To order a memorial service for the deceased, you must come to the temple. Days of special remembrance of the dead
Every Christian believer experiences a deep inner need to pray not only for himself personally, but also for his family and friends. And this prayer can be both for living people and for those who have already died. Orthodoxy teaches that the human soul is alive, and after the physical death of the body it does not disappear, but goes to God to await the decision of its fate in Eternity. And in this waiting, the prayers of still living loved ones can greatly help the soul of a deceased person. In order to turn to the Lord about the deceased, there are special funeral services - memorial services.
What is a memorial service
This is the name given to a special funeral service, at which, in church prayer, forgiveness of the sins of a deceased person and his repose in the Kingdom of God is asked. Such services are held not only in the temple; the priest can serve in the cemetery during or after the funeral, and at home with the relatives of the deceased. But most often, such a commemoration is ordered in the church, and the rite itself takes place after the Liturgy.
A memorial service is a special funeral service
The significance of such a commemoration for the soul of the deceased is very great. Since only the body dies, but the soul is eternally alive, it awaits the decision of its fate and goes through ordeals. According to the Tradition of our church, at the ordeal the soul is responsible for all the sins committed in life, and each person accumulates a lot of them. And it is precisely the prayer of loving people that greatly facilitates this passage, even to the point of saving even practically hopeless souls.
Most often, memorial services are ordered before the funeral of the deceased, and then on the 3rd, 9th, 40th day. In addition, important dates of commemoration are the anniversary of death, as well as the date of birth, the name day of the deceased.
Important! Throughout the entire church year, if there is an opportunity and spiritual need for relatives, you can order a memorial service in the church after the end of the Liturgy.
It is highly advisable not only to write a note with the names of the relatives being remembered, but also to personally attend the service. Church prayer then has special power when it is combined with a personal petition from a loved one about the fate of the deceased. In addition, such prayerful commemoration will also bring great spiritual benefit and consolation to living relatives in their grief from the loss of a loved one.
Rules for serving a memorial service
In order for a memorial service to be served for your deceased loved one, you need to go to the temple, to the candle shop. There you can write a list of names of deceased relatives on a special form or an ordinary piece of paper. As a rule, you can indicate up to 10 names in one note, but you can only have one - if you want to specifically pray for this particular person.
Food products for a memorial service are brought as a gift to the priest.
When submitting notes for commemoration, it is customary to bring some food to a special memorial service table (eve). People believe that this is food for the dead, so that they do not starve in the next world. Of course, such superstitions have nothing to do with Orthodoxy - the dead have absolutely no need for the ordinary food that fed their body during life. The best “food” for a person who has passed into another world is the prayer of neighbors and alms.
Food and food are sacrificed as a gift to the temple and the priest who performs the service. After reading all the prayers, all donations are sanctified and in many churches they are distributed to the poor and needy. Therefore, it is also advisable to follow this tradition and bring food to the funeral table as alms. It is advisable to bring lean foods with a long shelf life - sunflower oil, Cahors, cereals, cookies, etc. Meat dishes are not brought to the funeral table.
Advice! Notes for a memorial service can only include the names of people baptized in Orthodoxy. It is unacceptable to order this service for dead heretics, outright persecutors of the Church, and suicides.
This is a very important point that is often not taken into account. Many grief-stricken relatives think that if they hide from the priest the fact of their deceased’s excommunication from the Church and God and a memorial service is served, then they will be able to ease the fate of the sinful soul. In fact, if a person deliberately persecuted the Lord during his lifetime, then what significance will posthumous prayers for him have? Such doing is not only senseless, but also sinful.
During the funeral service, relatives and all those present often stand with lit candles, which symbolize faith in a bright and pure future life, like a flame. At the end of the prayer, the candles are extinguished as a sign that the earthly human life of each of us will also sooner or later go out.
Ecumenical memorial services
In order for the funeral prayer to cover all “Christians who have died from time immemorial,” i.e. For all those who have ever died in the Orthodox faith, special days of general remembrance of the dead have been established. They are called “universal parental Saturdays.” The concept of “parental Saturday” does not mean at all that one can commemorate only deceased parents, but all relatives, the entire clan that lived before us and professed Orthodoxy.
A memorial service can be performed not only in a church, but also in a cemetery
In the church year, the following days are allocated for the service of ecumenical memorial services:
- Meat Saturday. It falls at the end of the meat-eating week, followed by Maslenitsa, and then Lent. This is the first universal memorial Saturday, when the Church during the service remembers that every person faces the Last Judgment before God. And in order to ease the afterlife of Christians who have already died before this day, this large funeral service is served.
- Trinity Saturday. Before the fiftieth day after the Resurrection, when the entire Church celebrates the descent of the Holy Spirit, it is customary to remember the dead as a sign that they are also awaiting the salvation of their souls. In the prayers of this day, we ask that the gifts of the Holy Spirit descend not only on the living, but also on the deceased brothers and sisters in the faith.
