calm tone.
2. Do not swear, use swear words or raise your voice a few tones. Answer with a slight smile, be friendly. Ask what exactly does not suit your interlocutor. Try to sort out the situation "on the shelves."
3. Such behavior shocks the opponent, some begin to feel embarrassed. A conflict situation often ends with an apology from the offender. This option will not allow the scandal to turn into a disaster.
4. If you have peace of mind and want to maintain harmony in your heart, do not respond with evil to an insult. When this is hard to achieve, take 5 deep breaths and the same number of exhalations, and then proceed to further dialogue.

Method number 4. Gratitude

1. The technique of gratitude is also called Aikido. Of course, experienced professionals do not advise to engage in assault. The technique consists in transferring aggression from the opponent to him.
2. The option is suitable for people who are offended in the presence of colleagues or other large crowds. In such situations, it is important to defend your honor, but it must be done correctly.
3. Tell the interlocutor that you are extremely grateful to him. For what? For the fact that he spent a lot of time listing your shortcomings. Also clarify that you would not do this because you do not care about him.
4. It is important that there is no sarcasm in the answers. The main thing is to be serious and calm, as if you casually paid attention to the offender. By demonstrating fortitude, you will emerge victorious from the skirmish, while saving face.
5. End the speech with another thank you. Inform that in the evening you will think about your own shortcomings and try to correct them in the near future. As practice shows, such an answer misleads boors. In this case, all the "spectators of the show" will take your side, definitely.

Method number 5. Revelation

1. In most cases, insults in the family circle or among close friends can be eliminated in time if you bring your opponent to a frank dialogue. It is important to step over your pride and stop resisting, after proceeding to manipulation.
2. Let your loved one know that you don't like listening to this kind of complaint. Try to find out what they are backed by. If the arguments are truthful enough, listen and draw your own conclusions.
3. If you are in pain, let me know. As a rule, most situations are resolved peacefully. If people are dear to each other, they will be able to find a solution to any problem.
4. If we are talking, again, about relatives or friends, try to forgive the offender in advance. You yourself understand that irritation and indignation do not appear out of nowhere. Since the person is dear to you, try to understand and forgive him.

Method number 6. Humor

1. Positive is everything! The recommendation is especially relevant in cases with poorly educated or close people. A good joke or a positive reaction to an insult will smooth out the rough edges.
2. To defuse the atmosphere, you need to have a sense of humor. When you repel attacks in this way, the interlocutor will become confused. His concentration will be broken as the insults take a different turn.
3. Further development of the scandal will become inappropriate after both laugh at the joke. It is important to reflect the negative in time so that it does not grow into something more.
4. Of course, not all situations need to be taken lightly. For example, if you were insulted on your way to work (in traffic or on public transport), the best option would be to keep your distance. Move away from the offender, making it clear that his company is unpleasant for you.

Win-win phrases

There are many phrases that will help you get out of a conflict situation as a winner. You can remember those that you like, and then apply them for their intended purpose.

1. "I'm sorry, are you done?"
2. “What a pity, I thought you were a man with brains!”
3. “I can say for sure that the image of a boor does not suit you! Though…"
4. “Dear, please slow down. I am not your wife (brother, matchmaker)
5. “By your tone, you can understand that you have confused the shores ...”
6. “By your behavior do you want to achieve the truth or a flattering answer?”
7. “Why would an educated person put their cons on public display?”
8. "Don't worry about me so much..."
9. “By getting personal, are you trying to compensate for your lack of intelligence?”
10. “Thank you for your interest in my person and life in particular. Your call is very important to us…”
11. “Why are you trying to hurt me? Are you an energy vampire?
12. "Beautiful weather, isn't it?"

There are basic techniques that will save face and adequately respond to insults. The most common options are boring, positive, ignoring, calm, gratitude and revelation. You will also need universal phrases that can be used in controversial situations.

Video: how to respond to insults