- Parental Saturdays of Great Lent. They are celebrated on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week of the Holy Pentecost. The time of Great Lent is the most mournful and repentant period of the entire church year, when a person needs to put aside all worldly affairs and try as much as possible to devote his thoughts to God and serving his neighbors. Of course, these days we cannot forget about our deceased relatives, who are in great need of prayer support.
- Radonitsa, or Antipascha. This is the so-called Easter for the dead, when the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ is spread to those who have already left this world. After his death on the Cross, Christ descended into hell and granted salvation to the righteous who had already died. Therefore, the news of the Bright Resurrection of Christ brings the joy of eternal life not only to people who are still living, but also to dead Christians. Since there are no memorial services on Bright Week immediately after Easter, on Radonitsa all faithful Christians rush to remember their deceased relatives.
What is a memorial service for the dead?
A memorial service is a small service of the Orthodox Church in which prayerful remembrance of deceased people is carried out. Usually performed in Orthodox churches after the divine liturgy and prayers. You can order a memorial service an innumerable number of times. In this, a memorial service differs from a funeral service (the latter is performed only once).
There is a practice of ordering a memorial service on special memorial days (). These include the second, third and fourth Saturdays of Lent, Meat (before Lent), Trinity Parental Saturday (before the Feast of the Holy Trinity), Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday (Saturday before the memory of Demetrius of Thessaloniki), Radonnitsa (Tuesday of the second week after Easter).
In addition to certain memorial dates, it is customary to order a memorial service on the 9th, 40th day, as well as the anniversary of the deceased person.
It is also worth keeping in mind that a memorial service is an act of prayerful remembrance of a person. Therefore, you can order a memorial service for your deceased relatives at any other time when this rite is performed in churches. That is, on almost every Saturday and Sunday, memorial services are held in Orthodox churches. You can write down the names of your deceased loved ones at each memorial service.
It must be taken into account that there are certain days when the dead are not remembered in churches. This is Easter with Holy Week, the great twelve holidays, Christmastide. The rest of the time, memorial services in churches may well be performed.
After the death of a person, his relatives, friends, just relatives and acquaintances can order funeral service, i.e. prayer for the departed. You can pray at a memorial service not only for one deceased, but also for several. In addition to the memorial service, litia is served, which translated from Greek means “intensified prayer.”
You will need
- pen, paper, rice, raisins, honey, pancakes, jelly, money, candles
Instructions
The memorial service is performed not only over the body, but also on birthdays. A short prayer for the reassurance of the soul, which is served directly over the body of the deceased before being taken out of the house, at the entrance to the vestibule of the church, at home, upon returning from the graveyard with a lithium. Instead of a memorial service, litia is served during Lent.
Every year the church serves Ecumenical Memorial Services, otherwise called Parental Saturdays. These services are held on strictly defined days: before the Holy Trinity, before Maslenitsa, on Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent, before the day of remembrance of St. Dmitry of Thessalonica, and the commemoration of the soldiers takes place on the day of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist.
On funeral service For the deceased, relatives bring kutya or, in other words, kolivo. This special dish was previously prepared from boiled wheat with honey, but now the wheat has been replaced with rice. The kutya is decorated with rice on top, laying out, for example, a cross. After the priest blesses the kutya, it is given to everyone who comes for remembrance to taste a little before the funeral meal. In addition to koliv, you can serve honey, jelly or pancakes at the funeral.
There is also a civil funeral service. A clergyman may be present, but the funeral service itself is not a religious act. During a civil memorial service, wreaths and flowers are brought to the deceased, speeches are made, and epitaphs are read. Such a farewell can take place both in an open space and in a specially designated place.
Sources:
- memorial service for the deceased
- Is it possible to remember the dead on Easter week? When is it possible
Prayer for deceased relatives is not just a religious duty of every Christian. Remembrance of the dead is a moral need of the soul of a believer. That is why many Christians try to order memorial services for the departed more often.
A memorial service for the dead is a special funeral service during which the clergyman commemorates deceased people with the aim of forgiving the sins of the deceased. The practice of praying for people who have completed their earthly journey was widespread already in the first centuries of Christianity. In addition, already in the Old Testament you can find certain prayers for the departed.
Currently, funeral services are celebrated in all Orthodox churches. Most often, this type of worship is performed after the liturgy and prayer services. In large cathedrals, where services are held daily, it can be performed separately in the morning (for example, in the outer altar of the cathedral).
It is very simple to order a memorial service in the temple. To do this, you need to come to the House of God and contact the church shop or the person who accepts notes. You should name the names of those deceased whom you want to remember on. It is worth mentioning that a memorial service can be ordered in advance (for the next memorial service). Therefore, if a person did not have time to go directly to the temple, do not be upset.
For an Orthodox person, it is desirable not only to write down the names of the deceased at a memorial service, but also to be present at the commemoration of deceased loved ones.
REMEMBRANCE OF THE DEAD
P why do people die?
- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wis. 1:13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1:15-16).
To understand the issue of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful existence. This death is the most terrible consequence of the Fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.
Although physical death after Baptism remains in a person, it takes on a different meaning. From punishment, it becomes the door to heaven (for people who were not only baptized, but also lived in a manner pleasing to God) and it is already called the “dormition.”
What happens to the soul after death?
According to Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are carried by angels to the threshold of paradise, where they remain until the Last Judgment, expecting eternal bliss: “The beggar died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are “in hell, in torment” (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the condemned will occur at the Last Judgment, when “many of those sleeping in the dust of the earth will awaken, some to eternal life, others to eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12:2). In the parable of the Last Judgment, Christ speaks in detail about the fact that sinners who did not do deeds of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who did such deeds will be justified: “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25). :46).
What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?
Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good deeds and evil ones. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God, is timely.
Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints.
After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, the Church celebrates memorial services and litias.
The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased. The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparing and receiving a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.
On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church, submitting notes for commemoration at the Liturgy and memorial service.
What soul does not go through ordeals after death?
From Sacred Tradition it is known that even the Mother of God, having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrated herself before the Lord, humbly begged Him so that, at the hour of the exodus of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but so that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine embrace. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and to do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14).
What concept of heaven should you have?
Heaven is not so much a place as it is a state of mind; just as hell is suffering stemming from the inability to love and non-participation in the Divine light, so heaven is the bliss of the soul stemming from the excess of love and light, to which the one who has united with Christ fully and completely participates. This is not contradicted by the fact that heaven is described as a place with various “abodes” and “chambers”; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and surpasses the human mind.
In the Bible, "paradise" is the garden where God placed man; The same word in the ancient church tradition was used to describe the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” “the life of the age to come,” “the eighth day,” “the new heaven,” “the heavenly Jerusalem.” The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I, John, saw the holy city Jerusalem, new, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying: Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death; There will be no more crying, no crying, no pain, for the former things have passed away. And He who sat on the throne said: Behold, I am creating all things new... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty I will give freely from the fountain of living water... And the angel took me up in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which came down from heaven from God. It has the glory of God... But I did not see a temple in it, for the Lord God Almighty is its temple, and the Lamb. And the city has no need of either the sun or the moon for its illumination; for the glory of God has illuminated it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in its light...And nothing unclean will enter into it, nor anyone who practices abomination and lies, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev. 21:1-6,10,22-24 ,27). This is the earliest description of heaven in Christian literature.
When reading descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it is necessary to keep in mind that many Church Fathers talk about the paradise that they saw, into which they were caught up by the power of the Holy Spirit. In all descriptions of paradise, it is emphasized that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is “inexpressible” and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the “many mansions” of paradise (John 14:2), that is, of different degrees of bliss. “God will honor some with great honors, others with less,” says St. Basil the Great, “because “star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). And since the Father “has many mansions,” He will rest some in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower state.” However, for everyone, his “abode” will be the highest fullness of bliss available to him - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in paradise will see and know one another, and Christ will see and fill everyone,” says St. Simeon the New Theologian.
What concept should you have of hell?
There is no person deprived of the love of God, and there is no place that is not involved in this love; however, everyone who has made a choice in favor of evil voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in heaven is a source of bliss and consolation, for sinners in hell becomes a source of torment, since they recognize themselves as not participating in love. According to Saint Isaac, “the torment of Gehenna is repentance.”
According to the teachings of the Venerable Simeon the New Theologian, the main reason for a person’s torment in hell is an acute sense of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Master,” writes the Venerable Simeon, “none of those baptized in Your name will endure this great and the terrible severity of separation from You, Merciful One, because this is terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sadness.” If on earth, says the Monk Simeon, those who are not involved in God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one incessant torment. And all the images of hellish torment that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot ovens, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of suffering, which comes from the fact that a person feels not involved in God.
For an Orthodox Christian, the thought of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in the services of Holy Week and Easter - the mystery of Christ’s descent into hell and the deliverance of those there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death, Christ descended into the abysses of hell in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. Just as by entering the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters, filled with human sin, so by descending into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer tolerate the power of God and perishes. Saint John Chrysostom in the Easter Catechetical Sermon says: “Hell was upset when it met You; he was grieved because he was abolished; he was upset because he was ridiculed; he was grieved because he was killed; I was upset because I was deposed.” This does not mean that hell no longer exists at all after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.
Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to the victory of Christ over death: “The council of angels was surprised, in vain you were imputed to the dead, but the mortal fortress, O Savior, was destroyed... and freed all from hell” (from hell, who freed everyone). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical action performed by Christ against the will of man: for one who consciously rejects Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as suffering and the torment of abandonment by God.
How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?
The grief of separation from the deceased can be satisfied only by prayer for him. Christianity does not perceive death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it. Man was created for eternity; in paradise he fed from the “tree of life” (Gen. 2:9) and was immortal. But after the Fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and corruptible.
But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not bring him any benefit, but will harm yourself... With the repose of the deceased, soothe his memory, and be comforted about him after the outcome of his soul” (Sir. 38:20-21,23).
What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, you are tormented by your conscience about the wrong attitude towards him during life?
The voice of conscience denouncing guilt subsides and ceases after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession to God to the priest of one’s sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love also applies to the dead. The deceased are in great need of the prayerful help of the living and alms given for them. The one who loves will pray, give alms, submit church notes for the repose of the departed, strive to live in a manner pleasing to God, so that God will show His mercy for them.
If you constantly remain in active concern for others and do good to them, then not only peace will be established in your soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.
What to do if you dream of a dead person?
You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, we should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer for it, because it itself can no longer do good deeds with which it would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer in church and at home for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.
How many days do people mourn for the deceased?
There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.
Who is the newly deceased and ever-memorable?
In church tradition, a deceased person is called newly deceased within forty days after death. The day of death is considered first, even if death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day of the Church, God (at the private judgment of the soul) determines its afterlife fate until the general Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25:31-46).
A person is usually called eternally remembered after forty days after his death. Ever-memorable - the word “ever-memorable” means always. And the ever-memorable one is always remembered, that is, the one for whom they always remember and pray. In funeral notes, they sometimes write “of everlasting memory” before the name when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased(s) is celebrated.
How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?
The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased, or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.
What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?
After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the church.
What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?
If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.
How to help the deceased?
It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good to work for the Church in memory of the deceased, for example, in a monastery.
Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?
Prayer for those who have passed from temporary life to eternal life is an ancient tradition of the Church, sanctified by centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains its member, and it is the duty of those remaining on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer eases a person’s posthumous fate. While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short earthly life was lived. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.
Is it possible to cremate the deceased?
Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as the norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, if possible to avoid cremation, should prefer burying the deceased in the ground. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications from Christian doctrine of another way of burying bodies - this is burying them in the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59-60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and in worldly terms, the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence.
The Gospel describes the burial order of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted of washing His Most Pure Body, dressing in special funeral clothes and placing in the grave (Matthew 27:59-60; Mark 15:46; 16:1; Luke 23:53 ; 24:1; John 19:39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on deceased Christians in the present time.
Cremation may be permissible in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.
Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?
Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.
What is eve?
Kanun (or eve) is a special square or rectangular table on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Here you can light candles and put food to commemorate the dead.
Why do you need to bring food to the temple?
Believers bring various foods to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the deceased at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.
What foods can you put on the eve?
The products can be anything. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.
Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?
Prayers at the Liturgy have special power. The Church prays for all the departed, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition “for those kept in hell” and for the Lord to rest them “in a brighter place.” The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can alleviate the afterlife fate of the dead, saving them from torment and worthy of salvation with the saints.
Therefore, it is necessary, in the coming days after the death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly deceased. This is a feat of love from the entirety of the Orthodox Church in the person of the priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of the people commemorated at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.
What is Parents' Saturday?
On certain Saturdays of the year, the Church commemorates all previously deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all previously deceased Christians are remembered. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from Greek as “presence”, “intercession”, “intercession”) - the continuation of the great requiem for all deceased Orthodox Christians.
When are Parents' Saturdays?
Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a permanent date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.
Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?
Yes, you can and should pray for the repose of the deceased even after parental Saturdays. This is the duty of the living to the dead and an expression of love for them. The deceased themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bear the fruits of repentance or give alms. This is evidenced by the Gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Death is not a departure into oblivion, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its characteristics, weaknesses and passions. Therefore, the deceased (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful commemoration.
Saturday days (except for Great Saturday, Saturday of Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays) in the church calendar are traditionally considered days of special remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed and submit notes in the church on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, no memorial services are served; in this case, the names of the deceased are remembered at the altar.
What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?
Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.
Special commemoration of all those who died during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11, according to the new style.
Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?
The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, thereby expressing the belief that the day of a person’s death is not a day of destruction, but of a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer any place for earthly illnesses, sorrows and sighs.
On this day it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray during the service.
Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?
Sundays and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days of remembrance of the dead - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.
What to do when visiting a cemetery?
Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of the lithium yourself, having first purchased the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.
Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?
Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.
What should you eat at a “wake”?
According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Also traditionally they eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.
Unfortunately, the bad custom of remembering the deceased with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly departed soul these days craves special fervent prayer for her to God and certainly not drinking wine.
Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on a grave cross?
A cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed on to another life are buried. Visible evidence of this is the tombstone cross, which is erected as a sign of the redemptive victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. Just as the Savior of the world was resurrected, having accepted death for people on the cross, so all the dead will be resurrected physically. People come to the cemetery to pray for them in this place of rest for the dead. A photograph on a grave cross often encourages reminiscence rather than prayer.
With the adoption of Christianity in Rus', the deceased were placed either in stone sarcophagi, with a cross depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was placed on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions became systematic, columns with photographs began to be placed on graves instead of crosses. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to predominate as a headstone. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has been preserved from past Soviet decades.
Is it possible to take a dog with you when visiting a cemetery?
Of course, you shouldn’t take your dog to the cemetery for walking. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for a blind person or for the purpose of protection when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. The dog should not be allowed to run over the graves.
If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter Canon is read. Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.
Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?
Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since babies do not consciously commit sins, but they ask the Lord to vouchsafe them the Kingdom of Heaven.
Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?
If the deceased was baptized, then the funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the soil received after the funeral in absentia can be sprinkled in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery.
The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the 20th century in Russia due to the large number of those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.
Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unburied deceased?
Funeral services can be ordered if the deceased was a baptized Orthodox person and not one of the suicide victims. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.
If it becomes known that the buried person was not buried according to the Orthodox rite, then he must be buried in absentia. During the funeral service, in contrast to the requiem service, the priest reads a special prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.
It is important not only to “order” a memorial service and funeral service, but for the relatives and friends of the deceased to take part in them prayerfully.
Is it possible to perform a funeral service for a suicide and pray for his repose at home and in church?
In exceptional cases, after consideration of all the circumstances of suicide by the ruling bishop of the diocese, an absentee funeral service may be blessed. To do this, relevant documents and a written petition are submitted to the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for one’s words, all known circumstances and reasons for suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. When the bishop allows the funeral service in absentia, the temple prayer for repose becomes possible.
In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of a person who has committed suicide, a special prayer rite has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of a person who has committed suicide turn to the priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.
In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read at home the prayer of the Venerable Elder Leo of Optina: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done” and give alms.
Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?
No, that's not true. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes to commemorate suicides (the funeral service of which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he must repent of this in confession and not do this again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.
Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?
Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled taking into account the fact that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.
Is it possible to submit notes in church about the remembrance of the deceased who have not been baptized?
Liturgical prayer is prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to remember unbaptized Christians, as well as non-Orthodox Christians, at proskomedia (the preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that you cannot pray for them at all. Cell (home) prayer for such deceased is possible. Christians believe that prayer can provide great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and condescension towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.
The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him.
For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home and read the canon to the holy martyr Uar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Uar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.
They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?
The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the way of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5). Anyone who lived piously, did good deeds, wore a cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God, he can be granted a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be said that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?
If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?
Doesn't mean anything. The Lord ends the earthly life of each person in due time, providentially caring for each soul.
“Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).
Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?
There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant life issues one must consult a priest.
Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?
There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.
Is it necessary to cover the mirror if one of your relatives dies?
Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition, and has nothing to do with church traditions of burying the dead. Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?
The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred partly stems from the belief that whoever sees his own reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. Whether a mirror is hung or not has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.
There is a belief that before the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings should be given away. Is this true?
You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after it: pray and perform acts of mercy, distribute the things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased through intense prayer for him and alms.
Services for the deceased are held in the church: memorial service, lithium, funeral service. In memory of the deceased, according to generally accepted custom, we light a candle on the “eve”. Kanun (canon) is usually located in the middle part of the Temple near the northern (left) side.
Kanun is a quadrangular table with a marble or metal board on which there are cells for candles and a small Cross. The eve with candles marks that faith in Jesus Christ can make all departed Orthodox Christians partakers of the Divine Light, the Light of Eternal Life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, when we light a candle for repose on the “eve”, we must offer the Lord a prayer for the departed whom we want to remember: “Remember, Lord, the souls of your departed servants (their names), and all my relatives, and forgive them all their free sins and involuntary ones, grant them the Kingdom and the participation of Your eternal blessings, and create for them an eternal memory" (three times). Usually candles are placed and lit not when one wants to, but during a service or prayer. There are days when they don’t light candles at all and don’t commemorate the dead. These are the days of Holy Week, when the hearts of believers are filled with sorrowful feelings of remembrance of the Passion of the Lord, and the days of Bright Week, when everyone triumphs and rejoices in the Risen Savior, therefore it is untimely to pray for the departed. The Orthodox Church has an ancient custom of offering prayers to God for the departed on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. The deceased are commemorated on the day of their death every year. People often ask why these particular days are set. Saint Macarius of Alexandria addressed this question to the angels who accompanied him through the desert. The angel replied: “God did not allow anything unnecessary and useless to be done in His Church, but He arranged the sacraments and commanded them to be performed.”
On the third day, when prayer is offered up in the Church, the soul of the deceased receives from the Angel guarding it relief from the sorrow that comes from separation from the body, because the praise and offering for it are made in the Church, and good hope appears. For two days the soul, together with the Angels who are with it, is allowed to walk on the earth wherever it wants. The soul, loving the body, wanders around the house in which it was separated from the body, sometimes near the coffin. A virtuous soul walks to those places where it has done good, righteous deeds. On the third day, in imitation of the Risen Savior, the soul ascends to worship God, and we pray that Christ, resurrected on the third day, will resurrect the soul of the deceased for a blessed life. After worshiping God, He is commanded to show the soul the beauty of paradise, marveling and glorifying its Creator - God, it changes and forgets the sorrow that it had while in the body. But if the soul is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasures of the saints it begins to grieve and reproach itself, regretting that it spent most of its life in carelessness and did not serve God as it should in order to be worthy of such grace.
On the ninth day, the soul is again ascended by the Angels to worship God. On the ninth day, we pray to the Lord that through the prayers and intercession of the nine ranks of Angels (Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and Angels), He would forgive the sins of the deceased.
Memorial service
After the second worship, the Lord of All commands to take the soul to hell and show it the torment of the wicked. The soul remains in hell for thirty days, trembling so as not to be condemned to imprisonment there.
On the fortieth day, the soul again ascends to worship God, and then the Judge determines for her, based on her deeds, the place of imprisonment at His private Court. And the Church prays for the deceased, so that the Lord will help the newly deceased to withstand the test at the private Judgment of God, and so that on the fortieth day He, Ascended into heaven, will lift up the soul of the deceased to the heavenly abodes. Therefore, the state of the souls of people who died before the general Resurrection, before the second coming of the Lord, is not the same: the souls of the righteous are in union with Christ and in anticipation of the bliss that they will receive after the general Judgment, the souls of unrepentant sinners are in a painful state.
The souls of those who died in faith, but did not bear fruits worthy of repentance, can be helped by the prayers of relatives and friends, their alms and good deeds. Therefore, when you come to the Temple on the third, ninth, fortieth days, on the anniversary of death, on the birthday of the deceased, on the day of his Angel, you need to submit a note of repose. Before the fortieth day, the note must write “newly deceased (name).”
The everlasting psalter
Sorokoust about repose
You can order a memorial service. A memorial service is a prayer for the dead. Funeral services are performed both in the house where the body of the deceased is located, and in the Temple, and at the grave. At a memorial service you can pray for one or more deceased Christians. To order a memorial service, you need to contact a “candle box” or a priest. You can serve a lithium for the deceased. Litia (Greek - “intense prayer”). This service is shorter than a funeral service. It is also performed by the priest at the request of relatives before removing the body from the house, when meeting the body in the vestibule of the Temple, upon the return of relatives to the house after burial, at the grave and in the Temple. In the Temple, lithium is celebrated during the days of Lent instead of a memorial service. Both during the lithium and at the memorial service on the days of remembrance of the dead, it is customary to bring and place on a special table next to the canon kolivo, otherwise called kutia. Kutia is boiled wheat mixed with honey. Kolivo serves as a reminder of the resurrection of the deceased. Just as a grain, which in order to bear fruit, must end up in the ground and decay, so the body of the deceased is consigned to the earth, so that, having decayed, in due time it will rise incorruptible for the future life. Honey signifies the spiritual sweetness of the blessings of Eternal Life. Nowadays, boiled rice is used instead of wheat. It is either mixed with raisins, or they decorate the top of the kutia, for example in the form of a Cross. Kutiya and other offerings after the funeral service are blessed by the priest and then, either at the grave or at home, before the funeral meal, are distributed little by little to those who come to remember the deceased. Usually the deceased are remembered with something sweet: kutia, jelly, honey, pancakes, etc.
The Orthodox Church performs special commemoration of deceased Orthodox (baptized) Christians several times throughout the year. Such commemorations are called Ecumenical requiems or Parental (Saturday before Maslenitsa, Saturdays of the second, third and fourth weeks of Great Lent, Saturday before the day of the Holy Trinity, Saturday before the day of remembrance of St. Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, New Art.). Commemoration of soldiers is performed on the day Beheading of St. John the Baptist (September 11 AD)
And another commemoration of the dead takes place in the 2nd week after Easter - on Monday or Tuesday. It is performed with the pious intention of sharing the great joy of the Bright Resurrection of Christ with the dead, hence the name “Radonitsa”, when Orthodox Christians rush to greet the joyful “Christ is Risen!” deceased. It is on Radonitsa (and not on the day of Holy Easter) that the graves of close relatives are visited. It is necessary to put the graves in order in advance or later, but not on the day of Christ’s Resurrection (you shouldn’t clean up Radonitsa either). This is a sin, an insult and disrespect for the holiday of the holidays. We come to proclaim the joy that Christ has risen, to sing the troparion of the holiday, to sit and reflect on our lives, to mentally communicate with the deceased. There is no need to leave eggs, sweets on the grave, drink alcoholic beverages and leave them - this is not a Christian custom.
Prayer for repose
In the event of the death of an Orthodox Christian, certain rituals are performed.
When a Christian departs from this world, a special canon is read over him, which is called the “Canon of Prayer for the Separation of Souls from the Body,” or “departure Canon.” After death, the body of the deceased is washed with water, then dressed in new clothes. Clothing must be consistent with the rank or service of the deceased or simply white. If a baby has died, then they put on baptismal clothes.
The everlasting psalter
The indefatigable Psalter is read not only about health, but also about peace. Since ancient times, ordering a commemoration on the Everlasting Psalter has been considered a great alms for a departed soul.
It is also good to order the Indestructible Psalter for yourself; you will feel the support. And one more important point, but far from the least important,
There is eternal remembrance on the Indestructible Psalter. It seems expensive, but the result is more than millions of times more than the money spent. If this is still not possible, then you can order for a shorter period. It's also good to read for yourself.
Candle of repose
The everlasting psalter
The indefatigable Psalter is read not only about health, but also about peace. Since ancient times, ordering a commemoration on the Everlasting Psalter has been considered a great alms for a departed soul.
It is also good to order the Indestructible Psalter for yourself; you will feel the support. And one more important point, but far from the least important,
There is eternal remembrance on the Indestructible Psalter. It seems expensive, but the result is more than millions of times more than the money spent. If this is still not possible, then you can order for a shorter period. It's also good to read for yourself.
Then the deceased is placed in a coffin, a aureole is placed on his forehead, that is, a paper ribbon with the image of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and John the Baptist as a sign of the deceased’s victory over his passions and spiritual enemies. An icon of the Savior or the Mother of God is placed on the chest as a sign that the deceased believed in Christ and surrendered his soul to Him for judgment. A pectoral cross must be placed on the neck of the deceased, if there is none. The body of the deceased is covered with a church veil as a sign that the deceased is under the protection of the Church. If the coffin is at home, it is placed in the middle of the room in front of the home icons, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit. Candles are lit around the coffin on four sides as a sign that the deceased has moved into the realm of light - into a better afterlife. Then, at the grave, they begin to read the Psalter with the addition of prayers for the repose of the deceased. The Psalter is read from the moment of death until the funeral service. The order and rule for reading the Psalms is in the prayer book. Then the coffin with the body is transferred to the Temple for the funeral service; during the transfer, “Holy God” is sung. If desired and possible, you can stay in the Temple overnight. During the funeral service, you need to stand facing or sideways to the altar so that you can see the coffin, but not with your back, hold a candle in your left hand, and cross yourself with your right. During the funeral service, everyone stands with lit candles and prays not only for the deceased, but also for themselves. After the priest reads the prayer of permission, the candle in the hands of the deceased is extinguished and, with a prayer of permission, is placed in his right hand. Candles in the hands of family and friends are also extinguished as a sign that earthly life, burning like a candle, must also go out. Those praying ask the Lord for the repose of the newly deceased, for his settlement in paradise, where the righteous are, where there is neither illness nor sighing. Then relatives and friends come up to say goodbye to the deceased - this is the last kiss. Usually they kiss the icon on the chest of the deceased and on the forehead, where the aureole is. Then they return again to the place where they stood during the funeral service. Relatives must restrain their emotions when saying goodbye and funeral services. After farewell, the icon is taken from the chest of the deceased; you can take it home or leave it in the Temple for up to forty days, but then take it home and pray in front of it.
Sorokoust about repose
The deceased is completely covered with a veil and the priest sprinkles him with earth in a cross shape, saying: “The earth is the Lord’s and the fulfillment of it, the universe, and all who live on it.” Fresh flowers decorating the coffin are removed. If the sacrament of consecration of oil (unction) was performed during life, then the priest pours consecrated oil and wine onto the body of the deceased. Then the coffin is closed with a lid and “Eternal Memory” is sung. After the funeral service, the coffin is transferred to the cemetery and lowered into the grave (facing east). When the coffin has already been lowered into the grave, relatives throw handfuls of earth onto its lid. Money is not thrown into the grave - this is a pagan custom, not a Christian one. When the grave is buried, relatives can remember the deceased with kutia and sweets. The Holy Cross is placed on the grave of a Christian as a symbol of Christ’s victory over death and hell.
People who commit suicide are deprived of funeral services, church burial and prayer for them. But if there is evidence that suicide occurred due to loss of reason (mental disorder), then with this document you must go to the Patriarchate or the Diocesan Administration and obtain permission from the ruling bishop for the funeral service. In other cases, the Church does not offer prayers for unrepentant sinners and suicides, because, being in a state of despair, stubbornness and bitterness, in evil, they find themselves guilty of sins against the Holy Spirit, which, according to the teaching of Christ, will not be forgiven either in this age or in the future. future.
A special funeral service is performed for deceased baptized infants (up to seven years of age), as if they were blameless and sinless and whom the Church asks to be honored with the Kingdom of Heaven. Funeral services are not performed for unbaptized infants (for adults as well), since they have not been cleansed of their ancestral sin. But they will not be punished and will not be glorified.
The funeral service can be performed in absentia. To do this, you should come to the Temple and arrange an absentee funeral service. The relatives are given a prayer of permission with a whisk and soil in their hands. The aureole is placed on the forehead of the deceased, the prayer is placed in the right hand, a cross is placed on the neck, if there is none, an icon is placed on the chest. After farewell, the icon is taken away, the face is covered with a veil, and the veil is sprinkled with earth in a cross shape. You can keep this soil at home, there is no need to be afraid of it.
A prayer service and a memorial service are not the most important thing.
A memorial service is a short service consisting of prayers for the forgiveness of sins and the repose of the deceased in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Memorial services are performed before the burial of the deceased and after - on the third, ninth and fortieth day, as well as on birthdays, name days, and on the anniversary of death.
Funeral services, which begin almost immediately after the death of a Christian, are of great importance for his soul. In accordance with the doctrine of the Orthodox Church, based on the mystical experience of saints and devotees of piety, the human soul, after its separation from the body, undergoes ordeals that predetermine its posthumous fate. That is why in the first hours and days after death, the soul of the deceased has a great need for the help of the Holy Church, which is given to them in funeral services. One of them is a memorial service for the deceased.
To order a memorial service, you need to contact the church shop. It is better to remember the name of one person, but ten names are possible.
If you have ordered a memorial service, you need to be present during the service and pray diligently with the priest, especially at the moment when the priest reads your note with the names of those for whom you are praying.
The memorial service is performed only for Christians baptized in Orthodoxy.
The names of unbaptized people, suicides, atheists, apostates, and heretics cannot be written in notes.
"Rest in peace"- sung during the funeral service. The physical death of a person does not mean complete peace for the deceased. After all, his soul may suffer, not find peace for itself, it may be tormented by unrepentant sins and remorse. That is why we, the living, pray for the departed, asking God to give them peace and relief. The Church does not anticipate from the Lord the all-justice of the mystery of His Judgment over the souls of our departed loved ones; it proclaims the fundamental law of this Judgment - Divine mercy - and raises us to prayer for the departed, giving complete freedom to our hearts to express themselves in prayerful sighs, to pour out in tears and petitions.
During the service of memorial services, the gathered relatives and acquaintances of the deceased stand with lit candles as a sign that they believe in a bright future life; at the end of the requiem service (during the reading of the Lord's Prayer), these candles are extinguished as a sign that our earthly life, like a burning candle, must go out, most often before it burns out to the end we envision.
In the Russian Church there is a custom of bringing various foodstuffs on the eve. Kanun (or eve) is a special table (square or rectangular) on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Usually on the eve they put bread, cookies, sugar, flour, sunflower oil - everything that does not contradict fasting. You can donate lamp oil and Cahors oil for the eve. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.
These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, there was a custom to set funeral tables at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier.
In addition to memorial services for individual deceased, the Church also performs the so-called. ecumenical or parental funeral services. They are served on special days called Parents' Saturdays:
meat-eating (on Saturday, before the start of Maslenitsa);
Trinity (Saturday, on the eve of the Feast of the Holy Trinity);
Dimitrievskaya (the last Saturday before the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessaloniki - November 8). The establishment of commemoration on this Saturday belongs to Dmitry Donskoy, who, after the Battle of Kulikovo, commemorated the soldiers who fell in it, with the advice and blessing of St. Sergius of Radonezh, established this commemoration to be performed annually on the Saturday before October 26 (old style). Subsequently, other dead people began to be commemorated along with the soldiers;
2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks (weeks) of Great Lent;
to Radonitsa;
September 11, on the feast of the Beheading of John the Baptist;
On May 9, a commemoration is held for the deceased soldiers who laid down their lives on the battlefield for the Faith and Fatherland.
When there is no remembrance of the dead
Memorial services, funeral services in absentia and any funeral prayers, except for the commemoration of notes on Proskomedia, are not performed in all churches during the period from Thursday of Holy Week (the last week before Easter) to Antipascha (the first Sunday after Easter). In-person funeral services are allowed on these days, except for Easter itself. The rite of the Easter funeral service is very different from the usual one, since it contains many joyful Easter chants.
On the Nativity of Christ, other twelve holidays, the patronal feast, funeral prayer is canceled by the Charter, but can be performed at the discretion of the rector of the temple.
A memorial service is a more complete rite of remembrance, and a lithium is its short version.
Sorokoust repose is ordered after the death or funeral service, or at any desired time.
Sorokoust - commemoration of the departed at the Liturgy continuously for forty days after death. It is usually completed on the fortieth or forty-first day after death. These days include the day of death itself. But we must remember that the Church Charter prescribes commemoration at the Liturgy not until the 40th day after death, but until the completion of the days of forty offerings, that is, before forty liturgical commemorations are served. Therefore, if the commemoration during the Liturgy did not begin on the very day of death (which most often happens), or if it was performed for some reason with interruptions, then it should be continued until the full number of liturgical commemorations have been performed, no matter how long the time for this may be. required. A similar situation usually arises when commemorating the deceased during Lent, since liturgical commemoration should begin only on the Monday after Antipascha. The fortieth day must be celebrated in its own time, if the Charter allows for the commemoration of the dead on this day, at least as a private requirement. If not, then on the next day when such a commemoration can be performed.
You can order a memorial service for the deceased for six months or a year.
Our prayer to God is what connects us and the deceased; it is that small pebble that can tip the scales and decide a person’s fate in eternity. Our and church prayer is what the deceased and his soul need.
